Thursday, November 30, 2006

The Four-Month Itch

For anyone who was shocked by the Britney/K-Fed split, you’d better take a seat. Former Baywatch babe, Pamela Anderson, and past/present/future dirt-bag, Kid Rock, are calling it quits just months after their multiple summer nuptials.


Evidently, the answer to that age-old question, “Do men ever get tired of looking at giant boobs?” is "yes, after four months." Oddly enough, that’s also the exact length of time it takes for a woman to get sick of being married to a giant boob.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Forgotten Classic Video of the Week

Since I couldn't put Flesh For Lulu on my Top 40 Songs of the '80s list - due to my own oppressive rules - I'm featuring their video for Postcards From Paradise today. It's one of my faves. Enjoy!

Mr. Touchy Tagged Me

Not to be confused with the classic Afterschool Special,"Mr. Taggy Touched Me."

I made an innocent comment on Write Procrastinator's blog that since he didn't tag me on a movie-related meme that I would just answer the questions within his comments section. Somehow, to him, this meant that I was being a crybaby about not being tagged and that now I want to be tagged with every meme under the sun. So, he tagged me. And not just with a nice little 5 question survey...nooooo. This thing is a freaking behemoth. Personally, I think he's just procrastinating again. He's supposed to be writing an 800-word essay on what not to do at a stoplight, but yet he continues to goof off. (He will understand and appreciate that reference, which is why I can't get mad at him. If anyone else gets it, I'll love you too.)

I have a love/hate relationship with these so-called "memes." I kind of enjoy prattling on about myself (obviously we all do, hence the existence and popularity of these things) but since I try to keep my blog on the pop-culture track, the kind that delve into more personal topics tend to derail my train of thought. So, wherever possible I will try to make the answers fit into my blog format, as I did with the last one. This time though, I'll try to avoid so many K-Fedisms. But I'm sure there will be at least one.

And awaaaay we go....

DO YOU SNORE?
Yes. Usually when forced to watch CNN.

ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
I'm in Fight Club and Love Club, and that's all I'm allowed to say about that.

WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR?
That Britney and K-Fed will reunite and celebrate by recording and releasing a cover of "Leather and Lace."

AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
Nice try. I was born a girl. The boobs are real.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF “REALITY” TV?
I've written plenty of posts on the subject. Some of it I detest, but there are plenty of shows that I find horribly addictive. I don't want it to be that way, it just is.

DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
Yes. Supposedly it's a sign of sexual frustration, along with chewing ice and peeling off beer bottle labels, which I also do. Make of that what you will.

WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
You betcha. And I wasn't even created in a lab like some babies I know. Yeah, I'm looking at you, Suri Cruise.

IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
Well, it's the only life I have, so I try to roll with it.

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black. But I suppose black is the absence of color, so I'm not sure how to answer this.

DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Hell yes. Once I started singing a Nickelback song and, luckily, the soap was right there for me to wash my mouth out with.

HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
No, and I can't see myself doing it in the near future.

ANY SECRET TALENTS?
No. If I can do anything remotely well, I don't keep it a secret.

WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Ireland.

CAN YOU SWIM?
Yes, but it's not one of my strong suits. You'll never see me telling my survival story on I Shouldn't Be Alive if I ever get stranded in the middle of the ocean or something.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO?
No, and I just mentioned this in Write Procrastinator's movie meme. It's one of those flicks that everyone has seen and I keep meaning to check it out. I'm tired of people giving me that snooty movie-snob look every time I say I haven't seen it.

DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
Yes, but I'm not giving up my car, hippies!

HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
Who cares? Just don't eat the raspberry ones, because they're mine, bitches.

CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
Well, I just tried to say the alphabet really quickly the other day because for some reason my niece was timing people to see who could do it the fastest. The first time I tried, I said "H" after "V." So, I'm guessing that I could do it backwards with some humorous results.

DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
I can't remember the last time I used a pencil, let alone a sharpener. Why not just get those mechanical pencils that you never have to sharpen? Progress, people!

WHAT’S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I can never remember if it's duck season or wabbit season or fiddler crab season. It's all very confusing.

IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
When I get my time machine working, I'll let you know.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes. When I'm not in a hurry.

WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Giant sunglasses, hipsters and, apparently, New Jersey.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, “I LOVE YOU”?
Ask my giant, inflatable John Travolta doll.

DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
No.

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
In my ovaries.

ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Oooh, I think I've heard this one. What's the punch line?

WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
Rolled up in Justin Timberlake's pants?

WHAT TIME IS IT?
Ok, since the Morris Day and Spin Doctors jokes have already been used, I will say go ask Flavor Flav.

DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
I'm sure I have plenty, I just don't know them. BeckEye was actually a nickname created by my idiot ex-brother-in-law.

IS MCDONALD’S DISGUSTING?
Of course, that's why it's good.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
About an hour and 1/2 ago.

DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Showers.

IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Yes. And it's stupid questions like this that made the Claus-o-meter drop down to zero.

DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Obviously it depends on who's kissing it. Under ideal circumstances, yes.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Only when there are monsters and ghosts hanging around.

WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
What is this? An intervention?

CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
I don't eat it much anymore, but I dig Crunchy Jif.

CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
I'm sure I could, but why would I do that?

HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
They're kind of expensive.

IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
What is this? An intervention?

ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
What is this? An intervention?

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Blue-grey.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
For the most part. Is this a threat or are you offering me something better?

ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
I predicted the break-up of Britney and K-Fed, so what do you think?

HAVE YOU READ CATCHER IN THE RYE?
No. Book snobs, wrinkle your noses now.

DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
I took piano lessons when I was younger and never practiced so now I can't play much of anything. Yes, I regret it.

HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
What's money?

CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
No. Someone was supposed to teach me once in college, but I got bronchitis and couldn't go. The opportunity has never come around again. And I'm a wuss.

DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
Sometimes. I just like the smell of burning wood. But I hate being anywhere where there isn't a shower or at least a sink.

DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
Yeah, it happens enough.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Only the magic in a young girl's heart.

ARE DOGS A MAN’S BEST FRIEND?
This is a sexist question. But anyway, I love dogs and they love me.

YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
I'd certainly choose it above murder.

CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
In socks. On a smooth floor. And then I go play with my Rubik's Cube while watching The Dukes of Hazzard.

DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
If "a lot" means at least once a day, then yes.

IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
It seems unseasonably warm for the end of November.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
An egg McMuffin. Yes, I know that McDonald's is disgusting.

DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
Sometimes, but it's such a production that I usually don't bother.

HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW?
Do you mean like or like like?

WHAT’S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
Either the Head On ones or any of the Kay Jewelers ones.

DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
Well, since I'm not built like a 15 year-old boy, that would be a no.

FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
"Christmas is the Time to Say I Love You," by Billy Squier. It's my favorite holiday tune and I just heard it recently for the first time this season.

