The AI results show ended mere minutes ago and I've already forgotten most of it. What a dull night. Generally, results night is at least twice as boring as performance night, so since last night was about as exciting as Bingo night at the VFW, I shouldn't really be surprised.
The only thing that really stood out to me was Brigitte Nielsen's performance. What? That was P!nk? Ah, even better! I think P!nk is awesome, so I'm glad she showed up...even if it was weeks after she was promised to viewers. She sang "Who Knew," which has now replaced "U + Ur Hand" as the song that won't leave my head. According to TMZ, she was supposed to do "U + Ur Hand," but the producers wanted her to cut out the lines about masturbation. Considering she'd have had to change the actual title of the song to please TPTB ("U + Ur Van?" "U + Roseanne?"), she just decided to perform "Who Knew." Who knew Ed Sullivan was still alive and well?
The Ford commercial this week was a lame take-off on A Hard Day's Night set to The Kinks' "You Really Got Me." Oh, Sanjaya, they were playing our song. Is it ridiculous to say that I actually missed that crazy kid? If I have to sit through this kind of garbage, it should at least be train-wreck hilarious.
The group performance was a medley of Barry Gibb hits. Apparently, I need to type up another memo about how much medleys suck. Someone must have ripped the original one down from the AI break room bulletin board.
The Final 4 got a sneak peek of the new Fantastic 4 movie. Isn't that clever? I saw the first movie and thought it stunk, so I'm really not interested in the sequel. Although I will say that the Human Torch dude was smokin' hot. Har har. But really, that guy's mighty fine. Jessica Alba was pretty hot too. Seacrest and I both thought so, and neither one of us even likes girls.
After the mega movie, it was "home movie" time. All the finalists showed their baby pictures while telling warm and fuzzy family tales and openly weeping. Hey, LaKisha referred to her childhood hairdo as a "nappy fro!" You can't say "nappy" on TV! Her career is over!
Sandwiched in between the announcements that Jordin and Melinda were both safe was Barry Gibb's performance of "To Love Somebody." I'm not sure what was going on with him. He sounded much better during the mentoring sessions last night. The only way I can describe his vocal is to say that it sounded like someone turning a radio's volume button off and on really quickly during an Aaron Neville song.
Finally, the results were revealed, proving Simon and I right once again. Just one night after performing "Stayin' Alive," LaKisha was voted off by fans of irony. But, she'll be fine. I'm sure we'll hear from her again.
So, now it's down to three. Those two ladies are going to eat Blake alive next week. I hope Ryan remembers to bring his fork to get in on that action.
The only thing that really stood out to me was Brigitte Nielsen's performance. What? That was P!nk? Ah, even better! I think P!nk is awesome, so I'm glad she showed up...even if it was weeks after she was promised to viewers. She sang "Who Knew," which has now replaced "U + Ur Hand" as the song that won't leave my head. According to TMZ, she was supposed to do "U + Ur Hand," but the producers wanted her to cut out the lines about masturbation. Considering she'd have had to change the actual title of the song to please TPTB ("U + Ur Van?" "U + Roseanne?"), she just decided to perform "Who Knew." Who knew Ed Sullivan was still alive and well?
The Ford commercial this week was a lame take-off on A Hard Day's Night set to The Kinks' "You Really Got Me." Oh, Sanjaya, they were playing our song. Is it ridiculous to say that I actually missed that crazy kid? If I have to sit through this kind of garbage, it should at least be train-wreck hilarious.
The group performance was a medley of Barry Gibb hits. Apparently, I need to type up another memo about how much medleys suck. Someone must have ripped the original one down from the AI break room bulletin board.
The Final 4 got a sneak peek of the new Fantastic 4 movie. Isn't that clever? I saw the first movie and thought it stunk, so I'm really not interested in the sequel. Although I will say that the Human Torch dude was smokin' hot. Har har. But really, that guy's mighty fine. Jessica Alba was pretty hot too. Seacrest and I both thought so, and neither one of us even likes girls.
After the mega movie, it was "home movie" time. All the finalists showed their baby pictures while telling warm and fuzzy family tales and openly weeping. Hey, LaKisha referred to her childhood hairdo as a "nappy fro!" You can't say "nappy" on TV! Her career is over!
Sandwiched in between the announcements that Jordin and Melinda were both safe was Barry Gibb's performance of "To Love Somebody." I'm not sure what was going on with him. He sounded much better during the mentoring sessions last night. The only way I can describe his vocal is to say that it sounded like someone turning a radio's volume button off and on really quickly during an Aaron Neville song.
Finally, the results were revealed, proving Simon and I right once again. Just one night after performing "Stayin' Alive," LaKisha was voted off by fans of irony. But, she'll be fine. I'm sure we'll hear from her again.
So, now it's down to three. Those two ladies are going to eat Blake alive next week. I hope Ryan remembers to bring his fork to get in on that action.
Comments
Barry sure sounded like he was struggling, didn't he?
Great blog - you are one funny lady. (Surfed on over from the couch and have been lurking for a few weeks)
LOL - Seacrest - ah Ryan.
PSST - I kind of miss Sanjaya too.
Oh well... so much for my powers of prediction.
BTW I thought Barry's performance would've improved with a dollop more Dentugrip. Maybe it was my imagination, but I thought I heard some clacking ;-)
Blake
Can they please go back to the 30 minute results show?
An hour to find out who goes home????
ugh
Every time Blake does one of his stupid beat box sounds I miss Sanjaya that much more. I'd much rather have Sanjaya's train wreck than Blake's beatboxing ridiculousness.
I was surprised and relieved that no one did: How Deep Is Your Love, More Than A Woman, or If I Can't Have You (I know the last one there was performed by Yvonne Elliman but it was penned by the Bee Gees). I think if any of those songs had been attempted they would have been butchered.