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Remember when I said that it was dangerous for Sean Preston or Jayden James to sit in Mama Britney's lap, because you never know when a crotchfire might break out? Yeah, you all thought I was kidding. Well, now is your chance to witness an actual crotchfire in progress, thanks to these new photos...













See, there Britney is just strolling along, enjoying the wind blowing through her wig, when her privates are suddenly engulfed! She has to quickly strip, which, luckily, she's had plenty of practice doing, and run into the nearby ocean to douse the vulvanic inferno. Ahhh...sweet relief. For now.

It's just lucky for Brit that she was near the beach when this happened. What would she have done if she was, say, in line at Starbucks? Dump someone's iced frappa-lappa-ding-dong-cappuccino on her flaming groin?

For those of you who thought that a crotchfire was similar to brush fire, that's a reasonable assumption, but an incorrect one. It's more of an internal flame. I think The Bangles wrote a song about it once. Hmm, maybe walking like an Egyptian causes crotchfires resulting from too much thigh friction.

Comments

Hate when that happens!

LOL

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Cup said…
She's my idol, my hero, my favorite wannabe.
Karen said…
Perhaps she was drunk...again. Seriously, does she not have a manager/handler or someone to slap her every time she tries to do something stupid? Methinks she should lay off the redbull.
LoraLoo said…
That must have been one hell of a fire... do you think she actually wonders why she gets absolutely no respect?
LOL - vulvanic inferno! Wasn't there also a 70's disaster movie about those?

Everytime I think she can't make me shake my head in disgust any more....Oops! She did it again.
cube said…
lol! The fire down below.
Excessive thigh friction is no laughing matter, missy. Those suffering from this debilitating condition must carry a mini fire extinguisher on their belts for emergencies. I'm suggesting Britney get one pronto.
Anonymous said…
Ya gotta admit though, she does have a fecund physique!
Angell said…
ROTFLMAO - nuttin' else to say.

Now, can I go get a frappa - lappa - ding-dong cino, or whatever it is?

It sounds yummy.
Cup said…
I wonder if she scorched the fish ...
Anonymous said…
LMAO

It looks like she went to the Jessica Simpson School of Posing in that last photo. Close your dang mouth Brit.
Metal Mark said…
Has anyone ever had to call in the National Guard to help with a crotch fire?
chelene said…
I couldn't believe my eyes when I read this story. If, as she says, there's nothing wrong with her and she's not doing drugs or drinking, than why does she do such crazy things?

But at least she's wearing underwear.
Joe said…
What are you busting Britney's chops for? Fer chrissake, she WAS WEARING UNDERWEAR AT LEAST! That's got to count for something.
Alice said…
oh britney. i want you to get your head on straight and make a come back SO BADLY. why must you keep slashing my hopes.
What Slave & Bubs both said.
Unknown said…
Don't have a printer :(

Fame! What people do for it!
X. Dell said…
Let's just be thankful she was wearing something under that dress.
Anonymous said…
chelene - She went for a swim! This is crazy behaviour?

Maybe I'm missing something though.
To counter our dependency on oil, I think we should seriously consider looking into crotchfires as alternative energy sources.
Spinning Girl said…
She is all class, that one.