WHO ARE YOU TAGGING?
Three people who are sure to be annoyed by the length of this. But here goes:
Arlen, Heather and Martin.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Everything Comes in Threes

I was just tagged by Turnbaby, and it's a good thing, too! I have absolutely nothing to write about right now. I'm sure celebrities are still doing ridiculous things, but there's nothing in particular that's really grabbing me. Or maybe it's just the tryptophan.

So, here is the "3 Things" meme, Pop Eye style (although some questions require more personal answers):

3 Things that scare me:
The Burger King
Lifetime movies
Jessica Simpson's face in that new DIRECTV commercial

3 People who make me laugh:
Will Ferrell
Vince Vaughn
Kevin Federline

3 Things I love:
Music
Daffy Duck cartoons
John Travolta movie marathons (even though they generally only take place at my house)

3 Things I hate:
Celebrities who take themselves too seriously
People who are famous just for being famous (Paris Hilton, Oprah's friend Gail...)
Blackberry addicts

3 Things I don't understand:
Politics
The popularity of Deal or No Deal
Kevin Federline

3 Things on my desk:
My cell phone
Calendar
Pens

3 Things I'm doing right now:
Blogging
Half-listening to the E! True Hollywood Story about Friends that's on in the other room
Trying to stop thinking about Kevin Federline

3 Things I want to do before I die:
Meet John Travolta
Go to Ireland
Find the fountain of youth

3 Things I can do:
Recognize celebrity voices from animated movies, commercials, etc.
Remember all the words to songs that I don't even like
Bad impressions that my friends seem to find funny

3 Things I can't do:
Sing on-key
Watch Survivor
Give Kevin Federline a chance

3 Things I think you should listen to:
Pearl Jam....post-Ten
Anything Will Ferrell says, because he's a comic genius
Sue Johanson's advice

3 Things you should never listen to:
Fran Drescher's voice
Glenn Beck
Kevin Federline

3 Things I'd like to learn:
To sing
To play guitar
How to get a job as a VH1 panelist

3 Favorite foods:
Potatoes
Chicken
Anything with garlic (no, my breath doesn't stink)

3 Beverages I drink regularly:
Iced Tea
Water
Beer

3 Shows I watched as a kid:
B.J. and the Bear
The Love Boat
Scooby Doo

Woops...almost forgot to tag three people! I'll go with: LoraLoo, Teri and Les Becker. I expect your lists to be done within three days.

By the way, I don't know how K-Fed fit into so many categories, yet he escaped the "things I'm afraid of" one.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'd like to give thanks to all of you - my readers! When I started this, I never imagined that so many people would be interested in my inane pop culture ramblings. I heard once that the average lifespan of a blog is about six months. So many bloggers give up due to low readership, lack of time, lack of inspiration or they just plain lose interest. Since The Pop Eye is nearly 1 1/2 years old, I'm happy to say that I've overcome that six month itch and found some great "blogfriends" along the way. Thanks to all of you for reading my blog and creating blogs that I love to read. A very happy Thanksgiving to all of you and your families!

In honor of this day, I'm linking you all to what I think was one of my funniest posts ever, which just happens to be from last Thanksgiving. It was a bit of sarcastic lunacy that was inspired by everyone's favorite jive turkey - Tom Cruise. If you've never read it, or just want to see it again, click on the pic below to check it out.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Thank You , Sal & Helen Travolta

Aside from my family, there is one person who has been a constant in my life for as long as I can remember. I don't ever remember a time when he wasn't "there." I vaguely recall seeing him on Welcome Back, Kotter but my first vivid memory of him was when I was 5 years old and my sister took me to the drive-in to see Grease. I was immediately smitten and have loved him ever since! That is why I am extremely thankful for John Travolta.

Although I obviously am a student of pop culture and I follow entertainment news, I'm not really that much of a celebrity hound. I might think it's cool if I spot one on the street, and there are a few that I would like to meet for various reasons, but I would never lose my cool over a "star," with one exception of course. John is the one guy who could cause me to seriously fall apart. I might be a little tongue-tied or overcome with hormones if I ever met Eddie Vedder or Jeremy Sisto, but I think I could maintain my composure. If I ever met John, I would probably start bawling uncontrollably and/or babbling incoherently. And it has nothing to do with his celebrity status. He has this thing...this charm that just oozes out of him everytime he's onscreen. It doesn't matter what kind of role he's playing, that goodness and sweetness and genuineness always comes through. I feel like I know him. I feel like I've known him all my life. He's like a long-lost something who's been such a huge part of my world, yet he doesn't even know I exist. He's brought me such joy throughout the years, but I wouldn't even know how to put my feelings into words if ever I found myself in front of him. For these reasons, as much as I'd love to meet him someday, there's a big part of me that hopes I never meet him. I'm afraid I'd just come off as an obsessed fan or a silly little girl, and I'd rather that he never know who I am than think I'm some kind of wacko. One thing I'm not afraid of is being let down by meeting him. Something tells me that he is exactly who I think he is.

Whether I ever meet him or not, I'll always adore John.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Forgotten Classic Video of the Week

Giving y'all the video of the week, Thanksgivin' style!

Another thing I'm thankful for this year is YouTube. It's helped me rediscover videos that have slipped through the cracks in my mind, satisfied my craving for the ones I can't get enough of, and introduced me to some that I didn't even know existed. Case in point - the following offering from John Hiatt. This is the video for his very seasonally-appropriate song, and one of my personal favorites, "Thank You Girl," from 1987's brilliantly groovy Bring the Family. Hiatt is one of those great artists I mentioned in my last post, who has blessed the world with an incredible catalog of work. If you're not acquainted with his music, do yourself a favor and check him out. If you want a good starter record, I'd suggest Slow Turning if you're a little bit country, and Perfectly Good Guitar if you're just a little bit more rock 'n roll.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Thanks for the Music

In honor of Thanksgiving, all my posts this week will focus or reflect on some aspect of the entertainment or pop culture world that I am thankful for. First up - music.

Thank God for music. Music of all forms, genres, tempos, and languages. I don't know where I would be without it. True, there is some bad music out there, but I'd rather live in a world where I'm occasionally subjected to Britney Spears and Falco than one in which there was only silence. Whether good or bad, music provokes emotion. And who wants to live without emotion? Without music, I'm sure I would just be an empty shell.

And to those musicians who have filled my shell with beauty, happiness, heart, soul, sorrow, frustration, anger, hope, empathy, understanding, encouragement, and a myriad of other feelings - I thank you for your words, chords, visions and talents. You've created the soundtrack to my life. I'm looking forward to adding many more tracks.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Eye Boogers

Like the goop that's always accumulating in the corners of our eyes, the following news items are curiously fascinating:

TomKat is Officially Off the Prowl - Tom and Katie got married. Oh, thank God. With Britney and K-Fed calling it quits, my faith in true love was starting to deteriorate.

O.J. Simpson Hypothesizes on Committing Homicide - For anyone left on Earth who still believes that Juice is innocent, listen up. There are a few things you should know. Bill Gates isn't giving away $1 million for every email you forward, mixing pop rocks with Coke won't make your stomach explode and The Blair Witch Project was a fictional movie.

Emmitt Smith Wins the Not-so-Savage Ballet - The former Dallas Cowboy beat out D-list cheeseball, Mario Lopez, to win the Dancing with the Stars championship. What did Emmitt get for his blood, sweat and tears? A gaudy, clunky mirror ball trophy! Boy, those three Super Bowl rings must look like gumball machine prizes next to that baby.

Nerds Camp Out for PS3 - Gamers all over this great nation lined the sidewalks for days in front of Best Buys and Circuit Citys, awaiting the arrival of the new Playstation 3. For most of the young men on line, it certainly wasn't the first time they'd pitched a tent over a video game.

Snoop Dogg Goes, Uh, to the Dogs - Snoop is designing his own line of doggie clothing, toys and accessories that will be available to the public in Spring 2007. The products should be especially popular with neutered dogs who still wanna roll like ballers even after they lose their balls.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Creating an '80s Song List Ain't So Easy

After mulling over the VH1 "100 Greatest Songs of the '80s" list, I decided to compile my own list of 20. If you know anything about me, you should know that one of the phrases most often heard coming from my mouth is, "Oh, that's one of my favorite songs!" Therefore, this task was sure to be difficult. So, I had to impose some rules on myself to make it a bit easier.

Rule #1: All songs must have charted on either the Billboard Hot 100 or the Pop Singles chart. (I believe the "Pop Singles" chart was the Hot 100 prior to 1984.) This will prevent me from agonizing over which of the zillion obscure, random '80s tracks I love the most, which would cause my brain to explode. I flat-out broke this rule once and slightly bent it another time. I'll explain the reasons when I get to those songs.

Rule #2: No song can be a repeat from VH1's list. I made up this rule because as I was thinking of songs to put on my list, I noticed that none of them were on the VH1 list anyway. However, I ended up with two repeats. No biggie. Two exceptions to the rule is fine.

Rule #3: Anyone doing tasteless or vulgar movements will be disqualified. Woops, sorry...wrong list. *Ahem* The third rule is that no artist can be represented more than once. Guess what? I broke this rule too. Just once. It had to be done.

Even with these three rules in place, I still managed to go over the 20 mark, so I thought I'd make a Top 25 list. Then I went over 25 and ended up with a Top 30 list. Of course, my OCD won't allow me to do a Top 30 because that's just not a good list number. So, my final list is a Top 40 and, effective immediately, I have turned my brain off in order to avoid spending the entire week formulating a Top 1000 list.

Now I have 40 songs and the daunting task of ranking them ahead of me. Why did I want to do this again??

Here we go. I'm going to do my best not to over-think the order too much.

BeckEye's Top 40 Songs of the '80s:

40. "Midnight Blue," Lou Gramm - Lou has always been one of my favorite rock singers. I just love his voice. I got into an argument with my brother once because he said that Roger Daltrey was a better singer than Lou. Now that I think of it, he was probably right about Roger. Lou still has some sweet pipes though.

39. "Human Touch," Rick Springfield - I mentioned this song before when complaining about "Jessie's Girl." It's always been my favorite Rick tune. If you haven't seen it, you must check out the video on YouTube. It's so wonderfully cheesy. One of the lamest videos ever, really. Trust me. But, good Lord, Rick was a hottie back then.

38. "Situation," Yaz - I was so into Brit-pop in the '80s that I used to read a UK magazine called Star Hits. No one I ask ever seems to remember that, so if any of you do please let me know. Alison Moyet was often written about in that mag, which is probably the only reason I knew she existed. She could definitely belt it out. I didn't really follow her or Yaz but this song's appeal is undeniable. You can't not dance to it.

37. "It's Raining Men," The Weather Girls - I originally had J. Geils Band's "Centerfold" here but I changed my mind. I like "Centerfold," but I don't get all that excited when I hear it now. I still love this song for its delightful campiness. It's such fun to sing along with. And not just if you're a chick or a gay man. I know a few straight men who secretly dig this too.

36. "Should I Stay or Should I Go," The Clash - Proof that punk can be melodic and accessible.

35. "Express Yourself," Madonna - If I were still a dopey little kid, Madonna would probably have 10 songs on my list. But I'm all grown up now and, looking back, not many of her songs have really stood the test of time as far as I'm concerned. This one came out near the end of the '80s, and I think it's her best.

34. "I Want To Break Free," Queen - Most of Queen's best stuff came out in the '70s, but they were still cool in the '80s. I actually had a hard time choosing between this and "Radio Ga-Ga," an incredibly underrated song. I eventually went for this one because it's too catchy to ignore.

33. "No Myth," Michael Penn - This just got in under the wire, coming out in 1989. It's just a great song with a very Neil Finn vibe, which is probably why I like it so much. However, Michael lost points with me when I heard that he refuses to play this song live. Oh no, the true art-eest had a mainstream hit. If he's so offended by his radio success, why doesn't he give all the money he made from it back?

32. "Fool in the Rain," Led Zeppelin - This just got in under the other end of the wire, hitting the charts in 1980. Soon after, Bonham was dead and the greatest rock band ever was no more.

31. "Why Can't This Be Love?," Van Halen - Sorry, all you Van Halen purists! VH's first single with Sammy Hagar on vox is my all-time favorite in the band's history. Overall, I'd still go with the David Lee Roth days, but I adore this song. And I never really had a problem with Sammy. He had great teeth.

30. "Mary's Prayer," Danny Wilson - A total one-hit wonder, this Scottish trio used their 15 minutes wisely with a truly beautiful song. I think this may have later popped up in There's Something About Mary, which is unfortunate. I never saw the appeal of that movie, and I'm a Ben Stiller fan.

29. "The Promise," When in Rome - Another pretty song by a one-hitter. Maybe this one's just slightly prettier? Actually, thinking on it now, I'm kind of tempted to switch this out with the Danny Wilson song. NO! I must stop thinking too much and press on!

28. "In My Dreams," Dokken - Oh, how I loved Dokken. They were always overlooked in favor of the Poisons and Ratts of the day. I guess Don Dokken's hair just couldn't compete with C.C. Deville's. Whose could? Anyway, this was always my favorite song of theirs and it was also probably their biggest hit. I saw them live (minus George Lynch and Jeff Pilson) about five years ago with Ratt (minus Stephen Pearcy), LA Guns (who I missed) and Warrant (who didn't bother to show). They played a great set with this as the final song, of course, and Don could still hit those great high notes.

