Saturday, June 09, 2007

Sorry For My Prolonged Absence...

...I've been in and out of jail all week. You know how that goes.

I find it interesting that the Pop Culture Gods saw fit to take away my computer access just when all the stars shifted and Paris Hilton became the center of the celeb universe. Perhaps it was a good thing. I watched the jail-transport coverage for about 20 minutes the other day and I'm already sick of hearing about Paris. I've even lost my appetite for French fries.

I really wanted to find something else to talk about but, as I just mentioned, the black hole that is Paris Hilton has sucked all of the life out of the entertainment world. Nothing else is going on, unless you count Britney's recent, shocking reveal that her ass is made entirely of cottage cheese. And now I've lost my appetite for all food.

Luckily, I'll have more blonde bimbos to amuse me soon enough. Next month is the premiere of VH1's latest has-been reality show, Rock of Love, starring Poison front-man Bret Michaels as the latest lonesome loser looking for love...or lots of big jugs. I don't know what will be worse - this show or Poison's new CD of classic-rock covers. Judging by the clip I just heard of their version of "Sufragette City," which essentially sounds like David Bowie's lyrics set to the music of "Talk Dirty to Me," I'm gonna guess the latter. I'll skip the record, but the '80s child in me can't avoid watching Bret's new show. I'm not sure if it can fill the void left by American Idol, but I'm willing to give it a shot.


Anonymous said...

might be time to dig out Pam and Brett's naughty tape (they did one too)

Les Becker said...

I must say, I wasn't altogether too impressed with whatever cover Poison butchered on Craig Ferguson the other night, either. At least ol' Brett admits he's only still in it for the broads...

Writeprocrastinator said...

Is Brett gonna wear that do-rag the whole time or is he going to get plugs?

As far as Britney? She was just shaking it at those shows about three weeks ago, she shouldn't look like that. Is mainlining ice cream and rum?

I'm all "loved" out on VH-1, why don't they create a seperate channel for this shit? I can barely stand "Charm School of Love" and I bailed on "I Love New York" ten minutes into the thing.

BTW, welcome back!

edP said...

Thanks alot...I was eating cottage cheese when I read the paragraph about Britney.

It's gonna be a bad day.

Tanya Espanya said...

How about that show America's Got Talent? I only saw an ad for it and it looks so dreadful that I've already got it programmed to record! Oh, the humanity.

Beth said...

Is that what I have to look forward to this summer? Looks like I'll finally have to get up off my a** and get a life.


Barbara Bruederlin said...

I think you have just provided me with the encouragement I needed to shut off the techno toys and head out to the garden. You have done the world a great service.

Layla (aka Barbara) said...

Glad to see your out of jail, I missed you.

Travis said...

Now I'm surprised there's no countdown to the premier of AI Season 7.

I thought Bret Michaels had gone country? He was a judge on Nashville Star two seasons ago.

BeckEye said...

Moviequill - I think I'm the only person in America who hasn't made a sex tape with Pam Anderson.

Les - Now, I would go on a dating show where Craig Ferguson was the bachelor. Mmm, love that Scottish accent.

WP - I'm betting on the do-rag. Perhaps Britney should be on the Bret Michaels show, they can both be bald together and make lots of sex tapes and babies.

EDP - Sorry about that. But cottage cheese is kinda gross anyway, no?

Tanya - I have to admit that I appreciate the obvious irony of the show's title, but I just can't watch. First of all, Sharon Osbourne's voice gives me seizures and secondly, I don't think The Hoff is qualified to judge talent.

Beth - Read the next post. You'll have to watch "The Two Coreys." That's worth staying on your ass for.

Barbara - To you too I say, "The Two Coreys." Screw the garden.

Layla - All it took was a few crocodile tears and they let me go! Amazing.

Travis - Come now, I'm not THAT obsessed. Bret Michaels is kind of pandering to the country audience these days, though he doesn't have the real crossover appeal that Bon Jovi does. I used to really enjoy "Nashville Star," but they kept moving around the time slot and I lost track of it.

LoraLoo said...

Brett Michaels and a reality dating show. Oi!

I was in Los Angeles when that whole Paris drama hit on Friday. The news focused on it relentlessly. I was pretty disgusted.


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