Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Idol Results: 5/2/07

So, did you all witness Simon's seemingly inappropriate laughing jag near the beginning of the show, which was prompted by Ryan's comment that Cowell "has a girlfriend and it's very serious?" Mmm hmm. He must've been thinking about me. Or LaKisha. No, it was me.

Following the trend of booking warm-up acts who have nothing to do with the major guest star or the genre of the week, AI got Robin Thicke to perform his hit, "Lost Without You." To my own surprise, I've been really digging this song lately but actually seeing this guy singing it kind of killed the mood. He looks like any number of random guys I see hanging around outside the corner deli. Not exactly the Mr. Saucy Pants I had pictured.

This week's Ford commercial/video set to "Paint it Black" seemed to be an homage to Gina Glocksen, The Little Mermaid and Criss Angel all at once. Have I mentioned how much I hate these things? It's worth repeating.

The red-headed Idol step-children - Ruben, Fantasia and Taylor - all got to tape itty-bitty "Idol Gives Back" announcements. I'm sure they don't feel at all bitter that Kelly Clarkson got to perform with a guitar hero and Carrie Underwood was sent to Africa to promote her exclusive iTunes single.

Results: Part I. Seacrest called up Melinda, Phil and LaKisha and, to no one's surprise, Melinda was safe. It came down to Drabby and Kiki and I had my first correct prediction of the evening when Phil was sent home. (Oh snap! The Daughtry tune was replaced by Carrie's cover of "I'll Stand By you" during the goodbye montage. And on rock night, no less!) Phil's reaction seemed to be a mixture of sadness and gratefulness. He strikes me as a good guy. Why do I always feel bad when the butts of so many of my jokes get voted off? I'm getting so sappy in my old age. It could also be because I managed to catch Phil's performance from last night on YouTube today and not only thought he sounded good, but that it was the least boring he's been all season. Oh well. He was never going to win, so what's the difference. And it's kind of cool that he really did go out in a blaze of glory.

Results: Part II (a). The second group was Jordin, Blake and Chris. Ryan immediately told Jordin that she was safe to make up for jerking her chain last week. He wasn't so kind to Blake and Chris, who were forced to sweat it out during the commercial break and Bon Jovi's performance.

When Ryan introduced Bon Jovi by saying "raise your hands," I got excited for a second, thinking that they were going to pull that oldie out. (Yes, thirtysomethings...that's an oldie now.) No such luck. Instead, the guys performed their new single, "(You Want To) Make a Memory," which I had already seen them do on the CMT Awards. That's right '80s fans - your Bon Jovi is a bona-fide country crossover act these days! I really like the new song and think it's very pretty, but I thought they should've ROCKED tonight considering that was this week's theme. Again, I wasn't able to get too upset with them because of Jon's face. Glorious. My one-time main man, Richie, is still cute...just in a haggard sort of way. I guess Jon hasn't been sharing his Dick Clark voodoo juice with the rest of the band.

Results: Part II (b). Blake and Chris shared an "awwwwww" moment before the results were announced. Their "best friends" speech was very sweet, and maybe even a little homoerotic. Ryan fully enjoyed it. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) Seacrest then told Chris that his time was up, and I marveled at how good I'm getting at these predictions. They brought the Daughtry song back for Chris's farewell, and he almost looked relieved to be going. I'm sure he'll have no problems getting into the biz now, because he's gotten great exposure and the chicks dig him. In the eloquent words of some random girl at the Farmer's Market, "He's, like, awesome and hot and he looks like Justin Timberlake which is super cool." Well said - even though he doesn't look anything like J-Tim, he just sounds like him. I'm a little sad to see Chris go myself, mostly because it means the death of Chrustin Richardslake. Let's all bow our heads in a moment of silence for my favorite nickname ever.

Next week, the Final Four will meet Lord of the Chest Hair, Barry Gibb! I won't try to predict what the contestants will sing, but here's what I think they should sing:

Blake - "Jive Talkin'." Totally up his alley. It's actually my favorite Bee Gees song.
Jordin - "If I Can't Have You." Great, great song that's in her range, and one that she could easily add more power to.
LaKisha - "Emotion." Ok, so this is a flat-out prediction. I would bet $1 million that this is the song that she picks. It just screams "LaKisha" to me.
Melinda - "Immortality." I seriously doubt anyone will pick this song, but I would love to hear Melinda sing it. It's a gorgeous, dramatic song that was written about Andy Gibb, and appears on Celine Dion's Let's Talk About Love record. The song gives me goosebumps every time I hear it. If anyone can cover Celine, it's Melinda.

Boy, all this talk of Barry Gibb and Justin Timberlake has really put me in the mood.


Tanya Espanya said...

And what about that whole huge hardon Simon has for Lakisha? That was so funny!

And I love Barry Gibb (should I mention how old I was when Saturday Night Fever came out? Wait, you were probably the same age!).

Flannery Alden said...

Oohh! I would love to hear Blake sing "Jive Talkin'". Excellent idea!

cube said...

Well...I'm glad Chris is gone, but I feel bad about the Nice Nosferatu's departure.

LoraLoo said...

Spot on, as usual, Beckeye.

I'm actually looking forward to Barry Gibb next week. Your choice for Blake is so perfect, I can already see it in my head.

Dale said...

I'll stand by you Beckeye, even if you're standing next to any one of your great teevee loves.

Bond said...

I was disappointed Kiki did not get booted and spend the rest of the show on Simon's lap

gizmorox said...

Chris skeeves me out. I've been saying since day one that he looks like a date rapist with those squinty eyes and the frat boy dance moves. Happy to not have to listen to him try to sing any more.


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