27. "She Don't Know Me," Bon Jovi - It was never a huge hit but, yes, this song charted. A lot of people forget that this song existed, but it's always been my favorite Bon Jovi tune. When "Runaway" first came out, I didn't like it. This was the next single, and the one that made me a fan.

26. "She's A Beauty," The Tubes - Great opening guitar riff, great vocals and harmonies. This is pretty much a perfect pop song. And Fee Waybill is one of the three most important people in the world, you know.

25. "Brilliant Disguise," Bruce Springsteen - I don't think this song gets the props it deserves. Maybe it's because this was post-E Street Band and a lot of fans didn't like Bruce's new "sensitive married man" persona. Whatever. It includes one of my favorite Springsteen lyrics ever, "God have mercy on the man who doubts what he's sure of."

24. "No Reply At All," Genesis - Genesis songs seemed to get crappier the further into the '80s they got. This one was obviously near the beginning of the decade, and I can not listen to this song without belting it out along with Phil while playing air drums and trumpet. What a great, groovy bass line this song has...and then they bring in the horns and it's just bliss. I have a real thing for bass. And horns. And hand claps. Did I mention this song has those too? Maybe this should be further up my list.

23. "Alive and Kicking," Simple Minds - I'm sure that "Don't You (Forget About Me)" would be in my Top 100, but it doesn't beat this other Simple Minds song. The best part is the end after that sweet little piano break, and then it slowly starts to build with the bass and drums and that kick-ass backup singer, and then all of a sudden it busts into a chorus sing-along. So good.

22. "Time (Clock of the Heart)," Culture Club - Boy George may have been a wacko, but his voice was as smooth as silk. I've never been a big fan of "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?," which seems to get all the love. This is the Club's best song, in my opinion.

21. "Head Over Heels," The Go-Go's - I love the piano on this track. The Go-Go's were so good at crafting catchy tunes, but this one grabbed me the most.

20. "The Reflex," Duran Duran - When I hear this song, I immediately think of Simon's black and white jacket from the video. From 1983 - 1985, I searched high and low for a jacket like that but never found one that was just right.

19. "Sweet Child O' Mine," Guns N' Roses - Repeat #1 from the VH1 list. It's not a power ballad, but a hard rock love song. Major difference.

18. "Ways to Be Wicked," Lone Justice - Other than MTV, I don't think this song got much exposure. Their biggest hit, "Shelter," came a couple of years after this. I loved Lone Justice immediately and, even though they didn't stay together for too long, Maria McKee remains one of my favorite female singers.

17. "Come Back and Stay," Paul Young - This was Paul's first hit, but it was soon overshadowed by the huge success of "Everytime You Go Away."

16. "Goodbye to You," Scandal - The battle-cry for any woman looking to go out and dance with her friends after dumping some jerk. What a fun song this is. I've always loved Patty Smyth's voice. I wonder what those Van Halen purists would have done if she had taken the gig as lead singer instead of Sammy Hagar, as Eddie Van Halen originally wanted?

15. "Missing You," John Waite - I've been made fun of for liking John Waite and I really don't give a shit. I like his voice and I love this song. It was one of those rare songs that was ridiculously overplayed, yet I never got sick of it. But, even though I like Tina Turner, I can't stand her cover of this.

14. "Everyday I Write The Book," Elvis Costello - Great song. Great lyrics. Here's a funny misheard lyric from me. I originally thought the line, "I'm a man with a mission in two or three editions," was "An Amana machine with two or three dishes." Now, I knew those couldn't really be the lyrics but I could not decipher what he was singing for the longest time. I don't think Amana even makes dishwashers. As if they did, those lyrics would make so much more sense within that song. Ignore my rambling. Let's just move on to #13.

13. "Good Times," INXS with Jimmy Barnes - I've mentioned this song several times before on this blog, so it should be no surprise that it's on my list. It's just an awesome groove.

12. "Bizarre Love Triangle," New Order - Here is where I bent Rule #1. This song hit #4 on the "Dance Hits" chart when it came out in 1986. For some reason, it ended up on the Hot 100 in 1995. Two possible reasons: 1) It was included on the soundtrack to the 1994 movie, Threesome, 2) It was included in a New Order Greatest Hits compilation released in 1995. So, technically it has been in the Hot 100, just not during it's original release. Make sense? Oh, who cares! There was no way I wasn't going to include this song on my list. It's more addictive than crack.

11. "Foolin'," Def Leppard - Say what you will about Def Leppard, but I love them. I had such a mad crush on Joe Elliott back in the day. I love his messy blonde shag. I love his tight pants that, no doubt, help him achieve that high-pitched wailing that I also love. I love that this song made s-s-s-stuttering cool.

10. "Edge of Seventeen," Stevie Nicks - My girl! Stevie is the ultimate rock goddess. She wasn't too smart for breaking up with Lindsey Buckingham, but hey, she was on coke at the time.

9. "Only the Lonely," The Motels - I can't even explain why I love this song so much, I just always have. It's got that bit of theatrical drama that I tend to go for, and Martha Davis's vocals are gorgeous. She's one of the three most important people in the world too, you know. (I hope someone is getting that joke.)

8. "Don't Dream It's Over," Crowded House - Personally, I think just about every song these guys created could've been a hit. And even though they had five songs on the Hot 100, two of which were in the Top 40, they're still considered a one-hit wonder by many people. That pisses me off. I could listen to Neil Finn's voice for days. It's better than chocolate.

7. "Something About You," Level 42 - I really liked these guys and assumed they would be around for a long time. They had a nice little funk-pop thing going on. This was their biggest hit, but they had some other good songs like, "Leaving Me Now," and "Lessons in Love."

6. "Kiss," Prince - My second and final repeat from VH1's list. Even though it's widely assumed by many that this is my favorite Prince song, it's actually a very close second. My true favorite of his is "Baby I'm a Star" from the Purple Rain soundtrack. I chose to follow my chart rule here, so "Kiss" wins out.

5. "Kayleigh," Marillion - These guys were pretty popular in the UK, but this was their one big hit in the States. It's such a beautiful love song but somehow manages to remain fairly "manly." If you've never heard the song, go watch the video now. Obviously, these guys weren't exactly camera-friendly which explains why they didn't thrive in the MTV era.

4. "The Unforgettable Fire," U2 - Rule #1 is officially broken. I don't care that this song never charted. When I thought of my favorite '80s songs, this was actually the 4th song that popped into my head. Perfectly understated guitar, unyielding drum beat, picture-painting lyrics and Bono's earnest vocals all combine to create one brilliant song. And that last verse/bridge is so beautiful. Gives me chills every time.

3. "New Moon on Monday," Duran Duran - Rule #3 is officially broken. No band was a bigger part of my youth than the double D. They're still a big part of my life! This has always been my favorite song of theirs, and the video is my fave too. Check it out.

2. "Wouldn't It Be Good," Nik Kershaw - I featured this video here before, so I won't get too in-depth with my comments. I just love this song!

