It's Always Sunny on Seinfeld

As you all probably know by now, I have a very obsessive personality. I tend to fixate on certain things for medium-length bursts of time, finally neglecting my worn-out toys when shiny new ones come along and take their place. (Don't hate me, Michael Johns.)

If you've been paying attention, you probably already know that my newest obsession is the TV show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - oddly enough, a show that I practically had to be forced to watch because I had some crazy preconceived notion that it was just another crappy Seinfeld and/or Friends ripoff. It only took about 3 minutes in to the very first episode for me to realize how terribly wrong I was. And now I'm making it up to the show by watching it constantly (on FX, Hulu, DVDs, etc.) and blathering on about it to anyone who will listen.

Recently, I made the bold decision that it is the funniest sitcom ever. Yes, even funnier than Seinfeld. However, as soon as I made that decision, I felt uncomfortable about it because Seinfeld is probably much more clever. Sunny really does rely on R-rated crude humor and absurdity, whereas Seinfeld was all about funny PG-13 observations. For instance, I imagine that if Sunny had an episode like Seinfeld's "The Contest," there would be no "master of your domain" euphemisms. After all, they showed a bum jerking off in an alley in a recent episode. Of course, they didn't show "it," but the scene was so lacking in subtlety that they may as well have. So, on one hand, I have to give it to a show like Seinfeld for being able to hilariously tiptoe around such a raunchy topic. But, on the other hand, the characters on Sunny are more like real people in the way they speak and react, and their total lack of couth or a PC-filter makes them instantly relatable. Does that make them funnier? Uhhhh...I think so. But I'm not sure.

Since I'm still debating with myself over this subject, I figured I would talk to you, dear readers, about it, rather than just hashing it out with the voices in my head. All opinions are welcome.

Like any good obsession, this may be needlessly drawn out and complicated. I had been planning to pit the two shows against each other in a season-by-season smackdown, hoping that it would help me figure out which is the more consistently funny. However, like most of the grandiose blogging ideas I've conjured up when I should be working, that detailed comparison may never actually materialize. Either way, I thought I'd start small, by taking a look at how the respective casts measure up.

According to a recent episode of Sunny, every great gang is made up of three distinct types - the looks, the brains, and the wild card. Then, there is usually a useless chick, a nutjob, and some whipping boys and/or girls. I'll use those categories to start comparing.

