Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Mr. Touchy Tagged Me

Not to be confused with the classic Afterschool Special,"Mr. Taggy Touched Me."

I made an innocent comment on Write Procrastinator's blog that since he didn't tag me on a movie-related meme that I would just answer the questions within his comments section. Somehow, to him, this meant that I was being a crybaby about not being tagged and that now I want to be tagged with every meme under the sun. So, he tagged me. And not just with a nice little 5 question survey...nooooo. This thing is a freaking behemoth. Personally, I think he's just procrastinating again. He's supposed to be writing an 800-word essay on what not to do at a stoplight, but yet he continues to goof off. (He will understand and appreciate that reference, which is why I can't get mad at him. If anyone else gets it, I'll love you too.)

I have a love/hate relationship with these so-called "memes." I kind of enjoy prattling on about myself (obviously we all do, hence the existence and popularity of these things) but since I try to keep my blog on the pop-culture track, the kind that delve into more personal topics tend to derail my train of thought. So, wherever possible I will try to make the answers fit into my blog format, as I did with the last one. This time though, I'll try to avoid so many K-Fedisms. But I'm sure there will be at least one.

And awaaaay we go....

DO YOU SNORE?
Yes. Usually when forced to watch CNN.

ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
I'm in Fight Club and Love Club, and that's all I'm allowed to say about that.

WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR?
That Britney and K-Fed will reunite and celebrate by recording and releasing a cover of "Leather and Lace."

AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
Nice try. I was born a girl. The boobs are real.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF “REALITY” TV?
I've written plenty of posts on the subject. Some of it I detest, but there are plenty of shows that I find horribly addictive. I don't want it to be that way, it just is.

DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
Yes. Supposedly it's a sign of sexual frustration, along with chewing ice and peeling off beer bottle labels, which I also do. Make of that what you will.

WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
You betcha. And I wasn't even created in a lab like some babies I know. Yeah, I'm looking at you, Suri Cruise.

IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
Well, it's the only life I have, so I try to roll with it.

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black. But I suppose black is the absence of color, so I'm not sure how to answer this.

DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Hell yes. Once I started singing a Nickelback song and, luckily, the soap was right there for me to wash my mouth out with.

HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
No, and I can't see myself doing it in the near future.

ANY SECRET TALENTS?
No. If I can do anything remotely well, I don't keep it a secret.

WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Ireland.

CAN YOU SWIM?
Yes, but it's not one of my strong suits. You'll never see me telling my survival story on I Shouldn't Be Alive if I ever get stranded in the middle of the ocean or something.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO?
No, and I just mentioned this in Write Procrastinator's movie meme. It's one of those flicks that everyone has seen and I keep meaning to check it out. I'm tired of people giving me that snooty movie-snob look every time I say I haven't seen it.

DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
Yes, but I'm not giving up my car, hippies!

HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
Who cares? Just don't eat the raspberry ones, because they're mine, bitches.

CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
Well, I just tried to say the alphabet really quickly the other day because for some reason my niece was timing people to see who could do it the fastest. The first time I tried, I said "H" after "V." So, I'm guessing that I could do it backwards with some humorous results.

DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
I can't remember the last time I used a pencil, let alone a sharpener. Why not just get those mechanical pencils that you never have to sharpen? Progress, people!

WHAT’S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I can never remember if it's duck season or wabbit season or fiddler crab season. It's all very confusing.

IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
When I get my time machine working, I'll let you know.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes. When I'm not in a hurry.

WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Giant sunglasses, hipsters and, apparently, New Jersey.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, “I LOVE YOU”?
Ask my giant, inflatable John Travolta doll.

DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
No.

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
In my ovaries.

ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Oooh, I think I've heard this one. What's the punch line?

WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
Rolled up in Justin Timberlake's pants?

WHAT TIME IS IT?
Ok, since the Morris Day and Spin Doctors jokes have already been used, I will say go ask Flavor Flav.

DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
I'm sure I have plenty, I just don't know them. BeckEye was actually a nickname created by my idiot ex-brother-in-law.

IS MCDONALD’S DISGUSTING?
Of course, that's why it's good.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
About an hour and 1/2 ago.

DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Showers.

IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Yes. And it's stupid questions like this that made the Claus-o-meter drop down to zero.

DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Obviously it depends on who's kissing it. Under ideal circumstances, yes.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Only when there are monsters and ghosts hanging around.

WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
What is this? An intervention?

CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
I don't eat it much anymore, but I dig Crunchy Jif.

CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
I'm sure I could, but why would I do that?

HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
They're kind of expensive.

IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
What is this? An intervention?

ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
What is this? An intervention?

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Blue-grey.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
For the most part. Is this a threat or are you offering me something better?

ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
I predicted the break-up of Britney and K-Fed, so what do you think?

HAVE YOU READ CATCHER IN THE RYE?
No. Book snobs, wrinkle your noses now.

DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
I took piano lessons when I was younger and never practiced so now I can't play much of anything. Yes, I regret it.

HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
What's money?

CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
No. Someone was supposed to teach me once in college, but I got bronchitis and couldn't go. The opportunity has never come around again. And I'm a wuss.

DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
Sometimes. I just like the smell of burning wood. But I hate being anywhere where there isn't a shower or at least a sink.

DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
Yeah, it happens enough.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Only the magic in a young girl's heart.

ARE DOGS A MAN’S BEST FRIEND?
This is a sexist question. But anyway, I love dogs and they love me.

YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
I'd certainly choose it above murder.

CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
In socks. On a smooth floor. And then I go play with my Rubik's Cube while watching The Dukes of Hazzard.

DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
If "a lot" means at least once a day, then yes.

IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
It seems unseasonably warm for the end of November.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
An egg McMuffin. Yes, I know that McDonald's is disgusting.

DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
Sometimes, but it's such a production that I usually don't bother.

HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW?
Do you mean like or like like?

WHAT’S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
Either the Head On ones or any of the Kay Jewelers ones.

DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
Well, since I'm not built like a 15 year-old boy, that would be a no.

FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
"Christmas is the Time to Say I Love You," by Billy Squier. It's my favorite holiday tune and I just heard it recently for the first time this season.

WHO ARE YOU TAGGING?
Three people who are sure to be annoyed by the length of this. But here goes:
Arlen, Heather and Martin.

10 comments:

Les Becker said...

"Mr. Touchy Tagged Me" - Please post all your upcoming weird Google search stats pertaining to this post! LOL! Also, I have finished your "other" meme-thing and posted it as per your instructins (well under deadline, I might add...!). I'm enjoying it immensely - now - because I tagged Mark, and I so love to hear him swear...

Anonymous said...

OH Beckeye.. that was so much fun to read...
I have gotten the same reactions on the Donny Darko and Catcher in The Rye things in that i have not seen nor read..and get the "looks"
You are so right on the claus-o-meter thing and your response to "do you believe in magic" brilliant
And finally, i have had to be restrained from throwing things at the TV when those Head On commercials appear

Heather said...

Sure, give me the long one!! I'll do it tomorrow. See if I can fit it in somewhere between the chiropractor, my oil change, the pharmacy and my job. ;P

And just so you know, when I read the "Do you believe in magic" question, the song instantly popped into my head (and now I can't get rid of it!).

An80sNut said...

This is probably your best title so far. B) Anyhow, I'm going to need some time to fit this in but it'll be my first post of the new month. Promise. You do know that I dislike these, right. hahaha

Arlen Crawford said...

Okay, here goes...

DO YOU SNORE?
Only when I hear a Neil Diamond song.

ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
"I may be a lover, but I ain't no dancer" (with apologies to Lennon-McCartney)

WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR?
That my sister will get me a Barry Manilow box set for Christmas.

AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
Hey, real men do Lincoln Logs.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF “REALITY” TV?
I love The Bachelor and Deal Or No Deal. The shows are lousy though.

DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
No, but try this: blow into your straw while pinching the bottom of it and slowly sliding your hands up.

WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
Is the Pope Catholic?

IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
I've never tried a double, so yeah.

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Silver.

DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
I play my Ipod; it's waterproof!

HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
The closest I've ever come is to play Van Halen's Jump.

ANY SECRET TALENTS?
Of coure.

WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Maine.

CAN YOU SWIM?
Like a stone.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO?
My kid was RELENTLESS about me watching it, but I forgot who was in it or what it was about.

DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
Is that like calzone? I love them.

HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
It depends on the flavor.

CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
I never tried, but why would I want to?

DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
I write in pen.

WHAT’S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I think it's unfair. Bambi is just minding her own business and along comes Mr. Telescopic Site, complete with bazooka, deer sounds, decoys, specialized scents, baited fields, camaflouge, and they say THAT'S a sporting chance?

IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
It's been in my past and present for 28 years, so I'd say there is a good chance.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I write like a doctor.

WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Neil Diamond and Barry Manilow.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, “I LOVE YOU”?
To my wife, today.

DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
Only if I'm responsible for the bill.

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Scrambled.

ARE BLONDES DUMB?
Not the ones I know.

WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
In my son's sock drawer.

WHAT TIME IS IT?
Hopefully, the time is almost up with these questions.

DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
Butch

IS MCDONALD’S DISGUSTING?
McYes

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
Just before I started with this survey.

DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Showers. (But the candles don't stay lit very well).

IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Haven't you ever seen Miracle on 34th Steet? (The one with Natalie Wood, not the putrid remake)

DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Absolutely.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
No

WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Pepperrige Farm Double Chocolate Milanos.

CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Skippy Creamy.

CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Last time I did that, I broke it.

HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
No, but I ridden in a police car, does that count for something?

IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Are you offering me free drugs?

ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
Well, some would say I am. After all, I weigh 247.

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Green

DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
Does it sound like I do?

ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
I predicted that Tom Cruise would divorce Nicole Kidman and it eventually happened.

HAVE YOU READ CATCHER IN THE RYE?
No, but I've read Bob Uecker's Catcher in the Wry...does that count?

DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
Alto saxophone, a little piano.

HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
I took a nickel from my sister once.

CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
No.

DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
Sometimes, but only in a Winnebego.

DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
No.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
The John Sebastion kind, or Harry Houdini kind?

ARE DOGS A MAN’S BEST FRIEND?
Most definitely.

YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
It certainly happens enough.

CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
Are you kidding? I'm still trying to figure out the twist.

DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
Check my typing errors in this tag; that'll tell ya.

IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
No.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Quaker Oatmeal.

DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
No, my nails are naturally shiny.

HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW?
Do you mean like or like like?

WHAT’S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
Any commercil for drugs that announces "side effects may be"...they should start with death.

DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
Is that like Wal-Mart?

FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast by Wayne Newton

I'm tagging Layla!

Writeprocrastinator said...

"Mr. Touchy" sez...

Jay Leno needs to sell half of his outrageously expensive car collection, because you could actually make him funny!

BTW, now you're really tagged for life!

BeckEye said...

Les: 90% of searches on my StatCounter are people trying to figure out how to get rid of eye boogers.

Bond: Have you seen the new Head On commercials? They concede that they are annoying but that the product works. Kind of stupid, kind of funny.

Heather: Why go to the chiropractor...did you say you could crack your own neck?

'80s Nut: Yes, the title is fun. So is tagging people who dislike memes. If I have to suffer, so do you.

Arlen: RULES, Mister!! You're supposed to post that on your blog, not in my comments. I see what you're up to. You think by not following the rules, I'll never tag you again. Pretty slick.

WP: I think Jay Leno has already stolen some of my material.

Anonymous said...

okay--have not read the list but the first thing I thought of when seeing "800 word essay on what not to do at a stop light" I just think (and I may be flat out wrong cause I don't have the time to check it mout in my current Christmas tree funk) of Lane Meyer . Yup..I want my two dollars!!!

Anonymous said...

I read it--you said K-Fed twice--um--this IS an intervention!

Turnbaby said...

Hell yesssss--what not to do at a stop light is Lane Meyer and two Japanese guys who learned to speak English listening to Howard Cosell!!!! LMOO
sugar

I beg you--please get rid of word verification ;-)

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine