Yay! Britney wrote another crazy message on her website! This one is for her fans and "the pap" (either the paparazzi, her gynecologist or someone's grandfather, I guess) apologizing for waging a crazy, bald attack on a photographer's car with an umbrella four months ago. Here is the message, unedited:
I apologize to the pap for a stunt that was done 4 months ago regarding an umbrella. I was preparing my character for a role in a movie where the husband never plays his part so they switch places accidentally. I take all my roles very seriously and got a little carried away. Unfortunately I didn't get the part.
I don't know what's funniest:
The disjointed brilliance of the first sentence.
That she was preparing her character for a role. Is this like a movie within a movie?
Pronoun trouble.
Someone is actually producing another "switcheroo" movie.
Someone actually considered putting Britney Spears in their movie.
Someone wrote a screenplay that included an umbrella action scene.
The phrase "all my roles."
The idea that Britney takes anything - besides flashing her beaver - seriously.
She didn't even get the coveted part of angry, umbrella-wielding wife/husband, despite her best method acting techniques.
The knowledge that there will be more bizarre messages to come.
UPDATE: When I said the message was "unedited," evidently I was lying without even knowing it! Chelene just pointed out that The Superficial caught wind of Britney's letter a day earlier in its original format. Follow the link for fun with homonyms.
I apologize to the pap for a stunt that was done 4 months ago regarding an umbrella. I was preparing my character for a role in a movie where the husband never plays his part so they switch places accidentally. I take all my roles very seriously and got a little carried away. Unfortunately I didn't get the part.
I don't know what's funniest:
UPDATE: When I said the message was "unedited," evidently I was lying without even knowing it! Chelene just pointed out that The Superficial caught wind of Britney's letter a day earlier in its original format. Follow the link for fun with homonyms.
Comments
Good times!
Brit? Friends don't let friends type on Oxycontin.
Not sure if I should feel sad for her or embarassed for her kids. Or both.
"apologize" in place of the proper "apologise"
How could you not love her to bits?
I like Mary Poppins' umbrella play.
OT I'll be thinking of you tonight
when I watch the American Idols Live tour.
http://thesuperficial.com/2007/07/britney_spears_is_still_a_moro.php#comment
"Look at me! I am functionally illiterate yet I am wealthy beyond avarice - and you aren't"
(2) She probably meant to say that she is preparing for a role, but which one? Considering the bald head and the recent tattoos, I'm guessing Popeye the Sailor.
WP - I don't think she has any friends left. Not any real ones, anyway. Not any who don't secretly revel in her constantly making an ass of herself.
Karen - I can't feel sad for her until she takes SOME responsibility for her own state. She just wants to blame her mama, K-Fed, Paris, bartenders and hot dog vendors.
Les - Well, the gynie's office is just the place for hysterics. Har har har.
Loraloo - Just now??
RS - I hadn't realised that I had been spelling all of my favourite words incorrectly all this time, either. I apologise profusely, old chap.
CP - So, did you end up landing the role of the switcherooed husband?
Cube - Like I said, she doesn't have any friends who really want to help her out. And I think she's fired everyone who worked for her. Except for her drug dealer. Oh, and the nanny of course.
Beth - Dangling. Ugh. :)
Chelene - Thanks for the heads up! You're really...on..a...roll. Uhh heh. In my defense, The Superficial writers probably get paid to be on top of this shit.
Barbara - Yes, and she takes them so seriously that she listens to them when they tell her to go ahead and have that 3rd bag of Funyons.
Teri - She should. But it's funnier that she doesn't, so I'm not complaining.
Dan - I love to be the bearer of bad news.
RS - I think most of her life is spent figuring out new ways to annoy the commoners.
Dale - Body butter? Or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter?
RS - Homonym: a word with the same pronunciation as another but with a different meaning, origin, and, usually, spelling. Homopone: 1. any of two or more letters or groups of letters having the same pronunciation. 2. same as homonym
I guess that means we're all right. Except for Britney.
X.Dell - She was preparing her character for a roll. So it's the character whose ass is made of cottage cheese, not her.
Stewart - If you had been her English teacher, we wouldn't be able to laugh as hard at her stupidity. So I'm glad also.
Dale - Thanks for coming back to compliment someone else. Beth, Beth, Beth!! (That was my best Jan Brady.)
-- david