1. "Beat's So Lonely," Charlie Sexton - Anyone who's been reading my blog regularly should've figured this one out right off the bat. I've featured this video before also. This may be one of my favorite songs ever, not just of the '80s.

One last note - my rules forced me to omit the never-charted "Postcards from Paradise" by Flesh for Lulu, which would've easily made my Top 5.

Then there was the whole Squeeze situation. I like "Tempted," but it's overplayed and, even though Paul Carrack has a mighty fine voice, it has too much of him and not enough Glenn Tilbrook for my taste. "Black Coffee in Bed" is a great song, which did chart on the Hot 100, but I still don't like it as much as "Another Nail for My Heart," "Annie Get Your Gun" or "If It's Love." And I couldn't believe that "Pulling Mussels (From the Shell)" was never on any Billboard chart! Aargh. The whole Squeeze thing was driving me mad, so I ended up just leaving them out of this completely, which really bothers me. I loves me some Glenn Tilbrook. No doubt this omission will slowly eat away at me until I make another list.


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Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Forgotten Classic Video of the Week

I've been on a Crowded House listening binge for the past week, so you might think that I would post one of their videos today. Ah, but that would be much too predictable of me. Instead, I've opted to reach a little further back into Neil Finn's career when he was kickin' it with his bro, Tim, in Split Enz. This is "I Got You," a song with one of the most impossibly catchy choruses ever written. It's just a great tune. I had almost forgotten about its existence at one point, but was thankfully reminded of it on Pearl Jam's Binaural tour. They did a lovely cover of it. As I found out later, Eddie Vedder is a big fan of Neil Finn, as am I. See? More proof that we're meant for each other.

As much as I remember and love this song, I've only seen the video one other time and it was a couple of years ago on VH1 Classic. It screams '80s. I don't know what's up with Neil in this vid but he looks like a cross between that kid who played Knox Overstreet in Dead Poet's Society and Pee-Wee Herman.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Kiefer Sutherland, Not Quite King of the Road

Hoping to get a behind-the-scenes look at an unknown band, I watched VH1's Rock Doc, I Trust You To Kill Me, which aired over the weekend. Somehow, this documentary of the struggling group, Rocco DeLuca and The Burden, ended up being more about big star Kiefer Sutherland, their self-appointed (and somewhat inept) road manager. I guess I should've seen that one coming.

I have to admit right up front that I couldn't get through the entire two hours. I lost interest after about an hour or so. It wasn't because the band wasn't good. In fact, I enjoyed the music quite a bit. They're a talented bunch, especially frontman Rocco who plays a mean dobro and sounds a bit like Jeff Buckley mixed with Lindsey Buckingham. They've got a nice blues-rock sound and are undoubtedly passionate about what they're doing. Rocco just came off a bit too much like those pretentious artists who brood a lot, drink a lot more and speak softly of their "craft" and "integrity."

For example, the boys were all pretty bummed out after their first gig at a London bar called The Borderline, where the crowd didn't seem to be responding fervently enough. After some drinking and pouting, Rocco suggested that the audience may not have been engaged early on because of the arrangement of the set list. It was more of a "gradual build" that he thought took too long to peak for some folks. Then he mumbled something about how he wouldn't adjust the set list just to please everyone because he's an artist and he has a vision, blah blah blah. Oh, come on. I understand a musician not wanting to compromise on lyrics, music, or a style of performing in order to cater to the masses. But we're talking about learning how to put on a live show that people will pay money to see. It's not a rock opera. The songs don't have to be in a particular order. Kicking off a live show with an uptempo song that immediately grabs people is hardly a sell-out move. It's a smart one. It's a no-brainer. But if Rocco chooses not to do that, he'd better get used to a lot more audiences like the one at The Borderline. Oddly enough, something as simple as changing his set list strikes Rocco as a mark on his musical integrity, yet he was willing to take part in a VH1 (mainstream media -eek!) documentary that wouldn't even have seen the light of day if it weren't for the involvement of his super-famous buddy, Kiefer Sutherland. Lesson learned? Giving fans what they want is lame. Using famous friends to get what you want is hip.

The other reason that I didn't fully enjoy this documentary was that it was too Kiefer-centric. After watching it, I really don't know that much about the band, but now I know all about Kiefer's troubled childhood, his inner demons and his obvious fondness for alcohol. At certain times, I really liked him in this. In the segments that focused on his love of music and his dedication to Rocco's band, he came off as very genuine. Listening to him talk, I had no doubt that music was and is a huge part of Kiefer's life, and I actually felt a kinship with him when he spoke about how certain songs or artists have had a profound impact on him. I've never been a giant fan of Kiefer's, but his appreciation and support of music made me like him a lot more. His willingness to walk around the streets of Dublin, handing out free tickets to ensure a packed house, was quite endearing. However, there were plenty of times when he just seemed like a self-absorbed Hollywood actor trying to be oh-so-very metaphysical about his involvement in the indie music scene. When he said things like, "Sometimes you have to go through something to find out why you did it," all I could do was try to think of other things so that my brain wouldn't explode while trying to process such a deep statement. Readers, I trust you to kill me if I ever say anything so ridiculous.

There was one especially intriguing character in this film, whose presence I couldn't figure out. At every show, there was someone in a bunny costume dancing around. It wasn't a creepy bunny; it was a cute one like the Easter bunnies you see at the mall. VH1 should do a documentary about the bunny. Who is the bunny? What drives the bunny? How bad does that person inside the hot bunny suit smell? Now, that's a show I would watch all the way through.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Dr. Feelgood Coulda Used More Cowbell

I hope my Vince Neil-lovin' best friend is reading this. Turns out that the Behind The Music installment about Motley Crue was just hilariously horrific enough that a little one-hour cable doc just won't do. There is now a feature film in the works, based on the Crue biography, The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band.

While Neil, Nikki, Tommy and Mick will reportedly be played by unknown actors, the plan is for several big stars to make rockin' cameos. Val Kilmer is slated to appear as Diamond David Lee Roth and, in a truly inspired bit of casting, Ozzy Osbourne will be played by Christopher Walken. I will pay $10 to witness that alone. Although, to really get my money's worth I hope there is a scene dedicated to the famous ant-snorting incident.

It will be interesting to see who all of the cameos are. Here are a few suggestions from me:

Jon Bon Jovi - Thomas Jane
Richie Sambora - Charlie Sheen (c'mon, that's funny!)
Doc McGhee - Jason Alexander or Paul Giamatti
Sebastian Bach - Brad Pitt
Axl Rose - Brad Renfro or Peter Sarsgaard
Pamela Anderson - Herself (or Jenny McCarthy,since Pam did a Jenny impression on SNL)

Feel free to make your own cast wishlist.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The White Trash Fairytale Comes to an End

What do a tornado and the Britney/K-Fed divorce have in common? One way or another, someone's losing a trailer.