	Seinfeld	Sunny
The Looks	Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld) Now, Jerry isn't exactly a stud, but since he is the "leading man" of the show, this is really the only category in which he fits. (Plus, the guy did get laid a lot.) Like most guys who fall into this category, Jerry's very self-centered, extremely picky about women, and fairly insensitive. But with that standard-issue, high-pitched, stand-up comedian delivery, he manages to make even the rudest things sound funny.	Dennis Reynolds (Glenn Howerton) Dennis is a total dick. There's really no other way to say it. He's incredibly lazy, but his vanity has him convinced that he can cruise through life on the strength of his "Kennedy hair" and a body that was "sculpted to the proportions of Michelangelo's David." He's known to pop his shirt off at the most inopportune times.
Winner:	While Dennis is the better-looking one, and I love him because he's such a dick, he gets edged out here for, well, being such a dick. He's hilarious, but sometimes he just reminds me too much of guys I've known, and then the laughter just turns to bitterness. Jerry may have ended up in jail for being a bad man, but he's Gandhi compared to Dennis. Not that "nicer" equals "funnier," but Jerry Seinfeld is the King of observational humor. I'm certainly not about to dethrone him.
The Brains	George Costanza (Jason Alexander) Again, calling George "the brains" might seem like a stretch, but what he lacks in common sense and book smarts is more than made up for with a brain full of inane ideas that never stop, and a penchant for ill-conceived schemes. Of course, we all know by now that George has a brilliant mind, but his obsession with sex has dumbed him down over the years. The smartest thing he ever did was to "do the opposite" of every impulse he ever had. Not sure why he never stuck with that.	Mac (Rob McElhenny) Mac might be even dumber than George. At least George was smart enough to know that he was always wrong. Mac would never "do the opposite," because he thinks he's totally "bad-ass." Pretty much everyone else knows he's an idiot though. His role as "the brains" came via self-appointment.
Winner:	As much as I love Mac, George is one of the greatest characters in sitcom history. No one has ever portrayed a better mix of self-loathing and self-absorption quite like Jason Alexander in this role.
The Wild Card	Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards) Everyone loves the K-man. He should be the most annoying person on Earth, but his eccentricity is so fascinating that you wish you had a friend like him. When you bust out a Kramerism on someone, rarely do they not know what you're talking about. Try it. Just walk up to a stranger and say, "These pretzels are making me thirsty." Or "Smell my arm." Or just "Giddyup." They'll know. And then they'll probably start a half-hour conversation with you about their favorite Seinfeld episode.	Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day) Charlie is a grungier version of Kramer. Charlie has a job, but lives in complete squalor, while that unemployed schlub, Kramer, is resting comfortably in his Upper East Side apartment. Charlie shares a fold-out couch with Frank (Danny DeVito), eats cat food, and pisses in a bucket so as to avoid the junkies who litter the hallway leading to his shared bathroom. He's also an...um... abortion survivor, and quite possibly an idiot savant. Despite all of this, he manages to remain amazingly upbeat. And while he's just as selfish as the other two guys, Charlie's got a sweet, lovable loser appeal.
Winner:	As much as I enjoy Kramer's antics, this one goes to Charlie, hands down. You know how I mentioned before that George Costanza is one of the greatest sitcom characters ever? Well, Charlie Kelly is on that list too. I don't know where in the hell Charlie Day has been all my life, but I'm glad he's here now. This guy is so funny, I have actually laughed myself near the point of vomiting during some of his scenes. And the fact that he's just about the most adorable thing on two feet is the cherry on top. "Wild card, bitches!!"
The Useless Chick	Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) Elaine is probably best known for her short temper, a habit of pushing people, a fondness for long skirts, and a wall of gorgeous hair. She is definitely a much more realistic "New York woman" than any of those pampered, slutty chicks from Sex and the City. Not to say that Elaine doesn't get around, but she'd probably tell you that most of her trips around the block weren't worth the effort. And her David Puddy is a better representation of the pickings out there than the fabulous Mr. Big or the ridiculously perfect Aidan Shaw.	Sweet Dee Reynolds (Kaitlin Olson) Poor Sweet Dee. She might be the voice of reason or the "conscience" of the group, which is scary considering that she's a horrible person too. But she seems like the one who could most be saved...like if she didn't spend all day drinking at the bar and hanging out with her dick brother, Dennis, she might actually have a decent life. Or maybe I just feel bad for her because the guys are always telling her that she looks like a giant bird.
Winner:	Dee's great, but I've always felt a kinship with Elaine. There is one scene from an old episode where she gets stuck on a really crowded subway train that breaks down and then the power goes out. Her boiling anger as she just stands there gritting her teeth and screaming thoughts inside her head is one of my favorite scenes from any show. Aside from the power outage, I'm pretty sure I've lived that moment more than once.
Others:
The Loud, Fat Guy	Newman (Wayne Knight) Jerry's nemesis (for reasons unknown) who is always showing up to make life difficult.	Frank Reynolds (Danny DeVito) Dennis and Dee's dad, who found out he really isn't their dad, but probably really is Charlie's dad. He always carries a gun (for reasons unknown).
Winner:	Newman's little outbursts get old after a while. I have to go with Frank here. It's Danny DeVito for cripes' sake! And he's got a gun!
The Other Useless Chick	Susan Ross (Heidi Swedberg) George's long-suffering fiancée who paid the ultimate price for George's penny-pinching ways.	The Waitress (Mary Elizabeth Ellis) A coffee shop waitress Charlie is obsessed with, who obsesses over Dennis and sleeps with just about every other guy in Philly but Charlie. No one seems to know her name except Charlie, although he's never actually said it.
Winner:	Susan was never a very interesting character, so this one easily goes to The Waitress. I should probably be mad at Mary Elizabeth Ellis for having Charlie Day any time she wants (they're married off-screen), but she's too damn funny to hate.

So, that's 3 checks for the Seinfeld column and 3 checks for the Sunny column, which means...OH, come on! Dammit! I'm so glad I spent 40 hours writing up this summary (those HTML tables are NOT as easy as they look) to still not find a definitive answer. Great job, me.

Well, whatever. Maybe you fine TV-watching folks can break the tie. But I'm still leaning towards Sunny as my favorite sitcom in the history of history. Maybe it has something to do with scenes like the one below. Thank God for Hulu, because I have watched this episode (The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis) and, specifically, this scene an unhealthy number of times. To set up for anyone who hasn't seen the episode, Dennis, Mac, and Charlie decide to buy a bunch of gasoline so that they can sell it for profit when the prices inevitably rise. This is their attempt to get a bank loan, using their looks, brains, and, uh, wild cardedness.



Of course, Sunny's bar was set with the very first scene from the very first episode, The Gang Gets Racist. This clip shouldn't need much set-up.



And, finally, from Seinfeld, Elaine's aforementioned subway ordeal: