Wednesday, June 30, 2010

What The Kids Are Watching

Even though I post a forgotten classic video every week, new videos don't get much coverage on this blog. I guess it's because now that I have to go online to see any music videos, they just don't thrill me anymore. It's not like the days when I could just be a mindless drone with the TV tuned to MTV for hours on end. I liked when the videos came to me; it sucks having to go to them. I have other shit to do. Sometimes.

But not tonight—hence, this post! Let's look at some of the latest vids that are inspiring halfwits to leave grammatically horrifying and generally racist and/or homophobic comments all over the Tubes of You. (Click any pic to watch the vid. Sorry, but YouTube is still disabling embedding for a lot of vids and basically being a pain in my ass. But I still love it.)

"California Gurls," Katy Perry - As with every other Katy Perry song, I thought this was incredibly stupid about the first 3-4 times I heard it. Then before I knew what happened, I was waving my arms out the car window like a spaz, singing ridonk lyrics and trying to get my voice all creepily robotic and Auto-Tuney like Katy's. As for the vid, I doubt I'll change my mind about its stupidity anytime soon. Still, it does have its moments. I mean, there's nothing wrong with candy. And I kind of want Katy's blue sequined shorts. (I had a thing for Feist's blue sequined number in "1234" also. So now everyone has an idea of what to get me for Christmas.) And there's nothing wrong with candy. Or Katy. She's still totally hot in that "dumber, trashier, cousin of Zooey Deschanel" way. I can't decide if the whipped cream bra cannon is asinine or awesome. And there's nothing wrong with candy. Did I mention that? Jesus, I'm hungry. Oh, I almost forgot the most important thing. I totally want Snoop Dogg to take me to my 20-year high school reunion. And it should go without saying that he has to wear that cupcake suit.

Winning YouTube comment: "k MY friend thinks that we'll melt your popsicle means if you have a popsicle in your hand(like an actual popsicle) it will melt, i think that i means your penis goes all "ihyiyi" and tingly and me it go 'pop" out 5of your pants. who do you think is right." - MusicChick05

"On Melancholy Hill," Gorillaz - As much as I love Gorillaz music, and as much as I appreciate Jamie Hewlett's artwork, I was never into the whole cartoon image. I, for one, am extremely happy that the band has finally come out from behind the animated characters and are letting people see who they really are. Especially because, as most of you should be aware, Damon Albarn is a god amongst men. Also, I'm just not into comic books. My own brother is a comic book artist and I can't even get into his stuff. Again, I can appreciate the artwork, but the storylines are just not interesting to me. Anyway, LOVE this song but the video...I don't know. I'm lost. (Like, why is there a 3D Noodle and a cartoon Noodle? I guess you have to follow the whole Gorillaz saga to know what the hell is going on.) I do like that manatee though. And the drawings of all (or most of) the Gorillaz guest stars in their submarines, including a non-cupcake suit-wearing Snoop. But why don't Damon and Jamie get to be in a submarine?? I would actually like to see how Jamie draws himself.

Winning YouTube comment: "124 people that disliked this song, probably had some kind of disaster in their childhood." - ahoydori

"Airplanes," B.o.B. (Featuring Hayley Williams) - Hand claps. Aight! Chick singing. Uh...OK. This sounds like a lot of stuff on the radio. But the rap kicks in and it's actually kind of cool. Hey, those Polaroids are coming to life!!! Ah, that takes me back to the good old days of silly '80s video gimmicks. And is that chick wearing yellow eyeshadow? Yeah, the '80s are definitely alive and well. This is kind of a boring video overall, though. It needs more breaking glass and water.

Winning YouTube comment: "I am only responsible for like half a million of the total views." - 1992jarrett

"The Ghost Inside ," Broken Bells - This is one of my favorite songs of the year (so far). Oh, lookie. It's Christina Hendricks. In space, everyone can still see how hot she is. Hmm, what's this now? I sense a message video coming on. If the world continues on as it is, gas really will cost you an arm and a leg! No, no...that's not the message. Maybe it means that in the future, we'll sell anything to get what we want? I don't know. But we'll all be androids, so will we really care? Rod Serling would know the answers to these questions better than Danger Mouse.

