Wednesday, March 12, 2008

American Idol 7 Results: 3/12/08

Wake me when it's over.
I need a bloody drink.

So, tonight I was watching American Idol and a beginner's dance class broke out. Can someone please tell me what was up with all of the horrible dancing? As if the Beatles medley itself wasn't bad enough, we had to endure the contestants sleepwalking through some routine that looked like it was choreographed by Heinrich Himmler. They must have only had time for one rehearsal because no one even seemed to know what they were supposed be doing at any given time. At the beginning, when they started out with "All My Loving," Michael was paired up with just about every girl to sing harmony. He was barely audible and looked completely confused (but still super-hot). Then when he finally got into the swing of things during "Can't Buy Me Love," Amanda screeched right over his lines. Wow. That whole display was just an abomination. Sanjaya was in the audience. He loved the medley. Gave it a standing ovation. Very telling.

In case any of the finalists didn't feel like killing themselves after being forced into that, being sold into car sales slavery oughta do it. Yes, kids, the Ford commercials returned tonight. You might imagine that "Drive My Car" would've been the obvious song choice for this week's ad, but they inexplicably had the Idols cover "The Distance" by Cake. They covered Cake. CAKE. After weeks of hearing all of the judges moan and groan about song selection, they had everyone perform a song with virtually no singing. Yo, yo, yo, baby, those kids can speak!

Commercialism was King tonight, as Jim Carrey showed up in the audience dressed as an elephant to promote the upcoming FOX film, Horton Hears a Who. There was also a video dedicated to the Top 12's trip to the Horton premiere. Everyone got to meet Carrey and Steve Carell, but Amanda was most excited about meeting REO Speedwagon's Kevin Cronin. I bet when he talked to her, he pronounced her name "Amanda Ov-errr My-errrrrrrrrr."

David Foster accompanied special guest Katharine McPhee for her return to the Idol stage. She sounded good enough, but I had almost forgotten how annoying this broad is. She did the gender-switch cover of George Harrison's "Something," a song that she probably dedicated to her new husband. He couldn't be there because it was canasta night at the nursing home.

Ryan introduced a new feature for this season's results nights - live questions from viewers. I called in a bunch of times, but they kept hanging up on me. Supposedly my question for Michael violated FCC regulations. Whatever.

Thank God the Bottom 3 all sang again before the results were announced. Hopefully this set-up will prevent future Alaina Whitaker-ish meltdowns.

I had 2/3 of the Bottom 3 correct - David Hernandez and Kristy Lee Cook. I wasn't expecting Syesha Mercado to be in the bottom, so I wasn't surprised when she was the first one saved. I knew that Kristy Lee would end up staying. Sure enough, David Hernandez was sent packing. Luckily, he only had a few g-strings, bow ties and tear-away tuxedo pants to pack.

None of the producers could think up a new theme, so it's more Lennon/McCartney next week! Come on, Kristy Lee. You can make "You Know My Name (Look Up the Number)" a kick-ass bluegrass song!

21 comments:

CDP said...

You had me at "choreographed by Heinrich Himmler", you mad, mad woman.

Falwless said...

I often wear tear-away tuxedo pants.

Bye bye Hernandez. I'm sure to easily forget your existence in a couple of days.

As for Ramiele, what is America thinking? How was she not in the bottom three?

Red said...

Don't be jealous that I picked the bottom three and you didn't. Your recaps are still 100 times better than mine :)

Scott Booker said...

Somehow I actually called the bottom 3. I was hoping that Syesha wouldnt be in the bottom 3...but kinda figured she might.

My votes went to David Cook, David A and Brooke.

And I am looking forward to the next round of Beatles. I hope that David A goes back to doing his ballads....it will be so much better for him.

And yes...there are so many great Beatles songs that would be good country versions. Hope for our ears sake...she picks one of those. LOL

The Guv'ner said...

THESE PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO BUTCHER BEATLES SONGS, DAMNIT.

oops, caps lock.

