Friday, March 02, 2007

More Life Lessons, Courtesy of American Idol





Heavy black women who pose naked can never be American Idols, regardless of how talented they are....









Skinny white broads who pose naked will always go far, regardless of how untalented they are.





If only I were a bit skankier, with tighter abs and no qualms about flashing my goods all over the internet, I too could appear on TV singing Celine Dion songs wildly out of tune and have throngs of people loving me for it.

Perhaps it's time to reassess my future career goals.

4 comments:

Travis said...

Evidently if you have those pics taken and post them for money to feed your family, you have broken the rules and must be punished.

But if you make the pics for fun and they somehow make it onto the the internet, then you must be considered a victim and therefore are protected by the machine.

Reality TV...gotta love it.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Damn the skinny ones anyway!

Writeprocrastinator said...

WTF? I thought they had provisions built into the contract that boot them out automatically after the first incident?

"Idol" amazes me. I haven't watched more than fifteen minutes of it in my life (discounting the shots taken at it by "The Soup" and "Best Week Ever"), yet somehow a quarter of the show's intrigues, manage to seep into my conscious.

As pennance for this soft core "pron" hypocrisy:

A) Simon should be forced to wear a shirt that actually fits.

B) Randy should forced to update his vocabulary to something this side of 1998.

C) Paula Abdul should given alcohol instead of the pills that she's taking, so that she might actually give a decent critique.

deadspot said...

Wait. There are people who aren't flashing their goods on the internet? Just when you think you understand how technology works...

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine