Sunday, September 09, 2007

Flann-ery, You Got Me Now

Since I'm prone to interviews lately, Flannery Alden from Prone to Whimsy threw a few thoughtful questions my way. And as the late, great Merv Griffin so often did, Flannery made sure to end her questionnaire with a request for a haiku about John Travolta. It's so nice to work with such a pro, who truly understands the art of the interview.

1. You have been blogging for over 2 years now, why did you start your blog and how has it changed your life?

I had heard tales of no-name schlubs who started blogs that rocketed them to online fame. I figured I couldn't be any less entertaining than that goofball Perez Hilton or the Pink is the New Blog dude. Apparently, I was wrong. My blog hasn't made me a household name, but perhaps that makes me cooler? I'm like an indie blogger. I'm the Cat Power of the blogging world. Or so I like to think.

Blogging has definitely had a positive effect on me, mostly because I've met a lot of cool people through it and have received some really nice feedback on my writing. I've always been plagued by those "I'm not good enough to pursue this as a career" doubts, but now I think I'm ready to put myself out there more. Hopefully I'll start getting some freelance writing gigs soon!

2. If I gave you Britney's phone number, what would you say to her?

Hi Britney, this is the...uh, President of the Universe. I'm ordering you to have your tubes tied. Thank you for your cooperation. That is all. Um, bye y'all.

3. Marry, kill, f*ck: Tom Cruise, K-Fed, Will Ferrell.

First, let's get the easy part out of the way. I would obviously marry Will Ferrell. That's a no-brainer. Now for the slightly harder and much more disgusting part. I would probably eff K-Fed, because I'm getting a little older and I don't know how many eggs are left in my basket. I hear he's a crack shot with sperm, so he would at least be useful when I finally decide that I'm ready to have a kid. That leaves Tom Cruise for the killing! I would kill him slowly. First, I would give him the American water-gun torture and then I would stuff him in the cushions of a couch and jump up and down on him without mercy. And I would make Oprah watch.

4. As a long time fan of American Idol, what would you say was the best musical moment from the show and why?

I'm sure most people would expect me to pick a Kelly Clarkson moment, but the truth is that she kind of annoyed me while she was on the show. I only came to really like her when Breakaway came out. There were a lot of pretty good moments, but one that always sticks out in my head is Carrie Underwood's performance of Heart's "Alone." She actually gave me chills that night...her voice was so perfect and powerful. (And her hair looked awesome!) It's really hard to cover someone with such a unique and amazing voice as Ann Wilson's, but Carrie nailed it. She blew it out the box. It was a hot one, yo. I also remember that as a time when I was particularly aggravated by how much the show edited down the songs for time.

5. Would you favor us with a haiku outlining your love for John Travolta?

Why, I'd love to!

First love, since age five
Gorgeous, sweet, talented man
I'm obsessed. So what?

But enough about me! Let's talk about Britney! Keep scrolling down to take the Britney VMA poll and to enter the Britney caption contest!! Do it, or I'll continue to abuse these poor, defenseless exclamation points!!!


Zed said...

Great answers! And I'm totally with you on Carrie Underwood's performance #4! Fantastic and amazing!! ... This exclamation point thing is so addictive. :)

Oh, and when you speak with Britney again (#2), would you please command her to get rid of those rat-infested weaves and wash her hair once in a while?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You are a household name in our house, honey! And Cat Power just wishes she was as cool and indie as you are. And I am not just buttering you up to kick your ass in the blogger wars later, either.

Dale said...

The couch jumping finish for Tommy? Excellent thinking. Great job both of youse guys.

Tanya Espanya said...

Nicely done, ladies.

And I totally agree with the Marry, Kill and F&ck.

But I'm a little disturbed by all the love you're throwing towards John Travolta.

cube said...

I'd like to help with the Tom Cruise part ;-)

Flannery Alden said...

Excellent! I remember that Carrie moment and it was terrific. She also did a fine job with "I'll Stand By You." I liked it better than the original.

pistols at dawn said...

Cat Power AND American Idol? I'm not sure what to do with those diverse inputs, so I'll ignore the latter.

Grant Miller said...

Travolta? Who's he married to again?

Beth said...

Damn. Now I might have a crush on you as big as the one I have on Tilbrook.

Coaster Punchman said...

Um, I hope Glenn doesn't read this.


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