Sunday, November 06, 2005

Hangman, Hangman Hold it a Little While (Gallo's Pole)

Vincent Gallo has done what many of us had previously thought was impossible. He has surpassed Crispin Glover as the biggest freak in Hollywood.

A lot of people thought Gallo went over the edge with his movie, Brown Bunny, which was, from what I heard, porn with a dumber plot. However, if his website is to be believed, the guy has just hopped the night train to Crazy Town.

Among the many other items he has listed for sale on the site, he is offering up his sperm for $1 million a pop to prospective mothers wishing to be impregnated via in vitro fertilization. The ad also mentions that if the buyer would like Gallo to deposit the sperm the old-fashioned way, he will do so for an extra $500,000 unless he finds the subject to be hot enough to warrant a, um, free ride.

The post goes on to describe Gallo's "size", and the other physical and mental characteristics that he feels are desirable traits to pass on to a child. He doesn't bother to mention that he looks like a wild-eyed, hitchhiking serial killer and that he is, essentially, an egotistical nutbag. But I assume that anyone enamored enough of this dude to make such a purchase already knows what he's all about, and is looking forward to bringing another weirdo into this already overfilled, freakish world of ours.

I'm guessing that Gallo's latest stunt is just a ploy to get himself back in the spotlight again. But, with this wacko you never know. Even if he started it as a joke, he doesn't seem the type to turn down a million bucks should some poor, misguided woman send him a check in exchange for his "essence".

You may wonder what I would think of all this if John Travolta came up with such an offer. Well, I would completely lose respect for him. At least until I could come up with the money.

19 comments:

Brad said...

His "music" also sucks like very little has ever sucked before.

LoraLoo said...

Okay, after I stopped laughing when I went to this website, I realized he is one sick f*&#. Oh geez, if he breeds...

The Zombie Lama said...

Um...ew? I didn't see the brown bunny, well, other than that "one part" on a website...

One would hope nobody would go for this, but I'm willing to bet this freak has some fans somewhere!
France most likely...

Doggie Extraordinaire's Mom said...

I could be wrong, but I swear someone recommended checking out this sperm sale link earlier in the week, and the price was 10% of what it is now. Is he running a sperm eBay? Highest bidder gets the juice? I would think he couldn't give his genes away. He is living proof that Hollywood isn't comprised only of beautiful people.

Lee Ann said...

He has a large mouth doesn't he?

Heather said...

Dude is a freak!! I'm sure once you get to know him he's very sweet but on paper - freak.

JJ said...

That's too bad. Buffalo 66 was such a great movie. I guess it was all downhill from there.

An80sNut said...

At least he didn't say he'd suck it out of the hose himself. There's worse out there... just not well publicized.

Sangroncito said...

His photo gives me the creeps!

Lavinia said...

He makes music too?

OK, I think whatever woman wants to procreate with him needs to be edged out of the gene pool (along with Gallo).

cmhl said...

ICK!!!! triple ICK!!!!!

you mean, the girl would have to pay HIM?

I find it hard to believe that there are girls lining up for this privilege.

Alice said...

so, i know i grew up under a rock, but.... i have never heard of this guy. or seen him. i feel like that may be a good thing.

pia said...

I have heard of him but I'm with Alice on this one

Mr. Happy said...

Hey at least he's a hunk, right? What woman wouldn't want that DNA to mixing with her egg?

Melissa Ethridge took David Crosby's man stuff so why not him?

Bonanza Jellybean said...

OK, I am officially frightened now. :)

Teri said...

that picture is scary! did I mention that I found that picture scary? Oh, okay, just checking. And the rest of it? It's scary too...

Bar Bar A said...

hmmm....no post in three days. I'm getting withdrawl symptoms.

BadGod said...

He kinda looks like Eddie Vedder.

Writeprocrastinator said...

I thought "Buffalo 66" was okay and that's about all I want to do with Gallo. I did love this exchange and it's still one of my favorites...

"Earlier this week Gallo denied having apologised and claimed the critic was "a fat pig" for saying that he had. He added: "The only thing I'm sorry for is putting a curse of Roger Ebert's colon." Yesterday, in his column for the Chicago Sun Times, Ebert stuck to his guns - quoting the editor of trade magazine Screen International, who says that they have Gallo's apology on tape. On the question of his cursed colon, Ebert said: "I am not too worried. I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than The Brown Bunny." The critic rounded off his article (as it were) by casually conceding that he is overweight. "It is true that I am fat," Ebert wrote. "But one day I shall be thin, and he will still be the director of The Brown Bunny."

http://film.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0,12589,970951,00.html

I didn't bother with "The Brown Bunny" either.

 

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