Winning YouTube comment(s): "as much as I want to like this, i have to be a stickler for grammar and the misspelling of "Destination" in the beginning of the video hurts me." - scum117
"Well if you think about it, this video is set 100s of years in the future, spellings of words might have changed. I'm sure 100 years ago people probably spelled some things differently." - BBoldtThaMixer


"Somebody to Love," Justin Bieber (Featuring Usher) - Well, first I'd like to say that I'm relieved to find this is not a remake of my favorite Queen song. You know what isn't a relief? The realization that I don't immediately hate this. I mean, I don't have Bieber Fever or anything. The video I could do without because I can't stand looking at this kid's face. And he should really never ever grab his crotch while dancing. Ever. But the song is actually kind of catchy. And I've gotta hand it to the kid for being smart enough to surround himself with a lot of people who are way, way cooler than he is.

Winning YouTube comment: "This song has nothing to do with Asians." - littlekftw

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Sonic Sunday: The Mutt Mixx

I was listening to "Bron-Y-Aur Stomp" the other day and was suddenly hit with the inspiration to do a mix devoted to our furry little canine friends. Unfortunately, I'd already used that Zep tune in a past mix, so you won't be seeing it again here. But even without it, there are still plenty of songs that honor man's (and woman's) best friend, including these 10.

"The Puppy Song," Harry Nilsson - If only I could have a puppy/I'd call myself so very lucky/Just to have some company/To share a cup of tea with me/I'd take my puppy everywhere/La la la la I wouldn't care/Then we would stay away from crowds/With signs that said no dogs allowed

"The Dog Song," Nellie McKay - My life was tragic and sad/I was the archetypal loser/I was a pageant gone bad/Then there was you on time and wagging your tail/In the cutest mime and you was in jail/I said woof, be mine and you gave a wail

"I Love My Dog," Cat Stevens - I love my dog as much as I love you/But you may fade, my dog will always come through/All he asks from me is the food to give him strength/All he ever needs is love and that he knows he'll get

"My Dog And Me," John Hiatt & The Goners - Then she gives me that look/Like she'd lay down her life/No doubt she would in a minute, man/She'd face the bullet, oh she'd face the knife/Just to keep my butt from the fryin' pan

"Man Of The Hour," Norah Jones - You never lie/And you don’t cheat/And you don’t have any baggage tied to your forefeet/Do I deserve to be the one/Who will feed you breakfast, lunch, and dinner/And take you to the park at dawn/Will you really be my only man of the hour?

"Your Adorable Beast," Bobby Bare, Jr. - I look cute at the end of your leash/Your adorable beast/As I salivate on your shoes/Obedient and true/Loyal through and through/A fuzzy reflection of you

"Old King," Neil Young - King went a-howlin' after deer/Wasn't scared of jumpin' off the truck in high gear/King went a-sniffin' and he would go/Was the best old hound dog I ever did know

"Fido, Your Leash Is Too Long," The Magnetic Fields - Fido, your leash is too long/You go where you don’t belong/You’ve been digging in the rubble/Gettin’ bitches in trouble/Fido, your leash is too long

"Dog," Hunters & Collectors - Scratched at the gate and I scratched at the ground/My hair stands up when the gate swings around, yeah/It's all coming out into the open/And I'm licking your hand all over

"Atomic Dog," George Clinton - Like the boys/When they're out there walkin' the streets/May compete/Nothin' but the dog in ya/Why must I feel like that/Oh, why must I chase the cat?

I'm pretty sure the last two songs are dog/man metaphors, but I like them so they're staying in the mix.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Forgotten Classic Video(s) of the Week

Since I was being lazy last week and forgot to post a vid, I'm giving you a double shot.

My inspiration for this week's videos came from my beloved WYEP, the local public station and sole reason I haven't destroyed my radio. I always go out for lunch around the same time they're doing their "Time Capsule" feature, and a couple of days ago they set the Wayback Machine to 1983 to remind me of a song I almost forgot existed: "Cool Places" by Sparks featuring Jane Wiedlin. I always thought it was kind of a stupid song, but pretty catchy nonetheless.



I know virtually nothing about Sparks, except that I remember always being creeped out by the mustachioed guy and I saw them open for someone once. I'm not positive, but I think it was Rick Springfield. Odd bill, no?

So, since I really don't care about Sparks, video #2 is another Jane Wiedlin song. Jane's most successful solo single was 1988's Top 10 hit "Rush Hour" (everyone remembers that dolphin video), but I've always had a soft spot for her first single, 1985's "Blue Kiss." It's every bit as cute and bouncy as Belinda Carlisle's 1986 hit "Mad About You," yet Belinda's song rocketed to #3 while Jane's barely cracked the Hot 100.



Yeah, maybe Belinda was the better singer, but Jane was cuter. Plus, she totally rousted the English from France. And then she turned this dude, Dauphin, into a king. So, Jane's pretty awesome in my book.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

What Is The Deal With Lady Yadda Yadda?

I'm sure you've all heard about Lady Gaga's recent trip to Citi Field, where she tried to take in a Mets game in a leather jacket and lingerie without attracting attention. However, when photographers and fans wouldn't leave her alone for some strange reason, she flipped everyone off and was promptly escorted to Jerry Seinfeld's private box, apparently for her own protection. Jerry wasn't too happy about the whole situation and had this to say:

This woman’s a jerk. I hate her...You take one 'A' off of that and you've got 'gag.'

I can’t believe they put her in my box, which I paid for. You give people the finger and you get upgraded? Is that the world we’re living in now? What is she giving the finger [for]? What’s the finger anyway? Speaking of interesting and new, how old is the finger? How did it even get to be the finger?
Luckily for you folks, I was able to get an EXCLUSIVE follow-up with Jerry, in which he continued his tirade against Lady "Gag!" Check it out...

So, this Lady Gaga, huh? I mean...what is the deal with her? If she's a lady, why is her name "Gaga?" Isn't that what babies say? And what about that? Why is "gaga" the first thing babies learn to say? If humans are really so intelligent, why don't babies come out of the womb learning to say, "I'm hungry?" Baby deer are up and running around like a minute after they're born! You mean to tell me that after years and years of evolution, human babies haven't learned to tell us why the heck they're crying? They can't figure out how to say, "Hey mom, I've got a situation in my diaper. You wanna, uh, take care of this?" I mean, come on!

And what is the deal with Lady Gaga wanting to be called "Lady" all the time? Is she royalty? Is that allowed? You mean all this time, I could have been telling people my name was Lord Jerry Seinfeld and they would all call me that, no questions asked? I want to be a Lord! Call me Lord! But nicknames don't work that way. You can't give yourself a nickname. If you have to give yourself a nickname, you either have no friends or you've never done anything interesting enough to warrant a nickname! Giving yourself a nickname is about the lamest thing you can do. If you give yourself a nickname, it might as well be "Lame-o," because that's what everyone will call you anyway. I mean, really! And why is it called a "nick" name? Who is this "Nick" fellow, going around naming everyone? And what was Nick's nickname?

And have you heard this Lady Gaga song, "Just Dance?" What is the deal with that? When you hear a song is called "Just Dance," you know that it was written by a woman. Because the biggest difference between men and women isn't their physical appearance or the way they handle emotions...the biggest difference between men and women is the importance of dance in one's life. Really! I mean, dancing is the cure-all for everything to you ladies, am I right? To a woman, "just dance" makes perfect sense. A woman says to her friend, "Oh, I'm so sad today...my boyfriend broke up with me, I hate my job, I'm behind in my rent..." and her friend says, "It's OK Sally...just dance!" And she does. Sally goes out and dances and life is wonderful again. That doesn't work for men. You're never sitting at the bar with your buddies, talking about how bad things are and one chugs his beer, leans over and says, "You know what we need to do tonight? We just need to dance!"

