Like the goop that's always accumulating in the corners of our eyes, the following news stories are curiously fascinating:
K-Fed Tells Britney, "Gimme Gimme the Kids" - For fans of anticlimactic news, all these months (years?) of crazy finally caught up with Britney Spears today when she was ordered to give up custody of her two boys, Sean Preston and Jayden James, to her Fed-ex. When reached for comment, Brit said, "Woooo dawgies! Party tonight at Pure, y'all!"
When They Said 28 Days, She Didn't Think They Meant "In a Row" - Lindsay already needs another vacation from rehab, and her formerly estranged father is more than happy to arrange the trip. Suddenly everything is peachy keen with Li-Lo and her old man, and they're planning a 5-day getaway to Utah for some QT - no matter that the littlest firecrotch is in the middle of detox. Well, you know what they say...Father knows best! I remember all the times my Dad pulled me out of the clinic to go party in the mountains. Those were some of the greatest times of my life. Family bonding. That's almost better than heroin. Almost. Oh, who am I kidding, it doesn't even come close!
Keith Urban is a Stupid Boy - Urban is the latest celeb to blame the pap for causing a fender-bender. Keith was out tooling around on his motorcycle when he spotted a photog following him. Of course, Keith decided that endangering his life at top speed was preferable to letting the guy snap a blurry picture of him cruising down the highway. Heaven forbid someone take a picture of a celebrity. Why do these idiot famous people, who live in the papers and magazines, always suddenly decide that they're shy when they're in their cars? And why do they drive around on motorcycles and in flashy convertibles if they don't want to be seen? Drive a shitty Ford Taurus with dirty windows if you want to be left alone, moron!
Danny Tanner Drowsily Chaperones D.J. to the Big Dance - Bob Saget is joining the cast of the Broadway musical, "The Drowsy Chaperone." Bob Saget. On Broadway. I hear the cockroaches are even refusing to set antenna in Midtown. Next thing you know, Dave Coulier will be playing Hamlet.
Dave Coulier to Star in New Movie Adaptation of Hamlet - Psych!
K-Fed Tells Britney, "Gimme Gimme the Kids" - For fans of anticlimactic news, all these months (years?) of crazy finally caught up with Britney Spears today when she was ordered to give up custody of her two boys, Sean Preston and Jayden James, to her Fed-ex. When reached for comment, Brit said, "Woooo dawgies! Party tonight at Pure, y'all!"
When They Said 28 Days, She Didn't Think They Meant "In a Row" - Lindsay already needs another vacation from rehab, and her formerly estranged father is more than happy to arrange the trip. Suddenly everything is peachy keen with Li-Lo and her old man, and they're planning a 5-day getaway to Utah for some QT - no matter that the littlest firecrotch is in the middle of detox. Well, you know what they say...Father knows best! I remember all the times my Dad pulled me out of the clinic to go party in the mountains. Those were some of the greatest times of my life. Family bonding. That's almost better than heroin. Almost. Oh, who am I kidding, it doesn't even come close!
Keith Urban is a Stupid Boy - Urban is the latest celeb to blame the pap for causing a fender-bender. Keith was out tooling around on his motorcycle when he spotted a photog following him. Of course, Keith decided that endangering his life at top speed was preferable to letting the guy snap a blurry picture of him cruising down the highway. Heaven forbid someone take a picture of a celebrity. Why do these idiot famous people, who live in the papers and magazines, always suddenly decide that they're shy when they're in their cars? And why do they drive around on motorcycles and in flashy convertibles if they don't want to be seen? Drive a shitty Ford Taurus with dirty windows if you want to be left alone, moron!
Danny Tanner Drowsily Chaperones D.J. to the Big Dance - Bob Saget is joining the cast of the Broadway musical, "The Drowsy Chaperone." Bob Saget. On Broadway. I hear the cockroaches are even refusing to set antenna in Midtown. Next thing you know, Dave Coulier will be playing Hamlet.
Dave Coulier to Star in New Movie Adaptation of Hamlet - Psych!
Comments
How do I enpregnate a rich woman file for divorce get money and kids???
~Jef
But is she that smart ...?
OH, that was just a commercial you say? I think NOT!
There certainly is in my pants, if not this world.
Also, what kind of weird world are we living in where That Guy Who Says "Leave Britney ALONE!" On YouTube is now a bigger star than the fading celebrity he was complaining about? Meta, bro.
"I was hoping he was just masturbating again! I don't want to be the cause of the unholy spawn of those 2 yahoos!"
As for Bob Saget on Broadway... He saw how it worked for John Stamos and wanted to give it a try himself.