Friday, February 08, 2008

Caption Crotch-test Contest #7

"My CPU is a neural processor. A learning computer. Come with me if you want to live."



There's your winning caption, supplied by Manx. I don't know why, but this one really cracked me up the first time I read it. It fits. After all, Britney has been changing accents more than her underwear (literally) so it's not out of the realm of possibility that she'll start speaking like Ahhhnold in da nee-yah fyoochah.

I should probably give honorable mentions to Molie and Flannery, who offered up some appropriate stroke-related captions. However, I refuse to reward a stroke joke. Not necessarily because I'm a nice person, but because I'm afraid that I'll laugh too hard and actually have a stroke. Maybe it's my love of The Twilight Zone, but I'm convinced that irony is waiting around every corner, waiting to kick me in the ass.

Here's your badge, Manx. And remember, a firecrotch can't be bargained with! It can't be reasoned with! It doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and it absolutely will not stop...EVER! Until next month.

35 comments:

Bubs said...

Having just read about Britney's new English accent, all I could think of was "Oi!"

Lee Ann said...

Unbelievable....So much to say on this topic. I am not a big Britney fan, but in the end, I hope she gets the help she needs.
Have a great weekend Beck!
~xo
Lee Ann

Alice said...

"jesus christ, THAT'S what my new extensions look like!? get the mirror away from me!"

Suze said...

I love this Botox crap!!

Slave to the dogs said...

"A scene from the annual Cross Dressing Gala at the Special Olympics."

I know, I know - sick on so many levels!

Molie said...

Britney Spears: Celebrity sponsor of the National Stroke Associations act FAST campaign.

* Face: Ask the person to smile. Does one side of the face droop?

* Arms: Ask the person to raise both arms. Does one arm drift downward?

* Speech: Ask the person to repeat a simple sentence. Are the words slurred?

* Time: If the answer to any of the above questions is yes, time is important. Immediately, call 911. Brain cells are dying.

Distributorcap said...

a tie makes the man

mellowlee said...

Oh I just can't! I'm appalled haha!

Writeprocrastinator said...

Britney: It's 106 miles to Hollywood, we got a full tank of gas, half a bottle of Xanax, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.

Adnan: Hit it.

Bluez said...

this thong is killin me!

Happy Villain said...

Where's the Cheesy-Poofs, y'all? Respect my authori-tay!

Leonesse said...

Ooops, I just urped up a little of my morality.

gifted typist said...

"It's a smile - when I'm upside down."

Bond said...

"I have always been a Pugsley Addams kinda chick"

SkylersDad said...

I can't top Molie, that was damn funny!

Evil Genius said...

[In the Seinfeld bellybutton voice]"Helooooo!"

Barbara Bruederlin said...

"What? Joan Rivers has looked like this for years and she still gets work at the Oscars.

I'm smiling, right?"

Artful Dodger said...

I dunno why, but she looks kinda like Michael Jackson in this pic. Way creepy. (shudders)

Dale said...

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mrs. Marilyn Manson

Edge said...

Mommy says I have to go to the hospital if my face sticks like this adn daddy will watch my money for me.

~Jef

The Guv'ner said...

"Oops I farted again!"

Flannery Alden said...

Stroke me, Stroke me! Stroke!

Dale said...

It took me a second but that's fucking hilarious Flannery! I can say fucking here right?

Coaster Punchman said...

"Watch this.... this is Johnny Depp changing his underwear!"

deadspot said...

Is that what the inside of my mouth tastes like?

CDP said...

Was that LETTUCE in my burrito?

pistols at dawn said...

"Might as well face it: I'm addicted to love. And by love, I mean Oxycontin."

Beth said...

This f*cking olanzapine is the best high ever. And drooling is kinda cool.

Practically Perfect In Every Way said...

never trust a fart if you aren't wearing panties. "adnan pick that up and sell it to the tabloids"

Manx said...

"My CPU is a neural processor. A learning computer. Come with me if you want to live."

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Congrats on your crotch-test captionery, Manx.

Flannery Alden said...

Always a bridesmaid...

Coaster Punchman said...

I would have to agree on the stroke thing. We don't want to be tempting the fates with that one.

Dale said...

Congrats Manx!

cube said...

Britney looks like she's saying, "Well, helllll-ooooo" like from Seinfeld.

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine