What The Kids Are Watching

Even though I post a forgotten classic video every week, new videos don't get much coverage on this blog. I guess it's because now that I have to go online to see any music videos, they just don't thrill me anymore. It's not like the days when I could just be a mindless drone with the TV tuned to MTV for hours on end. I liked when the videos came to me; it sucks having to go to them. I have other shit to do. Sometimes.

But not tonight—hence, this post! Let's look at some of the latest vids that are inspiring halfwits to leave grammatically horrifying and generally racist and/or homophobic comments all over the Tubes of You. (Click any pic to watch the vid. Sorry, but YouTube is still disabling embedding for a lot of vids and basically being a pain in my ass. But I still love it.)

"California Gurls," Katy Perry - As with every other Katy Perry song, I thought this was incredibly stupid about the first 3-4 times I heard it. Then before I knew what happened, I was waving my arms out the car window like a spaz, singing ridonk lyrics and trying to get my voice all creepily robotic and Auto-Tuney like Katy's. As for the vid, I doubt I'll change my mind about its stupidity anytime soon. Still, it does have its moments. I mean, there's nothing wrong with candy. And I kind of want Katy's blue sequined shorts. (I had a thing for Feist's blue sequined number in "1234" also. So now everyone has an idea of what to get me for Christmas.) And there's nothing wrong with candy. Or Katy. She's still totally hot in that "dumber, trashier, cousin of Zooey Deschanel" way. I can't decide if the whipped cream bra cannon is asinine or awesome. And there's nothing wrong with candy. Did I mention that? Jesus, I'm hungry. Oh, I almost forgot the most important thing. I totally want Snoop Dogg to take me to my 20-year high school reunion. And it should go without saying that he has to wear that cupcake suit.

Winning YouTube comment: "k MY friend thinks that we'll melt your popsicle means if you have a popsicle in your hand(like an actual popsicle) it will melt, i think that i means your penis goes all "ihyiyi" and tingly and me it go 'pop" out 5of your pants. who do you think is right." - MusicChick05

"On Melancholy Hill," Gorillaz - As much as I love Gorillaz music, and as much as I appreciate Jamie Hewlett's artwork, I was never into the whole cartoon image. I, for one, am extremely happy that the band has finally come out from behind the animated characters and are letting people see who they really are. Especially because, as most of you should be aware, Damon Albarn is a god amongst men. Also, I'm just not into comic books. My own brother is a comic book artist and I can't even get into his stuff. Again, I can appreciate the artwork, but the storylines are just not interesting to me. Anyway, LOVE this song but the video...I don't know. I'm lost. (Like, why is there a 3D Noodle and a cartoon Noodle? I guess you have to follow the whole Gorillaz saga to know what the hell is going on.) I do like that manatee though. And the drawings of all (or most of) the Gorillaz guest stars in their submarines, including a non-cupcake suit-wearing Snoop. But why don't Damon and Jamie get to be in a submarine?? I would actually like to see how Jamie draws himself.

Winning YouTube comment: "124 people that disliked this song, probably had some kind of disaster in their childhood." - ahoydori

"Airplanes," B.o.B. (Featuring Hayley Williams) - Hand claps. Aight! Chick singing. Uh...OK. This sounds like a lot of stuff on the radio. But the rap kicks in and it's actually kind of cool. Hey, those Polaroids are coming to life!!! Ah, that takes me back to the good old days of silly '80s video gimmicks. And is that chick wearing yellow eyeshadow? Yeah, the '80s are definitely alive and well. This is kind of a boring video overall, though. It needs more breaking glass and water.

Winning YouTube comment: "I am only responsible for like half a million of the total views." - 1992jarrett

"The Ghost Inside ," Broken Bells - This is one of my favorite songs of the year (so far). Oh, lookie. It's Christina Hendricks. In space, everyone can still see how hot she is. Hmm, what's this now? I sense a message video coming on. If the world continues on as it is, gas really will cost you an arm and a leg! No, no...that's not the message. Maybe it means that in the future, we'll sell anything to get what we want? I don't know. But we'll all be androids, so will we really care? Rod Serling would know the answers to these questions better than Danger Mouse.

Winning YouTube comment(s): "as much as I want to like this, i have to be a stickler for grammar and the misspelling of "Destination" in the beginning of the video hurts me." - scum117
"Well if you think about it, this video is set 100s of years in the future, spellings of words might have changed. I'm sure 100 years ago people probably spelled some things differently." - BBoldtThaMixer


"Somebody to Love," Justin Bieber (Featuring Usher) - Well, first I'd like to say that I'm relieved to find this is not a remake of my favorite Queen song. You know what isn't a relief? The realization that I don't immediately hate this. I mean, I don't have Bieber Fever or anything. The video I could do without because I can't stand looking at this kid's face. And he should really never ever grab his crotch while dancing. Ever. But the song is actually kind of catchy. And I've gotta hand it to the kid for being smart enough to surround himself with a lot of people who are way, way cooler than he is.

Winning YouTube comment: "This song has nothing to do with Asians." - littlekftw

Comments

Soda and Candy said…
Kids these days!

*shakes head*

Your description of Katy Perry is spot on!
Red said…
I hate how much I love that Katy Perry song...and that video. Christ, she's got big cans. Good thing she's a terrible dancer or I'd be super jealous of her.
Heff said…
I suffered through the Katy Perry video for TWO BIG REASONS, but I hated the audio to my very core.
mylittlebecky said…
i love the added youtube comments. still giggling.
Alice said…
argh! i hate that i don't hate that bieber song too! i refuse to listen to it on prinicple though, so that i don't accidentally learn the words and find myself singing along without realizing it.
Farnnay said…
i hate that song by katy perry as well. but gotta admit that it's addicting.
Reprinting the winning YouTube comments is a nice touch. Garsh there are a lot of smrt people on the internetz!
I want no part of any of this new stuff kids are into, but I kind of want to get "into" Katy Perry.
gennifer6 said…
Thank you for pointing out the non-cover of the Queen song straight away, I almost had a stroke for a second there.
100% agree about the Gorillaz. Not much for comics and cartoons, happy to actually "see" a band, though the video/artwork for the Intro to Plastic Beach was spectacular. The island is byootiful.