But seriously, that Lady Gaga...if she shows up at another Mets game with her vuvuzela hanging out, I think all the fans should get a chance to poke her face. Right? Whatever happens, she better stay away from MY BOX! Why should she get to go to a box? It isn't her box. It's my box! She doesn't belong in my box. Keep her outta MY BOX! No! No box!

(I love you, Jerry. The above nonsense is a shining example of why you're you and I'm me. )

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Eye Boogers

Like the goop that's always accumulating in the corners of our eyes, the following items are curiously fascinating:

Betty White Should Have Played Blanche* - According to ZackTaylor.ca, someone found a box left behind at Betty White's old house, which contained four photos of Betty "engaging in sexual activities" with her then-husband Allen Ludden (who died nearly 30 years ago). It's not really that shocking to discover that a married couple took pictures of their sexy times, but I'm still not sure this story is 100% true. The timing is suspicious. Betty has a career resurgence and all of a sudden there are sex pics of her? I think this is just another case of the gossip mongers trying to create a story on a slow news day. But maybe Betty is finally learning to play the new Hollywood game and SHE made up the story to get some publicity for her new show, Hot in Cleveland?

The Price Bitch is Wrong* - How does Shannon Price live with herself? How do other people let her live? Gary Coleman's ex is...well, she's all kinds of effed up. A lot of people think that she probably pushed Gary or somehow caused the fall that eventually killed him. And her crazy actions after Gary's death certainly don't help to sway that public opinion. She's been considering giving a tour of the home she shared with Gary, including (of course) a stop at the spot where he took his fatal fall. Then the psycho sold pictures of Gary in a coma on his deathbed, including one in which she was posing next to him, like she was at the Grand Canyon or something. She still has the one photo she took of him after he was dead, and I guess she's saving that one for a much higher bidder. Now it's come to light that, even though Shannon backed up her decision to quickly pull the plug by claiming that Gary didn't want to be kept alive artificially, he actually wrote a healthcare directive back in 2006 that stated he desired "15 days of life support" if he were ever in this type of situation. And it was reported today that Gary had filed a restraining order against Shannon just months before his death. So, if that's the case, how has this broad been allowed to take over Gary's estate??

Miley Cyrus Is Not Trying To Be Slutty, Swearsies - A week ago, Miley Cyrus said, "I'm not trying to be slutty...What I'm trying to do is to make a point with my record..." And then she started showing up on stage everywhere, thrusting her cameltoe into anyone's face who wasn't lucky enough to be blind. So, apparently, the point to her record is: I have an underage vajeen and it can't be tamed. Then, Perez Hilton got into a bunch of trouble for posting an upskirt shot of Miley in which she was supposedly wearing no underwear. The media flew into an uproar over this because, unlike other crotch-flashing celebutards like Paris and Lindsay, Miley is underage and thus the picture was officially kiddie porn. Yet that didn't stop Reuters from publishing a pic of Miley from Canada's Much Music Awards that showed a little too much poonteen, all thanks to a not-trying-to-be-slutty, ill-fitting bodysuit. Reuters claims that there's a difference between them showing 17-year-old vadge and Perez showing it. Something like, "Ehhh, everyone's seen it already, so let us make some cash off it, OK?" Sure, Reuters. Have at it. If Miley's parents don't care where their kid puts her vagynus, then why should we?

American Idol Promises To Get Worse - Simon Cowell never liked singing children, so as soon as he left AI, the producers lowered its minimum age requirement to 15. This means that Season 10 can be expected to feature more bum notes, meltdowns and temper tantrums, more horrible stage parents (I'm sure Dadchuleta was just the tip of the iceberg), even more limited song selection and even more condescension and "sweeties" from Kara. Of course, the biggest change will be that the 16-year-olds will no longer have a special place in Randy's heart, as he will now turn his attention toward all the younger ones to bellow, "DUDE, YOU'RE ONLY 15! WHAT? YO! 15!!!!"

