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Remember when I said that it was dangerous for Sean Preston or Jayden James to sit in Mama Britney's lap, because you never know when a crotchfire might break out? Yeah, you all thought I was kidding. Well, now is your chance to witness an actual crotchfire in progress, thanks to these new photos...













See, there Britney is just strolling along, enjoying the wind blowing through her wig, when her privates are suddenly engulfed! She has to quickly strip, which, luckily, she's had plenty of practice doing, and run into the nearby ocean to douse the vulvanic inferno. Ahhh...sweet relief. For now.

It's just lucky for Brit that she was near the beach when this happened. What would she have done if she was, say, in line at Starbucks? Dump someone's iced frappa-lappa-ding-dong-cappuccino on her flaming groin?

For those of you who thought that a crotchfire was similar to brush fire, that's a reasonable assumption, but an incorrect one. It's more of an internal flame. I think The Bangles wrote a song about it once. Hmm, maybe walking like an Egyptian causes crotchfires resulting from too much thigh friction.