Tuesday, August 09, 2005

The Lost Art of Direct Marketing

Everyone gets junk e-mail. There's really no getting around it. The best spam filters usually can't keep everything out. But I'm curious about something. People are always going on and on about how the internet is a dangerous place full of trackers and spiders and cookies, oh my! Apparently Big Brother is out there, collecting all kinds of information on you and I. So how is it that the bulk of my junk mail is comprised of ads for great deals on Viagra and tips for enlarging my nonexistent penis? Apparently, to the internet spies, I am a male/she-male or I'm married to or dating a guy who either can't get it up or can't find it.

Recently, I started getting bombarded with emails advertising cheap Rolex watches. (I guess I need one so I know when it's time to take my Viagra.) Now, here's the interesting part. Where are these companies or individuals coming up with these bizarro subject lines? Here is a sampling of actual email headers I've received in the past week:

Be fix to sharpshooter
But fly my rectangular forbad
To teach by emperor stubby
To roman with true nine
On sit or thickener counterclockwise
As can is microbe overstay
Is talk be homogenous rice

What?? Are these subject lines supposed to mean something? The best part is that they always start with Re:, as in Re: Be fix to sharpshooter. Do they really expect us to believe that their email is in any way related to any email correspondence that we've initiated?? Is that supposed to fool us into opening this crap?

I used to wish this damn junk mail would stop, but I've actually become amused by those subject lines. I almost look forward to them now.


Bailey said...

I think it's funny how up in arms people get about spam e-mail, but don't seem to mind the spam snail mail.
Seems like the real mail is much closer to you than your e-mail.

Chalicechick said...

The point of the weird emails is that they don't read like ads. Making spam filters that actually get rid of that stuff means making spam filters that will also kick a bunch of real stuff, which will make people not want to have spam filters.


Sangroncito said...

I'm feeling rejected because I don't get any spam e-mail. What am I doing wrong?

Anonymous said...

the re: is just the latest trick that is getting past the ISP filters, I get tons of them now too..they figure most people won't block re:

Edge said...

I used to keep the junk email and print it because of the Subject lines. There were some really funny ones.



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