Thursday, October 25, 2007

ANTM 9, Week 6

This week on America's Next Top Model, the girls learn to spell!

No, that would be more up America's Most Smartest Model's alley. (Another mess I've been sucked in to watching. Oy.) But the women do act like schoolgirls when super male model, Tyson Beckford, stops in for a visit. The shrieking would normally annoy me, but I'm too distracted by Tyson's tattoo-sleeves to pay attention to what's going on.

Everyone is seeming to get along at this stage of the competition, so I guess their menstrual cycles have finally fallen into sync. Prickly Bianca admits that she is getting close to some of the girls, but she's still not losing sight of the fact that this is a competition.

For this week's challenge, the girls split up into teams of three to work on their "spokesmodel" skills by creating and presenting original PSAs for Keep A Child Alive, an organization that donates medicine to African families suffering from AIDS. If this is all mostly practice for their future days of making announcements at car shows and introducing the players on Celebrity Poker matches, is it still a good deed?

Driving home the fact that everyone involved with this show is a good person, the photo shoot has the models in high fashion garb surrounded by real garb...the recyclable kind. Saleisha revvs things up with car parts, Heather shines in aluminum, Sarah nicely fills out some trash bags, Jenah is right at home in cardboard boxes, Bianca looks slick in oil, and more puns that I'm too tired to think up. Ambreal (newspaper) and Ebony (bubble wrap) struggle through their shoots - Ambreal because she's overthinking everything (yes, apparently you can overthink posing) and Ebony because she just wants the hell out of there.

At judging, it comes down to the girls who have the weakest photos - Ambreal and Ebony. When Tyra drops the bomb that Ambreal is out, Ebony lobs the bomb back by telling Tyra that she no longer wants to be in the competition. From the way her eyelashes are fluttering a mile a minute, it's obvious that Ms. Banks would like nothing more than to rip that weave right out of Ebony's head. However, since this is TV, she keeps her composure and offers up the verbal bitch-slap that there is nothing more unappealing to her than a "quitter." Ebony just makes that stupid snarly face again, says thanks and sheepishly exits. Ambreal weeps like a killer spared from the electric chair and lives to model another day.

Next week, Tyra will teach the gals some hoochie dance moves. Then I'm sure she'll accuse someone of looking too hoochie in their photo shoot. That's ANTM the way I like it, served up nice and lukewarm with plenty of contradictions!

I hope all of you model-haters appreciate that, starting now, I'm trying to shorten these recaps.


Barbara Bruederlin said...

I may fall into the model-hater category, but I really have to hear about the hoochie dances.

pia said...

I didn't see it but a group of us were at a concert in Riverside Park this summer and Tyson was sitting at the table just in front of ours

Nobody could stop looking at him---and a soap star---not sure what soap just recognized him was sitting at the next table to us and seemed angry that he wasn't getting the attention

But soap stars unless they're Tony Geary or Susan Lucci rarely get attention in Manhattan so I couldn't figure that out

Skylers Dad said...

So are all of the models going to be on the pole next week?

Bubs said...

I like your accounts, much much better than I like the show. Keep em coming!

Dale said...

I enjoyed Tyra's fluttering eyed comeback. Please try and use the fake word Tyrade at some point if she works up some more emotion.

Alice said...

ok, i finally caught up on my ANTM on friday night (my social life = kickin'!) so i'm pleased to report i can now read this recap posts, which are awesome. yay!


Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

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I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

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