Toy Story 3 Is Great - I saw it on Saturday and loved it. It may not have surpassed #2 (my favorite installment of the series), but it's wonderful. The third installement's plot is a very touching tale about friendship and the passage of time. Actually, it's really just about life and how we all have to adjust to its changes. And yes, like Owen Gleiberman says in the linked story, it's perfectly OK to cry. Even you men. In fact, if this movie doesn't make you tear up (especially the ending), you may be more inanimate than any of the movie's toy stars.

*Meta eye-boogers: Links to stories I've already written about elsewhere!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Have A Groovy Day, Daddy-Os


Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there!

In honor of this occasion, why not check out my Starpulse list of Top 10 TV Dads? You know it's the right thing to do. Don't disappoint Mr. Brady. Click. Read. Comment. Then wash up for dinner.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

The Pop Eye Is Five!

It was five years ago today (that's about 75 in blog years) that I thought to myself, "Hmmm, maybe other people out there would be interested in my nonsensical ramblings about unimportant shit." And I was right! For the most part, anyway.

I'm thinking that this blog will either be around at least five more years or I'll just decide to go out in a blaze of glory in about five days. Like it or not, I think the former is probably more likely. I'm too afraid that, on the day after I end my blog, something awesome will happen. Like, I don't know, all the ghosts of great musicians past return to Earth and rip Miley Cyrus, Ke$ha and The Biebs apart, Hellraiser style. And I just couldn't chance missing an opportunity to comment on that action.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Again, I Suck. But Sometimes Blogging Blows.

Yes, yes, I know it's been four days since I've blogged anything. And it's not like celebutards aren't doing anything noteworthy. They are. I mean, Paris and Britney have passed the torch to Miley Cyrus, who is flashing her vuvuzela around town. But I've just been busy. Or "tired and uninspired" as I said last time. Or, if I'm being honest, I'm being just plain lazy. I hope you'll stick with me though, because tomorrow is actually a big day for The Pop Eye. (Tease)

Another reason I haven't written anything this week is because my BFF is visiting. She came in to town last night and will be here until tomorrow. I'm off work today but only have a brief moment to check in with you folks before she gets back from a quick lunch with another friend. We are going to see Kip Winger and Reb Beach tonight at Pittsburgh's Hard Rock Cafe. And that's really the MAIN reason I haven't been blogging. I've been in a very Zen-ish lotus position since Sunday. It takes a lot of meditation to prepare myself for the wall of head and chest hair I expect to encounter this evening. Wish me well. Ohm, muthahumpas.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Forgotten Classic Video of the Week

Like last week, this week's vid was inspired by an older gem I heard over Memorial Day weekend on SIRIUS, which was installed in my rental car. But unlike last week, I hadn't forgotten this one at all—in fact, I've always quite liked it and think it's a shame that it's often overlooked in favor of some of David Lee Roth's other, bouncier hits like "Yankee Rose," "Just Like Paradise," and "A Lil' Ain't Enough." Y'all look like you could use some "Sensible Shoes." Enjoy.

Friday, June 11, 2010

I Suck. But These People Suck Harder.

So, yeah...I suck. I haven't blogged since Tuesday. And that was just an update of the Caption Contest post, so I actually haven't really blogged since Sunday. Sorry folks, I've just been tired and uninspired of late. But I finally saw a story that really got my dander up, and even caused me to use the phrase "got my dander up," the meaning of which I'm not sure I fully understand.

Remember, kids: dirty, anonymous sex is the only cure for buyer's remorse!Gawker reported that American Apparel (the retailer that sells third-rate versions of dance-friendly clothes from the '80s—a decade that most of its store employees never experienced) has a very strict policy about hiring unattractive people. The policy is something like, "Eeew. Ugly people suck. Don't hire them."

Obviously, there's a whole "Who decides what is beautiful?" issue in here, but I'm not gonna get up on that particular high horse right now. Why waste such a philosophical argument on vapid idiots like this?

Apparently, AA also has a strict policy against hiring people with good and/or or any discernible personalities. I'm assuming this based on my very few experiences in their stores. It seems the worse the attitude or the more brain dead a person is, the better chance he or she has of getting hired. And if any employee spends most of his or her day not working, but talking loudly to other employees or to friends on an iPhone about the latest indie music darlings, he or she will soon be promoted to management if not a manager already.

CEO Dov Charney has claimed that he's not against hiring fugs, but that he just wants to make sure that his employees have "good fashion sense." Really? He's the CEO, so he knows the kind of crap his company sells, right? He knows that every store looks like a Fame extra's dressing room, right after a 10-cent hooker threw up all over it, right?

The fashion police DO exist!Seriously, why does AA bother with its annoyingly long and detailed process for how managers should submit applications—er, pictorials—to corporate? Couldn't they just recruit people directly from Look at This Fucking Hipster and save everyone a lot of time? Look, here are a couple of perfect managers-in-training. And here is a treasure trove of new interns who are probably willing to work for headbands and thigh-high tube socks. These two? Regional managers. This chick? HR Director. This guy? Make him VP of Something immediately.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Caption Crotch-test Contest #35

"Now stay just like that, baby, so Mr. Rockwell can finish his painting of us."


And there is this month's winning caption, provided by the whimsical Flannery Alden. There were quite a few funny entries this time around, but this one really cracked me up. I mean, can't you just picture a sketch of this lovely scene on the Saturday Evening Post? Or a giant popcorn tin? I can. Obviously, so can Flannery. And it's amazing that she can see anything through all the smoke coming from her crotch fire. So, brava, miss.

And now, those who finished second, third and fourth breast best:

Baby Daisy is obviously cuckoo for Coco's nuts. - Skyler's Dad

"In the unlikely event of a water landing, your lunch bags can be used as flotation devices." - Gwen

"Bitch please, even I can tell these aren't real." - Soda and Candy

Sunday, June 06, 2010

Sonic Sunday: Pure Pleasure, No Guilt

Could this album cover be more awesome??Little Ms. Blogger recently posted a question, asking her readers what their favorite guilty pleasures were. This, of course, reminded me of how much I loathe the term "guilty pleasures," because I think it's ridiculous to feel guilty about enjoying something. (OK, unless what you "enjoy" is skinning people alive, but let's not be ridiculous. You know what I'm talking about.) I love Xanadu. I can't get enough of garbage TV. I saw the Backstreet Boys in concert, and they were awesome.

Backstreet Boys aside, I would guess that the one artist most of the cool kids would think I should feel guilty about loving is Jim Steinman. I've waxed poetic about him before, but I think it's well past time he gets his very own Sonic Sunday. I'm well aware that Steinman's brand of ultra-dramatic, metaphor-laden, operatic rock is pure cheese, but I don't feel the least bit guilty about gorging on its deliciousness.

1. "You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth (Hot Summer Night)," Meat Loaf (1977)
It was a hot summer night and the beach was burning/There was a fog crawling over the sand/When I listen to your heart I hear the whole world turning/I see the shooting stars/Falling through your trembling hands/You were licking your lips and your lipstick shining/I was dying just to ask for a taste/We were lying together in a silver lining/By the light of the moon/You know there's not another moment/Not another moment/Not another moment to waste

2. "Dead Ringer For Love," Meat Loaf (Feat. Cher) (1981)
Rock 'n roll and brew, rock 'n roll and brew/They don't mean a thing when I compare 'em next to you/Rock 'n roll and brew, rock 'n roll and brew/I know that you and I we got better things to do/I don't know who you are or what you do/Or where you go when you're not around/I don't know anything about you baby, but you're everything I'm dreaming of/I don't know who you are, but you're a real dead ringer for love/A real dead ringer for love

3. "Lost Boys And Golden Girls," Jim Steinman (1981)
Lost boys and golden girls/Down on the corner and all around the world/Lost boys and golden girls/Down on the corner and all around, all around the world/It doesn't matter where they're going, or wherever they've been/'Cause they got one thing in common it's true/They'll never let a night like tonight go to waste/And let me tell you something, neither will you/Neither will you

4. "Total Eclipse Of The Heart," Bonnie Tyler (1983)
And I need you now tonight/And I need you more than ever/And if you'll only hold me tight/We'll be holding on forever/And we'll only be making it right/'Cause we'll never be wrong together/We can take it to the end of the line/Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time/I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark/We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks/I really need you tonight/Forever's gonna start tonight/Forever's gonna start tonight

5. "Making Love Out Of Nothing At All," Air Supply (1983)
I can make the runner stumble/I can make the final block/And I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle/I can make all the stadiums ROCK/I can make tonight forever/Or I can make it disappear by the dawn/And I can make you every promise that has ever been made/I can make all your demons be gone/But I'm never gonna make it without you/Do you really want to see me crawl/And I'm never gonna make it like you do/Making love out of nothing at all

6. "Read 'Em And Weep," Barry Manilow (1983)
Well, I could tell you "goodbye" or maybe "See you around"/With just a touch of a sarcastic "thanks"/We started out with a bang and at the top of the world/Now the guns are exhausted and the bullets are blanks/And everything's blank/If I could only find the words then I would write it all down/If I could only find a voice I would speak/Oh, it's there in my eyes/Oh, can't you see me tonight/Come on and look at me and read 'em and weep

7. "Nowhere Fast," Fire Inc. (1984)
You and me we're goin' nowhere slowly/And we've gotta get away from the past/There's nothin' wrong with goin' nowhere, baby/But we should be goin' nowhere fast/Everybody's goin' nowhere slowly/They're only fighting for the chance to be last/There's nothin' wrong with goin' nowhere, baby/But we should be goin' nowhere fast/It's so much better goin' nowhere fast

8. "Rock 'N' Roll Dreams Come Through," Meatloaf (1993)
You can't run away forever/But there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start/You want to shut out the night/You want to shut down the sun/You want to shut away the pieces of a broken heart/Think of how we'd lay down together/We'd be listening to the radio so loud and so strong/Every golden nugget coming like a gift of the gods/Someone must have blessed us when he gave us those songs

9. "Original Sin," Taylor Dayne (1994)
I've been looking for an original sin/One with a twist and a bit of a spin/And since I've done all of the old ones/'Til they've all been done in/Now I'm just looking and I'm gone with the wind/Endlessly searching for an original sin/I'm applying for a license to thrill/Going out on the edge, moving in for the kill/And there'll be hell to pay someday/Put it all on the bill/'Cause we'll always be paying and paying until/We're beyond expiration with a license to thrill

10. "It's All Coming Back To Me Now," Celine Dion (1996)
There were nights when the wind was so cold/That my body froze in bed/If I just listened to it right outside the window/There were days when the sun was so cruel/That all the tears turned to dust/And I just knew my eyes were drying up forever/I finished crying in the instant that you left/And I can't remember where or when or how/And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

Remember, people: Like what you like and make no excuses for it. Don't care about being cool. Don't let the hipsters win.

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Forgotten Classic Video of the Week

I went to visit my BFF in Harrisburg over Memorial Day weekend, and my rental car had SIRIUS Satellite Radio in it. Although I quite enjoyed the '80s and New Wave stations, I spent most of the time rockin' out to Hair Nation. And that's the station that gave me this week's vid because, when the DJ announced that he was playing Quiet Riot's "The Wild and the Young," I immediately thought, "hmmm, I don't think I know that one," but it only took me two seconds to realize that not only did I remember it, but also hadn't forgotten a word after all these years of the song collecting dust in a dark corner of my memory banks. The volume went up, my singing was bad, and I may have even pumped a fist once or twice.

I couldn't remember the video until checking it out today, but now I definitely remember seeing this on MTV all the time. Any video that features Wink Martindale is a winner in my eyes.



And hey, wild, young people, don't forget to enter this month's caption contest! It's boobtastic!

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine