Sunday, November 19, 2006

Eye Boogers

Like the goop that's always accumulating in the corners of our eyes, the following news items are curiously fascinating:

TomKat is Officially Off the Prowl - Tom and Katie got married. Oh, thank God. With Britney and K-Fed calling it quits, my faith in true love was starting to deteriorate.

O.J. Simpson Hypothesizes on Committing Homicide - For anyone left on Earth who still believes that Juice is innocent, listen up. There are a few things you should know. Bill Gates isn't giving away $1 million for every email you forward, mixing pop rocks with Coke won't make your stomach explode and The Blair Witch Project was a fictional movie.

Emmitt Smith Wins the Not-so-Savage Ballet - The former Dallas Cowboy beat out D-list cheeseball, Mario Lopez, to win the Dancing with the Stars championship. What did Emmitt get for his blood, sweat and tears? A gaudy, clunky mirror ball trophy! Boy, those three Super Bowl rings must look like gumball machine prizes next to that baby.

Nerds Camp Out for PS3 - Gamers all over this great nation lined the sidewalks for days in front of Best Buys and Circuit Citys, awaiting the arrival of the new Playstation 3. For most of the young men on line, it certainly wasn't the first time they'd pitched a tent over a video game.

Snoop Dogg Goes, Uh, to the Dogs - Snoop is designing his own line of doggie clothing, toys and accessories that will be available to the public in Spring 2007. The products should be especially popular with neutered dogs who still wanna roll like ballers even after they lose their balls.


Lee Ann said...

I am glad Tom and Katie got married.
I am glad Brit and KFed are getting divorced.
I am disgusted with OJ.
I am surprised that Emmitt won.
I am amazed that people camped out for the game.
I have to laugh at Snoop Dogg.

Have a great week!

Masha said...

So now that TomKat are married, when's the divorce happening? hey, apparently, its only a matter of time in hollywood....

Edge said...

Next time they release one of those Playstation things I'm going to march down and buy one. You pay $300 at the store and sell it on ebay for $1500 NO JOKE!!!!


Writeprocrastinator said...

I'm just glad a real world crisis was avoided and Italy didn't declare war over Mr. Couch Jumper staying there.

Teri said...

oh. my. god! As usual, you totally crack me up.

Anonymous said...

I love the OJ rant - couldn't have said it better myself.

That is some crazy trophy for the Dancing with the Stars, eh? I must confess I didn't actually watch it (for shame, what kind of Cowboys fan am I?) but I'm so glad he won.


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