Tuesday, May 29, 2007

The Post-Memorial Day Memorial Post

Let's all bow our heads in a moment of silence for...

<---This cute
little girl who became...

this coked-up gutter slut. --->

* Publicists. They may just be extinct soon. First, Paris blames hers for all of her misdeeds and now Britney Spears forgoes the pros and tries to appeal to the public in her own prose. Yee-ikes. Sure, why bother releasing a well-written, grammatically correct statement when you can just blather aimlessly on your website? Of course, pasting a half-naked picture of yourself next to your open letter will make up for some of the incoherency. At least for your male fans.

* Original movies. Nearly every movie in theaters right now a sequel. Or I guess I should say a "threequel." Spiderman 3, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, Shrek the III, Oceans Thirteen...what's next? Don't say Grease 3. Do NOT say Grease 3.

* Charles Nelson Reilly. No joke here. He passed away on Friday. He was one _______ cat.

(I filled in the blank with "cool." Who matched?)


Barbara Bruederlin said...

Is "out there" the new black, then? Cause that seems to be Britney's favourite phrase.

CNR was one out there cat. Hey, it works!

Tanya Espanya said...

I hope this link works for you.

Travis said...

I saw that news about Mr Reilly over at Vinny's. He was one hilarious cat. Always one of my favorite celebs on Match Game.

LoraLoo said...

Lohan is a joke. 'Nuff said.

CNR was hilarious on Match Game. I also remember him from The Love Boat...

You are always so witty, I love reading what you've got to say even if it's a subject I couldn't care less about!

LoraLoo said...

i.e., Lohan...

cube said...

Not me. I said, "scrumtrulescent"

X. Dell said...

I said wild, so I guess we don't match.

I guess publicists are partly responsibility maintaining the star-maker machinery of Hollywood. Of course, it's easy to shift blame on others when you screw up. It's the American way, after all (at least if you want to be president someday).

Grease 3? I get it. Set in the 1970s, Frenchy puts on a biographical play that winds up being a multi-million dollar juggernaut starring John Travolta and Olivia-Newton John.

I can see it now.

Sounds like a good idea for a comedy post. Sequels that should never be made.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Um, "Grease Three?"

See, "Legs," it's different because I spelled out the number.

suz50 said...

Believe it or not, I have only heard of this Lyndsay L. name twice, once on the cover of a rag mag whilst going thru the groc ck out and then on the View yesterday. I don't even know if this girl is an actress in movies or TV (nor do I really care actually). Why all the fuss?


Happy Villain said...

CNR was great in an episode of "The X Files" that he guest starred in, which always surprised me because it didn't seem like the two icons fit together, but they did.

The Britney thing is hilarious. All you have to do is read it with a drawl and throw a few "y'all"s in there, with some gum smacking, and she's like a real-life Beverly Hillbilly! I particularly liked the part about her starting to use her head. It's about time! Maybe she can talk to LiLo about giving that a try.

An80sNut said...

I'm just waiting for them to start calling Lohan's next album/film a comeback. The press really hasn't figured that people have to go somewhere to come back.

I really thought CNR could have done so much more if people used him right. At least, Match Game gave him a good forum.

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