Friday, September 09, 2005

Oops, I Didn't Do Anything

Since Hurricane Katrina, many celebs have been using their fame and wealth to draw even more attention to the disaster. Many take part in public benefits, some quietly donate money and Jeff Spicoli is out there trying to round up people in a boat. (Sure, I make fun of Penn because he is a weird guy but I can't say that he doesn't care.) The beautiful people often come to the rescue in times like these because, quite simply, they can afford it. And regardless of whether they're lending a helping hand because they are genuinely concerned or to get some publicity, if they're doing something, that's fantastic.

I've seen several stories on the web about stars doing their part for the relief effort.

Oprah visited the ravaged South, lending hurricane victims an ear or a shoulder to cry on. She brought along big-time friends like John "Love of my Life" Travolta and Faith Hill to lend support and pass out food and drink.

A vast array of musicians and other entertainers appeared on tonight's Katrina benefit, Shelter From the Storm. The program aired on every major network in the US as well as close to 100 other countries around the world.

Many celebs, such as Ellen DeGeneres and Hilary Duff donated large sums of money. Duff will also join up with Hank Azaria, Jennifer Tilly, Jeremy "My #3 Man" Sisto and many others in's celebrity poker tournament. Top players will compete for $100,000 which will be donated to the Red Cross.

The list goes on and on. So many stars finding ways to give. I know I like to pick on them (and I would probably have nothing to write about if I didn't) but it really is wonderful to see people aware of all that they have who are willing to give back to people in need. I've never necessarily felt that celebrities are required to be charitable, but in a situation like this it's pretty damn pathetic if they can't at least dig into those deep pockets and give what, to them, would be spare change. And this is where the title of my post comes in.

I was reading most of these stories on the Comcast home page. Underneath all of the headlines announcing Hollywood's fund-raising activities was this one: "Britney Spears Praying For Victims". I thought there must be more to it than that. After reading the article, there isn't. Here is the exact story from the Associated Press:

Britney Spears, who was raised in Kentwood, La., says she is praying for the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

In a posting on her Web site, the 23-year-old pop star writes that her "thoughts and prayers go out to everyone" in the states along the devastated Gulf Coast.

"All of my family members there are safe and thank you to all my fans for your concern," says Spears.

I have yet to see any reports of this LOUISIANA NATIVE donating so much as a pack of gum to the Red Cross or any other organization. Praying is great, but when you have more money than God, you might want to think about writing out a check. And I'm not really sure any of her prayers count ever since that little deal she made with the Devil a few years back.

I did a little more digging and the next horrifying tidbit of news was all I could come up with regarding her "charitable work". An article on reveals that Spears may tape and televise the birth of her baby, donating all profits to the hurricane victims. Offers have been pouring in for the tape, which have topped out at a whopping $9 million.

Now I must quote myself here. I said earlier, "...regardless of whether they're lending a helping hand because they are genuinely concerned or to get some publicity, if they're doing something, that's fantastic". After reading this story though, I may have to amend that. Ms. Spears, please. You have more publicity than any one person knows what to do with. Just give the damn money and save us all the disgusting spectacle of those carefully scripted first moments between Mama and baby.

I'm starting to wonder when relief efforts will be set up to benefit the victims of Hurricane Britney. The state of music suffered a critical blow when she (and later, all her little bland- er blond -followers) came along. The damage still hasn't been repaired. We need some good old-fashioned ugly rockers to pull us out of this sea of no-talent T&A. The good looking ones can help too, as long as their music is genuine. Eddie Vedder and Chris Cornell, I'm talking to you. You guys can rescue me any day.

**Post-script: I feel slightly fraudulent, so I must confess. I like "Baby One More Time". And "You Drive Me Crazy". Ok, and "Stronger". Dammit, all right..."Toxic" too!! What can I do? She made a freakin' deal with Lucifer, people! Remember? You can't fight that. I don't own any of her records though. I would never spend any of my hard-earned cash to support her over-exposed ass, Devil or no Devil.


BadGod said...

I gotta say it.............

A part of me really wants to see her give birth........

I should not say anymore....I feel so dirty.

Mr. Happy said...

I don't own any of Britney's cd's either ......... except for "Baby one more time" ...... "In The Zone" & "Oops I did it again" but that's absolutely all.

Goan Pao said...

Britney Yucks...Her giving birth..yuckety yucks...though it may not be the best comparison..the sight of katrina itself would not be as horrifying as britney delivering the Damien....
I love rock and Roll not this crappy music from buttany or Jessicka or Assguilera called sell your soul..makes me sick..
god bless sean penn and the other stars who are trying to do something could be selfish but it is the giving that counts ...

Johnny Wadd said...

Pay per view birth? OMG i wanted to see her naked, but not like that.

The Everglades said...

You totally dominated Brit's balls. Congrats. I loved it.

And I too am a lover of Toxic.


(Did you write John "love of my life" Travolta to spite me?)

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

Wouldn't it be great if during the labor, in all her pain, before the meds kicked in, she revealed all her soul-selling details in grunts and agony as she pushed? That might be cool.

Next thing you'll know, she'll be auctioning off the afterbirth on eBay.

Sangroncito said...

I imagine that Brittany has been spending some time on her knees, but not in prayer.....(bad Sangroncito, bad).

Brooks said...

britney proves that you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but not the trailer park out of the girl.

julia roberts was here in birmingham on wednesday. she has given big money, and wouldn't let the press near her, she didn't even want it publicized. she spent time talking to mothers of small children and it really seemed pretty legit and humble.

she's just julie from the block (of smyrna, georgia)

JC said...

Yep, this is one of those times when I wish that I was rich and famous. I would give money, but I would have wanted to be in a boat too. It was so hard watching and feeling like you couldn't really dooo anything!

Teri said...

Ugh. Britney Spears. Creepy. Ugh. (and selfish, shallow and mean-spirited too)

The Zombie Lama said...

Britney Spears is a low-life skank who should never have reached "stardom".

m00nsh1ne said...

Chris Cornell......mmmmmm....yummy!
I read the article where all these celebs were giving X amount of money and Spears at the end was "praying" and I thought, "WTF???" Maybe she really is going broke because of that loser she married!

Johnny Retail said...

Jeff Spicoli- "Britney thinks she is totally AWESOME. Nah ha, All I need are some tasty waves... and I'm fine. Way to go Hamilton! ".

An80sNut said...

I'd be a bigger fan of any of those that went to help if they didn't bring a cameraman, director, gaffer and gopher with them. Right now that kid that drove the school bus is my hero of Katrina.


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