*Ba-dum-bum* Thanks folks, I'll be here all week.

Actually, K-Fed might actually get to keep the trailer. That may end up being his primary residence, since Britney was at least smart enough (imagine - Britney smarter than Reese Witherspoon!) to have a pre-nup.

I'd like to take a second to personally thank Britney for finally ditching The Sperminator. Brit, I know I've never really been kind to you, but I'm so happy with you right now that I can't even pick on you in this post. We all know that the only reason K-Fed has been allowed to have a "music" "career" (not sure which of those words in that phrase needs sarcastic quotation marks more) is because of the public and media's fascination with your ridiculous courtship and marriage. After he's no longer Mr. Spears, it's only a matter of time before everyone forgets about him completely! Or at least until he shows up again on The Surreal Life.

Eye Boogers

Like the goop that's always accumulating in the corners of our eyes, the following news items are curiously fascinating:

Reese and Ryan are Kaput - Not suprisingly, another Hollywood couple has called it quits and not surprisingly it's either a case of the husband being jealous of the wife's fame or the wife deciding not to put up with infidelity. However you slice it, Ryan Phillippe is the jackass in this situation. I never could stand that pouty-faced little twerp. I can't imagine what took Reese so long to kick him to the curb. I mean, this is a girl who once dated Jeremy Sisto! How could her taste in men deteriorate so much? Anyway, the problem now is that since there was no pre-nup, Ryan could end up getting much of Reese's fortune.

Faith Hill: Freakin' Out or Foolin' Around? - There has been some controversy over Faith Hill's conduct at Monday's CMAs. She had just finished performing a song and was waiting backstage while the award for Female Vocalist of the Year was being announced. When Carrie Underwood was named as the winner, she threw up her hands, seemed to say, "WHAT?" to the camera, and then walked off. Everyone is now jumping all over Faith for being a sore loser, but she insists that she was just joking. Now, while I would be the first person to bust a celebrity for acting like a diva, I believe her. I've seen this video and the "evidence" of Faith's so-called "freak-out" just isn't compelling enough for me to believe. While it's true that on these shows, the person who performs prior to an award announcement is quite often the winner, that's not always the case. Even if Faith thought she had a good chance of winning, I really doubt she would spaz over it, especially knowing that the camera was on her. Why would she look directly into the camera to show her outrage? Even if she was miffed, these stars know how to cover up their true feelings to protect their images. She's been around long enough to know better. To me, it just looks like she was smiling, waiting for the name to be called, heard it wasn't her and used the opportunity for a bit of sarcasm and then probably went back to her seat. Big deal. But, you can be the judge. The video can be found here.

Meet Doo-Gay Howser - Neil Patrick Harris "proudly" came out of the closet...well, after a website pretty much outed him. I don't know what's less surprising these days - Hollywood couples getting divorced or well-groomed, single actors admitting that they're gay.

Kirstie Alley Wears a Bikini on Oprah - Gotta give the girl props. She certainly doesn't have the body of a runway model, but who the hell does? (Besides runway models, duh.) She looks good for 55...or any age, really. Now I just wish she'd stop wearing so much damn makeup.

Lindsay Lohan Hates Her 'Party Girl' Image - But she loves the coke!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Forgotten Classic Video(s) of the Week

Looking over that recent list of "the greatest" '80s songs, I wasn't surprised to find "Take My Breath Away" by Berlin. That had to have been one of the most overplayed songs of the decade. And from one its worst, overhyped and inexplicably popular movies - Top Gun. Ick. I thought the song was pretty the first 50 times I heard it, but it was the next 5000 that killed it for me.

It's too bad that Berlin became thought of as a one-hit wonder because of that song. They actually had quite a few hits and a groovy new-wave, synth-pop thing going on. I even have their Greatest Hits CD. I've had "No More Words" going through my head for the last couple of days, but I'm not posting that video here. It's definitely a "classic" but I hardly think it's "forgotten." At least not to anyone who regularly watched MTV in the '80s. It was a staple. Who doesn't remember the Bonnie and Clyde theme, featuring Terri Nunn with her blonde-hair-dipped-in-black-paint 'do? Well, if you don't, you can find the video on YouTube.

In lieu of that, I'll be generous and give you two. The first is "The Metro," which I'm sure will please my friend, Angela, and fulfill the "classic" requirement. The second is a song I've always liked, "Like Flames," which falls more into the "forgotten" category, but features some of Terri's best vocals.

The Metro


Like Flames

Monday, November 06, 2006

100 Greatest Songs of the '80s - The Full List

Since so many of you are upset about the absence of certain songs in VH1's Top 20 Greatest Songs of the '80s, I figured I'd post the whole list of 100 so you can see where your favorites fell.

1. Bon Jovi / "Livin' on a Prayer"
2. Def Leppard / "Pour Some Sugar On Me"
3. Duran Duran / "Hungry Like the Wolf"
4. Michael Jackson / "Billie Jean"
5. Prince / "When Doves Cry"
6. Hall & Oates / "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)"
7. Guns N' Roses / "Sweet Child O' Mine"
8. Madonna / "Like a Virgin"
9. Run-D.M.C. / "Walk This Way"
10. AC/DC / "You Shook Me All Night Long"
11. Journey / "Don't Stop Believin'"
12. Whitney Houston / "How Will I Know"
13. U2 / "With Or Without You"
14. The Bangles / "Walk Like an Egyptian"
15. Van Halen / "Jump"
16. INXS / "Need You Tonight"
17. Whitesnake / "Here I Go Again"
18. Dexy's Midnight Runners / "Come On Eileen"
19. Cyndi Lauper / "Time after Time"
20. Rick Springfield / "Jessie's Girl"
21. Michael Jackson / "Beat It"
22. The Cure / "Just Like Heaven"
23. Cyndi Lauper / "Girls Just Want to Have Fun"
24. A-Ha / "Take On Me"
25. Go-Go's / "Our Lips Are Sealed"
26. Guns N' Roses / "Welcome to the Jungle"
27. Kajagoogoo / "Too Shy"
28. Wham / "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go"
29. Talking Heads / "Burning Down the House"
30. Pat Benatar / "Love is a Battlefield"
31. Queen and David Bowie / "Under Pressure"
32. Night Ranger / "Sister Christian"
33. Soft Cell / "Tainted Love"
34. Poison / "Every Rose Has Its Thorn"
35. Phil Collins / "In the Air Tonight"
36. Tommy Tutone / "867-5309 (Jenny)"
37. Aerosmith / "Janie's Got a Gun"
38. U2 / "Pride (In the Name of Love)"
39. Modern English / "I Melt With You"
40. The B-52's / "Love Shack"
41. Motley Crue / "Dr. Feelgood"
42. The Clash / "London Calling"
43. ABC / "Look of Love (Part One)"
44. Bananarama / "Cruel Summer"
45. Janet Jackson / "Nasty"
46. The Police / "Every Breath You Take"
47. Twisted Sister / "We're Not Gonna Take It"
48. Bruce Springsteen / "Born in the U.S.A."
49. Beastie Boys / "Fight For Your Right"
50. Eurythmics / "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)"
51. Ratt / "Round and Round"
52. Dead or Alive / "You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)"
53. Billy Idol / "White Wedding"
54. Salt-N-Pepa / "Push It"
55. A Flock of Seagulls / "I Ran (So Far Away)"
56. Bonnie Tyler / "Total Eclipse of the Heart"
57. Toni Basil / "Mickey"
58. Culture Club / "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me"
59. John Mellencamp / "Jack & Diane"
60. Young M.C. / "Bust a Move"
61. Styx / "Mr. Roboto"
62. Berlin / "Take My Breath Away"
63. Devo / "Whip It"
64. Paula Abdul / "Straight Up"
65. Foreigner / "I Want to Know What Love Is"
66. Depeche Mode / "Just Can't Get Enough"
67. REO Speedwagon / "Keep On Loving You"
68. Public Enemy / "Fight the Power"
69. R.E.M / "It's The End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)"
70. Joan Jett & The Blackhearts/ "I Love Rock N' Roll"
71. Rick James / "Super Freak"
72. The Fixx / "One Thing Leads to Another"
73. Nena / "99 Luftbaloons"
74. George Michael / "Faith" c
75. Prince / "Little Red Corvette"
76. Thomas Dolby / "She Blinded Me With Science"
77. New Edition / "Candy Girl"
78. Blondie / "Call Me"
79. Human League / "Don't You Want Me?"
80. Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock / "It Takes Two"
81. Cameo / "Word Up!"
82. Squeeze / "Tempted"
83. Prince / "Kiss"
84. Lionel Richie / "All Night Long (All Night)"
85. Robert Palmer / "Addicted to Love"
86. Bow Wow Wow / "I Want Candy"
87. Falco / "Rock Me Amadeus"
88. Chaka Khan / "Ain't Nobody"
89. The Pretenders / "Brass in Pocket"
90. Tone-Loc / "Wild Thing"
91. Katrina and The Waves / "Walking On Sunshine"
92. New Kids on the Block / "You Got It (The Right Stuff)"
93. Gary Numan / "Cars"
94. The Rolling Stones / "Start Me Up"
95. Debbie Gibson / "Only in My Dreams"
96. Men at Work / "Down Under"
97. The Romantics / "What I Like About You"
98. Bobby Brown / "My Prerogative"
99. Wang Chung / "Everybody Have Fun Tonight"
100.Loverboy / "Working for the Weekend"

I have many issues with this list. I can't possibly hit them all, but here are some:

1. Yeah, they're high up with a song at #3, but how is it possible that Duran Duran only has ONE song on this list?? Cyndi Lauper, Prince, Michael Jackson and U2 have at least two songs represented. Where is "The Reflex" or "Rio" or "Is There Something I Should Know?" As I said before, Duran Duran = The '80s. How they can only have one song on here is beyond me.

2. Why is "Born in the U.S.A." the only Springsteen song represented? That record had so many great songs, including "Dancing in the Dark," which was a much bigger hit. And who doesn't remember that video with Courtney Cox being pulled onstage at the end? That is such an '80s moment.

3. Can't we remember the '80s as they actually WERE?? "Mr. Roboto" made the list? Seriously? Isn't that one of the most ridiculed songs of the '80s? How is it suddenly great? And "I Melt With You?" It's a good song, but because Modern English sold out to Burger King, it was bigger in the '90s than it was in the '80s. Back then, if you saw Valley Girl, you knew it. Otherwise it was lost in the shuffle of New Wave.

4. There is a serious lack of hair metal on this list. Ratt, Twisted Sister, Motley Crue, Poison, Whitesnake, Def Leppard and Bon Jovi each are represented by one song. Some could argue that some of these bands don't really deserve the "hair band" moniker, but I'm putting them all in the category for simplicity's sake. Less-hairy/more-scary heavy metal bands aren't represented AT ALL, which is insane. No Metallica? No Judas Priest? No Ozzy? AC/DC is the only real metal band on the list. Aerosmith doesn't really qualify because they really started heading for pop territory in the '80s and '90s. I don't really consider Guns N' Roses "metal" either, just good, hard rock.

5. How is Chaka Khan's "Ain't Nobody" on the list, yet her cover of "I Feel For You" is nowhere to be found?? That song was huge. Again, people aren't remembering the '80s accurately.

Finally, what I would call glaring omissions: "Goody Two Shoes" by Adam Ant, "Centerfold" by J. Geils Band, "Don't You (Forget About Me)" by Simple Minds, "Hold Me Now" by The Thompson Twins, "Always Something There To Remind Me" by Naked Eyes, "Everytime You Go Away" by Paul Young, "Missing You" by John Waite and "She's a Beauty" by The Tubes.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Greatest Songs of the '80s? You Decide.

VH1 recently aired its special, The 100 Greatest Songs of the '80s, which is yet another list for people to disagree over. Apparently, everyone was allowed to vote for their favorites on VH1.com, so I guess if you didn't vote, you really can't complain. I didn't vote, but it's my blog and I'll complain if I want to.

So, without further ado, here are the top 20 songs of the '80s, as voted by VH1 viewers. I love the '80s, but there's no way I'm going to sit here and compile the whole list. I will, however, sit here and compile my thoughts on each entry.

20. Rick Springfield, "Jessie's Girl" - This song definitely belongs in the Top 20. It's one of those staples of the '80s that can be found on every compilation. As a huge Rick fan, I've had issues with it because it seems like everyone has forgotten how many hits he had. He's often treated like a one-hit wonder, which is inaccurate and unfair. I still like the song; I'm just tired of it. Give me "Human Touch" any day. We all need the human touch.

19. Cyndi Lauper, "Time After Time" - I can vividly remember when this song first came out. I remember dressing as Cyndi for Halloween. I remember seeing her in concert with a barely-known Bangles. It does NOT seem that long ago. But, the fact is, I'm getting old. The song is timeless, but alas, I am not.

18. Dexy's Midnight Runners, "Come On Eileen" - Yeah, it deserves to be in the Top 20, but it's so played out that I just can't take it anymore. It was interesting to find out via the countdown that, in recent years, lead singer, Kevin Rowland, turned in his scuzzy overalls for a dress. I don't think he renamed himself Eileen though.

17. Whitesnake, "Here I Go Again" - Another tidbit I found out through VH1 is that David Coverdale named the band after his penis. I swear, my naivete throughout the '80s never went away. It's like when I found out that the guys in Duran Duran were a bunch of druggies, or the Go-Go's were a bunch of coked-out sluts, or that some of the guys in Def Leppard used to go backstage in the middle of a concert to get busy with groupies. In each of these instances, I've been shocked. I expect this kind of behavior from artists today, but for some reason when it comes to '80s groups, I still have the same wide-eyed innocence about them as I did back then. Even with the metal guys. I don't know why that is. I have NEVER, in all these years, even had a passing thought about what "Whitesnake" actually meant. There were so many "White-something" bands that I guess it just never registered. Boy, I'm a dope. But anyway, getting back to the song, it's a good one. Overplayed, yes. But I never seem to tire of it.

16. INXS, "Need You Tonight" - I was a huge INXS fan, so I'm glad to see them in the Top 20, even if this isn't my personal favorite of theirs. Still, it was huge and I think it was their only #1 hit. Luckily, I got to see them live once on the X Tour. They were one of the best live acts I've ever seen. I don't follow them anymore. Not since the whole Rock Star spectacle. There's no replacing Michael Hutchence.

15. Van Halen, "Jump" - I can't believe I was 11 years old when this came out. For some reason, I have a vivid memory of playing this on the jukebox at Pizza Hut while I was waiting for dinner to come. Maybe this is why I'm having a serious craving for pizza right now. Wow, I never realized that I had such a strong Pavlovian response to "Jump." I guess it's better than it prompting me to jump off a bridge or something.

14. The Bangles, "Walk Like an Egyptian" - I've always found this song really stupid, yet I know all the words and I probably wouldn't turn it off the radio if it came on. And I'm less tired of it than the supremely overplayed "Eternal Flame." But, I'm very bothered by the fact that The Bangles made the Top 20 and The Go-Go's didn't. That just doesn't seem right. I mean, come on, people actually picked this over "Our Lips are Sealed" or "We Got the Beat?"

13. U2, "With or Without You" - This actually should probably be a little higher up. Anything from The Joshua Tree is beautiful and that record represents the best of what the '80s had to offer. I so completely remember when this video debuted on MTV, because there was so much hype over the "highly anticipated new U2 song." Then I watched it and hated the song! Amazing. It wasn't until I went to see U2 on the Joshua Tree tour that I fell in love with it. I can't even listen to it now without wondering what the hell my problem was at the time. It's an incredible song.

12. Whitney Houston, "How Will I Know" - When I first saw this so high up on the chart, I sort of wrinkled my nose up and then when that ultra-peppy synth line started up, I remembered how often I acted this song out in front of my bedroom mirror. There's no denying Whitney's pipes and that this song is a total '80s classic. I'm so glad to see this here instead of the super-sappy "Greatest Love of All."

11. Journey, "Don't Stop Believin'" - Arena rock at its finest, baby. You can't not sing along with this song. And who doesn't vainly try to hit that high note on "streetlights, peeeee-ople-oooo-eeeeew-OHHHHH?" What kind of irked me was finding out that this song has found new life after being played on an episode of Laguna Beach. Well, it doesn't really irk me that the song is getting the props it deserves, I just know that this is the kind of song that you could play for your kid or niece or nephew and they would be like, "Oh gawd, like, this is soooo gay." Yet, some trendy, rich kid on a lame-ass, not-quite-reality MTV show likes it and suddenly it's cool. Whatever, I'm sure Steve Perry doesn't care why new checks are coming in, as long as they're coming.

10. AC/DC, "You Shook Me All Night Long" - I don't even like AC/DC, but I can't help but like this song. Everyone likes it. And it's earned its place as "required wedding music," along with Kool and The Gang's "Celebration" and Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock & Roll."

9. Run-D.M.C., "Walk This Way" - I can understand why this is in the Top 20, purely because it represented the meshing of rock with hip-hop, and was the beginning of bringing rap and hip-hop into the mainstream. I like it well enough, but I wouldn't put it at #9 on my list. I don't even like the original Aerosmith song that much, as compared to some of their other, older stuff. But whatever. I can live with this.

8. Madonna, "Like a Virgin" - Because of how much I dislike her these days, it's easy for me to forget how much I loved Madonna back in the day. I guess this needs to be here since this was probably the quintessential Madonna song. Still, "Borderline" was better. And "Express Yourself" will always be my favorite.

7. Guns 'N' Roses, "Sweet Child O' Mine" - Yes. Abso-frickin'-lutely. The guitar solo is out of this world and the whole song is a damn rock masterpiece. I don't care how crazy Axl is, was or will be, his band was keeping real rock 'n roll alive in the '80s.

6. Hall & Oates, "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)" - Now, here is where I had to let out a very confused "What??" Are people serious? This song at #6??? Now, I'm not here to take the predictable swipe at these guys. I actually kind of liked Hall & Oates. They were quite ubiquitous in the '80s. I've always loved Daryl Hall's voice. But this song just kind of blows. It wasn't even their biggest hit! How did this get here? What about "Maneater," "Out of Touch," "You Make My Dreams," or...hello..."Private Eyes!?!?!" When I think Hall & Oates, I immediately think "Private Eyes." No matter that when I first heard the song I thought they were singing, "Friday nights, they're watching you..."

5. Prince, "When Doves Cry" - If Prince hadn't been represented in the Top 10, I would've had a colossal hissy fit. Thank goodness he's here! As far as his hits go, I prefer "Kiss," but I can't argue about this song being higher up. It's a pretty perfect song...that hypnotic drum track, the kick-ass guitar, the dark, brooding lyrics, Prince's vocal range, the cool backing vocals, all the high-pitched wailing at the end...what more could you ask for? It might even rock harder than "Sweet Child O' Mine."

4. Michael Jackson, "Billie Jean" - I would switch this out with "Beat It," but I guess since this was the first single from Thriller and the true beginning of his reign as the King of Pop, it deserves to be here more. Besides, everyone remembers Jacko debuting this song at the Motown Anniversary show, moonwalk and all.

3. Duran Duran, "Hungry Like the Wolf" - Ok, this should be #1. No question. The '80s = Duran Duran. That's all I have to say about that.

2. Def Leppard, "Pour Some Sugar on Me" - I'm convinced that the resurgence this song has experienced in recent years is more attributable to it being #2 than its popularity when it actually came out. Not that it wasn't popular back then, but it's picked up more fans as time's gone by, thanks to dance club DJs, strippers and karaoke bars. Yes, Def Leppard was a huge part of the '80s and I'm not ashamed to say that I've always been a major fan. However, this is not their best song. It's not even the song that best personifies them. There's no way this should be higher than "Photograph." Or even my personal fave, "Foolin'."

1. Bon Jovi, "Livin' on a Prayer" - I still think Duran Duran should be #1, but I can't really argue with this. Bon Jovi were the hair band Gods of the '80s and everyone loved and still loves this song.

I was surprised that a few songs didn't make the Top 20. Namely, either of the aforementioned Go-Go's tunes, "Goody Two-Shoes" by Adam Ant and "Every Breath You Take" by The Police. What do you all think?

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

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I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine