Thursday, October 20, 2005

A Halloween Song For All You Ghouls and Guys

I absolutely love Halloween. It's my third favorite holiday, behind St. Patrick's Day and Christmas. Drinking, giving gifts of love and monsters...I guess those are my interests. Not sure what that says about me. Anyway, I had planned to start making daily Halloween-related posts until the 31st, much like the Family Channel's "13 Days of Halloween". However, I'm a day late. I realized that if I started today, it would only really be 12 days. My idea was ruined, but then it gave me a new one. Boredom and useless creativity came together and inspired me to write a Halloween song based on "The Twelve Days of Christmas". This will either be really funny or really stupid. Or, in the tradition of many classic horror B-movies, it will be both. Enjoy.

The Twelve Days of Halloween
(sung to the tune of...oh, you know)

On the first day of Halloween my true love gave to me
A psycho and his mommy











On the second day of Halloween my true love gave to me
Two creepy girls and
a psycho and his mommy











On the third day of Halloween my true love gave to me
Three severed heads
Two creepy girls and
a psycho and his mommy











On the fourth day of Halloween my true love gave to me
Four crawling bugs
Three severed heads
Two creepy girls and
a psycho and his mommy











On the fifth day of Halloween my true love gave to me
Five swamp things
Four crawling bugs
Three severed heads
Two creepy girls and
a psycho and his mommy











On the sixth day of Halloween my true love gave to me
Six werewolves baying
Five swamp things
Four crawling bugs
Three severed heads
Two creepy girls and
a psycho and his mommy











On the seventh day of Halloween my true love gave to me
Seven cauldrons brimming
Six werewolves baying
Five swamp things
Four crawling bugs
Three severed heads
Two creepy girls and
a psycho and his mommy











On the eighth day of Halloween my true love gave to me
Eight mummies moaning
Seven cauldrons brimming
Six werewolves baying
Five swamp things
Four crawling bugs
Three severed heads
Two creepy girls and
a psycho and his mommy











On the ninth day of Halloween my true love gave to me
Nine demons chanting
Eight mummies moaning
Seven cauldrons brimming
Six werewolves baying
Five swamp things
Four crawling bugs
Three severed heads
Two creepy girls and
a psycho and his mommy











On the tenth day of Halloween my true love gave to me
Ten corpses creeping
Nine demons chanting
Eight mummies moaning
Seven cauldrons brimming
Six werewolves baying
Five swamp things
Four crawling bugs
Three severed heads
Two creepy girls and
a psycho and his mommy










On the eleventh day of Halloween my true love gave to me
Eleven vampires biting
Ten corpses creeping
Nine demons chanting
Eight mummies moaning
Seven cauldrons brimming
Six werewolves baying
Five swamp things
Four crawling bugs
Three severed heads
Two creepy girls and
a psycho and his mommy











On the twelfth day of Halloween my true love gave to me
Twelve witches dancing
Eleven vampires biting
Ten corpses creeping
Nine demons chanting
Eight mummies moaning
Seven cauldrons brimming
Six werewolves baying
Five swamp things
Four crawling bugs
Three severed heads
Two creepy girls and
a psycho and his mommy












I'm going straight to hell for writing this piece of crap!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are one funny beeyatch! I love it.

Angela :)

Heather said...

That is freakin' hilarious!! You should have it recorded.

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

Oh oh oh! That was great! Are you going to rewrite all the Christmas songs for Halloween? How fun!

Halloween is my favorite holiday and I've always felt like it deserved some good, catchy songs. All these years, Halloween has waited for you to be inspired enough to re-pen some classics and honor it with the songs it so deserves.

If you're going straight to hell for that, I'm way ahead of you... so you'll have company.

The Everglades said...

Going for 12 is way better than the 13 the network is doing. Plus, a dozen days inspired this amazing cover of the Xmas one. I totally dig it!

And I love Halloween just because I am such a cand fiend. God, I f'ing love candy.

Blake

jomilkman said...

this is good crap. thanks for the laugh

Alice said...

argh! i can't get the photos to load! but i love the song even without visuals :-D

cmhl said...

that was absolutely awesome..... fabulous.. I salute you.

 

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