I am currently performing a kick ass version of "Revolution" at my desk, as we speak. You're missing out, really.

I snorted at the canasta thing.

Mathdude said...

Excellent summary! I, too, had 2 out of the bottom 3 while missing who left. I consider tying you on this a plus.

Falwless - your new avatar is the absolute best! I love the smoking monkey!

SkylersDad said...

The live questions segment was horrible! I love how the actual question was posted up there, and yet people still looked surprised when the question came up.

Did you notice how the dissed the one 50 year old?

Falwless said...

Mathdude--As is yours, as is yours. We have excellent taste.

Falwless said...

skylersdad--hahahaha, I totally saw them diss the 50 year old. I laughed pretty heartily.

Mike said...

GOOD LORD! The dance opening. Amanda screaming out of key. Chicklets flailing away at a breakneck pace. Your dreamy michael looking confused as to how to sing with the bevy of off key singers. Poor John and Paul. Is this a tribute? I would have rather seen Jim Carrey do his "talking asscheeks" bit from "ace" than watch this!

Loved the comment about K mcphee and her prune juice swigging hubby.

Kristy Lee gets another shot at murdering a Beatles tune. I smell a disco version of "Revolution"

Beth said...

NO! They did "Drive My Car" with a Ford commercial?

Dale said...

Who Wants To Live Forever when those dance routines break out. It's all so very Brady.

FranIAm said...

You see - once again I am not forced to suffer the indignity of actually watching this, plus I get to experience your rapier sharp sense of humor.

This whole PopEye thing is working very well for me, thank you very much.

M@ said...

I really need to point the ladies at work to your blog. My goodness.

fran said...

That car commercial was the most offensively awful one yet. I didn't think it could be topped, but then the marketing geniuses at Fox decided to spend the whole hour plugging "Horton Hears A Who". I hope festering guilt manifested itself in the form of a giant zit on everyone's nose.

Oh, and I can't wait for next Tuesday.

Gifted Typist said...

Yup BeckEye, choreographed by Heinrich Himmler your line-of-the week.

Kristy Lee in top eight? Oh please.

Gifted Typist said...

Sorry
IS your line of the week

Dale said...

Beckeye's going the distance GT!

BeckEye said...

CDP - It's a mad, mad blog.

Falwless - Who doesn't? They go with everything.

Red - Well, when you put it that way, I guess I can let go of my anger.

Scott - Whatever Kristy sings, I just hope she stops wearing sequins.

Guv - Oooh, is it the country version of "Revolution??"

Mathdude - It's so hard to guess who's going this year because THE TALENT IS STRONGER THAN EVER!!

Skyler's Dad - I was going to say something about their ageism, but then Ryan took a call from a 40 year old, so I didn't bother. I guess 40 is the cut-off though.

Mike - Yeah, I think a talking asscheeks version of "Nowhere Man" would be kind of awesome.

Beth - No, they didn't. You're skimming again, aren't you?

Dale - Please. Those dance routines on the Brady Bunch were tight.

FranIAm - Hmm, I almost mistakenly typed your name as "FanIAm." Freudian slip? You make-a me blush. :)

M@ - Point away! Point the guys this way, too.

Fran - Oh, they'll top the awfulness of that Ford commercial or die trying!

GT - Thank you. I love when I crack myself up with something that other people end up liking too. It happens pretty rarely.

Dale - And Paula's going for speed.

DrillerAA said...

I have an idea for an Idol spin off. Stop by for a preview.
Why can't the do something similar to Dancing with the Stars by inviting the two or three best performances to do an encore, rather than having a repeat of the worst of the previous show? Just whack 'em and send 'em home.

Movie Maven said...

Okay, I don't ever watch the results shows, and I just read this now: "I bet when he talked to her, he pronounced her name "Amanda Ov-errr My-errrrrrrrrr.""

FREAKING AWESOME.

 

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