Friday, April 13, 2012

American Idol 11: The Fake 4/12/12 Results

So, as most of you are aware by now, I was way off on my Bottom 3 predictions. I'm actually kicking myself for not realizing that this is usually around the time during the season that there is some type of "shocking elimination" or some other desperate ratings-grab stunt. In this case, it was putting Joshua, Elise and Jessica in the Bottom 3 and trying to convince everyone that Jessica was actually the lowest vote-getter.

Surely, you're all aware of how staged that was. I mean, come on. OH NOES! BB CHEZ IS IN DANGER! BUT...BUT...SHE'S THE BEST SINGER TO HAVE EVER GRACED THE IDOL STAGE! NO, SCRATCH THAT! THE BEST SINGER TO HAVE EVER GRACED THE EARTH!!! SHE WILL BE SAVED! NO DISCUSSION!! WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO HEAR HER SING FOR HER LIFE!! SHE IS THAT GOOD!!!!! EVERYONE MUST VOTE FOR HER NOW!!!!! WHEN YOU DON'T SPEND ALL OF YOUR PRECIOUS FREE TIME VOTING, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, AMERICA!! I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD OF YOURSELVES!!

Ugh. The judges and producers are doing everything they can to pimp Jessica and make sure she (and not boring white guy #5) wins this thing. I've seen some nonsense on this show before, but I've never seen anything quite as fake as that "shocking" result/automatic save display.

This may very well blow up in the producers' faces though, because viewers don't like to be told who they should vote for. And last night the judges chided America for "getting it wrong" and practically begged everyone to "vote for the BEST," making it clear that they've decided Jessica is the best singer in the competition (and in the WORLD) and, therefore, deserves to win.

The little one-act play didn't do much to paint Jessica as humble or likeable, either. I doubt that her mantra of "I've worked hard my WHOLE life" made anyone with a real job feel bad for or connected to her in any way. I wouldn't say that Jessica is necessarily worthy of our hate, but I don't think she's likeable enough to win a popularity contest (on her own), which is what this show is, despite what The Dawg constantly barks otherwise. But whether this plan backfires or not, I guess the producers can do whatever the hell they want. We never see the vote tallies, so they can (and probably will) certainly orchestrate a Jessica win if that's what they want.

What I find most annoying about the Jessica pimpage is that the judges will say things to her like, "No one sings like you" and "We've never had anyone like you on this stage," when she sounds almost exactly like Jennifer Hudson! And it was even more apparent last night, because J-Hud was one of the musical guests. But no one will mention the similarities because they're trying to paint Jessica as such an original. It's just interesting that the judges weren't nearly as excited about J-Hud's voice during her season. She was even voted off in favor of screechy Fantasia (the ultimate winner), Diana (who?) DeGarmo and Jasmine (again...who?) Trias. Even that ginger ding-dong John Stevens outlasted an eventual OSCAR WINNER. That says pretty much everything you need to know about how much talent actually matters on Idol.


Find more Idol news and recaps at SirLinksaLot.

12 comments:

kcqueen said...

Well, I was waiting for this recap. I knew that in a sea of "OMG! What is America thinking??", your's would be the voice of sanity. What a steaming pile of dog vomit was last nights show about?! I thought I had seen embarrassing moments from our judges before, but this was shameful. SHAMEFUL. So staged, so "finger wagging in your face" ridiculous. Really, Jlo? Did we all get it wrong? Are we all not of your caliber of mistriss of song? Good grief.

I'll tell you what- this "result" had more to do with the hideously biased critique of some of the other contestants Wednesday night than anything else. They were so frickin' rude to Holly, I couldn't believe it. And she was good! I hate these judges. Once, Phillip and Holly are gone, I don't think I'll bother with it. I also think that America might not be done punishing these judges and that Jessica may be sent packing next week too.

Anonymous said...

It is not jessica's fault she sounds like jennifer hudson. What would you have her do, change her voice? And excuse me, saying "that wasn't perfect for me, but you look good" is harsh? It's so heartbreaking you expect hollie to run off and kill herself? What would she have done if it were simon and he said, "no good sweetheart, you just took the grit out of that song and turned it into a funeral dirge?

BeckEye said...

kcqueen - It's pretty bad when I'm the voice of sanity. ;) And I agree about Hollie. I thought she actually seemed less wooden on Wednesday night. It wasn't an outstanding performance, but she was certainly better than Phillip.

Anon - Jesus, I'm not saying it's Jessica's fault that she sounds like J-Hud. But she absolutely does. And it's ridiculous that the judges act like they've NEVER HEARD A VOICE LIKE HERS, when yes they have, she was a contestant, and she got booted early. I'm only taking issue with the way they make her out to be so one-of-a-kind. They love to compare all of the contestants to other artists, but they treat her as if she's such a unique talent.

I assume your comments about Hollie are directed at kcqueen. I wouldn't necessarily say the judges were rude to her, but they definitely gave her the "you're the one we want gone" critique, as they do every time they try to clear the field for their favorites to advance.

Anonymous said...

DUROMANS...ever hear of it?
They've heard of you.
And they have heard of LANERMAT and the ZNDEN.
They also heard of TZINGST and MMILAYST along with BLECO.
That would be " BILLIE DOUX" now?
MMNST to ROKST to HARPER.
They got a FUSSBALL way out of control with " SIR LANCELOT".

BeckEye said...

Paula? Is that you??

Scope said...

My prediction before the night started was that unless Hollie or Elise got voted off, they would use their save.

And I don't think Hollie was nearly as bad as the judges made her out to be. And going with the "boring white guy" remark, I think the producers want to keep Philip around for the young girl demographic, but will not allow him to actually win.

And "Paula? Is that you?" is the best comment of the SEASON! BECKEYE IS BACK, AMERICA! BECKEYE IS BACK!

DrillerAA09 said...

I'm still trying to get the fishy smell out of my television. Having the judges run up on the stage, grab the microphone, and circle the wagons around "The Chosen One" was a bit much.
It was bad enough that the producers chose to re-enact their annual top seven skit, by forming two groups on the stage and ask the seventh contestant to pick a group to join. We've only seen that nine times in eleven years.
Maybe now, we can get on with the show.

BeckEye said...

Scope - What can I say? I GOTTA HAVE IT!!

DrillerAA - Yeah that "which group is safe" bit is about as old as Steven Tyler.

Lisa said...

Does anybody remember the part where Jimmy & Akon joked about "borrowing" Jessica? I knew right then that she was on her way out regardless of the real vote. The guys who can really make her a star don't want her tangled up as the AI winner.

John said...

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The most glamorous one i have read today!




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tennysoneehemingway said...

Love you, love you, love you. And that's all I can say. We've just started our own The Voice over here and, despite myself, I've actually been watching it. It's not bad. I think you're rubbing off on me.

Dave said...

I think the votes really do count when it comes to the finale; if they didn't David Archuleta and Katharine McPhee would have won, and Taylor Hicks and David Cook would not.

However, I am not so confident about the voting in the rounds leading up to the finale. Idol has ALWAYS been a popularity contest and a ratings grab. It has nothing to do with talent or ability (see Robinson, Anwar and Hudson, Jennifer), and everything about inoffensive popularity (see Allen, Kris and DeWyze, Lee).

The Idol kingmakers want to sell airtime and that has nothing to do with picking the best singers. The only competition out there that matters is Idol vs. Big Bang Theory.

Anyone who believes otherwise is an idiot.

 

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