Thursday, January 12, 2006

Eye Boogers

Like the goop that's always accumulating in the corners of our eyes, the following news items are curiously fascinating:

J. Lo-produced "South Beach"hits UPN - The Yahoo! review linked here is the only one I've read about this new show, but I can pretty much guess that all the other reviews will be variations on the same theme. That theme being: this show sucks. I read the reviewer's criticisms of the inane plot lines, poor character development and so on, but all the pertinent information was in the first paragraph and the cast listing. Executive producer - Jennifer Lopez. Random cast member - Michael Pare. Thanks, that's all I needed to know. Game over. I won't be tuning in. If J.Lo is putting her money behind something, it's bound to be tacky. And Michael Pare...well, let's just say he can only appear in two kinds of productions. The kind that really suck and the kind that suck so hard that they're kind of good. For the latter, see Eddie and the Cruisers and Streets of Fire. For the former, see everything else he's been in, most likely including "South Beach".

Hilary Swank and Chad Lowe Split - Oh no. Another celebrity coupling down the tubes. Well, now there are reports that they're really trying to save their marriage. I think I'll stop holding my breath I haven't really read any of the stories, just the headlines. I mean, really, you've seen one celebrity break-up, you've seen 'em all. I'm sure Hilary asked everyone to respect their privacy during this painful time and Chad just sat there and cried like it was Oscar night.

Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney are Still Friends! - Oh, thank God.

Grammys Finally Give Ziggy his Due - The Whammys will present David Bowie with a Lifetime Achievement Award this year. I don't think his career is over yet, but I let out a big "hell yeah" when I heard this anyway. Cream, Merle Haggard and Richard Pryor will also receive the award.

Brangelina Brat on the Way - Ugh. Ya know, who cares? First of all, is there something in the Evian water that all these celebs are drinking? Everyone is pregnant! And now these two. If Jennifer Aniston turns up pregnant with Vince Vaughn's love child in the next few months, I won't even bat an eye.


Girl Next Door said...

And God is still on his throne! Why do people in Hollywood even get married?

Love these posts!


Teri said...

Talking about Ziggy - when I read the intro I thought "Marley?!?" Then I realized you meant Stardust.

Bar Bar A said...

YES! On the Bowie news!!!! LOVE HIM and no way is his career anywhere near over.

Good to see a post from you, Ms. NYC!

I know your busy but if you have time stop by my blog and let me know your five favorite driving tunes! I'm really curious to see what you'll say :)

Neo said...

Becky -Ha! Pat Robertson is a tool! *huggerz*

And no, Jolies kid is mine!


Writeprocrastinator said...

From the Yahoo review- "Imagine a world where every inhabitant is a hunk or a babe, a world in which there are no children and practically no one gets older than, say, thirtysomething."

Yeah, it's called "Logan's Run."

I heard New Jersey has a new state motto: "Come see for yourself, we got Becka and you don't! Ha-ha, ya New York ****s!"

blair said...

Hey There,

Love your blog! I have recently become addicted to these Gossip Mags. Right now, I have People, Star and US Weekly right next to me! I have read them all cover to cover. I am amazed how they know all this stuff before it happens. They follow celebs around all day. It's crazy, but I'm glad because now I have to know!

I'm not sure why people listen to Pat Robertson? It's hard to understand what he is saying...seems he had his foot in his mouth a lot!

LoraLoo said...

As soon as I read "JLo" in the first paragraph, I was rolling my eyes.

Pat Robertson... that guy is still alive, and people actually still listen to him? LOL!

Glad to hear Bowie's finally gonna get some credit!

Happy Villain said...

My money is on the Brangelina baby being dog-freakin'-ugly. Maybe they'll have a boy with those massive lips and some squinty little eyes or a girl with tiny features and gigantic brown eyes that don't even fit on her little head. The best possible outcome will be twins, a boy and girl, and they'll be smooching incestuously every chance they get. I think it's going to be a genetic disaster. And I can't wait to be right!

Anonymous said...

what, no news on Paris and Nicole? ha

Alice said...

haaaaahaahaa happy villian cracked me up w/the incestuous-jolie-pitt-twins. *snort*

when pat robertson dies, and goes to heaven (as he's certain he will) i hope it's full of gay people having sex all around him.

Masha said...

these posts do such a great job of entertaining me!


Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

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I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

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