Wednesday, March 26, 2008

American Idol 7 Results: 3/26/08

Once again, I only predicted 2 out of the Bottom 3 correctly and was wrong about who went home. Last year, my predictions were pretty damn accurate. I don't know what's happening to me. My obsession with Michael Johns must be causing my brain to short-circuit.

The Bottom 3: Chikezie, Syesha and Jason
The Bootee: Chikezie

I'm not that upset to see Chikezie and his teeny tiny tic-tac teeth go, but he certainly wasn't the worst last night. I was sure that he was safe when Ryan called his name first. I can't believe that Ryan violated the First Rule of Results Night by sending the first one out to the Bottom 3. What happened to the first person always being safe??? God, every one of my AI theories and postulates is being destroyed!

Last week, I said that I wasn't going to pick Ramiele to be in the Bottom 3 anymore because she just keeps proving me wrong. Her performance this week was bad enough to change my mind though, so I foolishly predicted her to be voted off. And once again, she breezed right through to next week without even so much as a glance toward the hot seats. Who did this girl sell her soul to?

Some revelations from tonight's show:

  • Chikezie is single! I hope that girl who called in to ask is willing to support him now that he's no longer riding the AI gravy train.
  • Carly is not pregnant, she's just chubby. C'mon, give her a break, she's Irish. We like the carbs, people.
  • Davey Archuleta did so pick his own song this week, Simon. Nyah! As for who ties his shoes, we're still not sure.
  • When asked what artist she would most like to duet with, Brooke answered "John Mayer." Michael could be seen sitting behind her, making the same amused face that I was. I mean, really Brooke? John Mayer?? I guess icons like Springsteen, Bono and Eddie Vedder aren't vanilla enough for you, eh? If Mayer's not available, are you gonna pick James Blunt as an alternate?? Get back behind your piano and stop talking for God's sake. I love you when you sing, but I wanna stab you in the head with a fork when you speak.
  • Ryan said that both Chris Cornell and Lee Greenwood called to give Boy Cook and Girl Cook, respectively, their stamps of approval. Okay, I can see Lee Greenwood calling to chat with Seacrest, but Chris Cornell? Yeah right. And I suppose that Jerry Cantrell has brunch every Sunday with Paula.

  • As I mentioned in my previous post, the opening group number was abysmal as usual but, strangely enough, I didn't hate the Ford commercial this week. Maybe it's because it opened with Michael singing "I Want You To Want Me." Done. You don't have to ask twice, sweetness.

    I grew to like Jason Castro a little more tonight because of his fidgety, very Danny Zuko-esque attitude while he was in the Bottom 3. I've reimagined the scene this way:

    Ryan: So Jason, how do you feel?
    Jason:You know how it is, baby. Rockin' and rollin' and what not.
    Jason: That's my name, Ryan, don't wear it out.
    Ryan: Jason, do you think you should be in the Bottom 3?
    Jason: Oh, come on Seacrest, don't make me laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
    Ryan: Well, Jason. You're safe.
    Jason: *64-teeth smile* Well, that's cool, baby.

    I really wish he would cut off those dreads.

    I have to mention that Chikezie's mother kind of freaked me out during his final performance. She was standing in the audience doing this "gimme more, gimme more" dance. It's kind of the same thing I do when Michael is singing. That's not normal. Not for either one of us, but more so for her.

    With Chikezie now gone, the chances of hearing more Whitney Houston songs has just decreased by 40%. So who will attempt her version of "I-Eeeeee-I Will Always Love You-Ooooooh-Oooooh-I" next week when Dolly Parton visits - Syesha or Carly? Or will David Cook uncover an unknown Anthrax version of the song to perform? And how happy is Kristy Lee that next week is country week? Who wants to bet that her next "clever" move will be to cover Darryl Worley's ode to 9/11, "Have You Forgotten?" She's never going away, people.


    Falwless said...

    Well, I predicted on Red's blog that Chikezie was going home, but I screwed up the two other bottom 3 candidates. WHATEVS.

    A few things I have to get off my chest:
    - I've had it with Constantine Maroulis. Seriously, what was with the total douchebag-ish posing for the camera? Ugh.
    - I like David Cook. Really, I do. But I'm beginning to notice his arrogance and it bothers me. Did you see how he strode out there to Ryan so cockily? Your head is big enough already, son.
    - Kimberly Locke? Really? What, did Diana DeGarmo have a prior engagement? Ayla Brown too busy with her basketball? What about Vonzell Solomon? Is she next? Seriously. Tell me who gave a shit about that performance, honestly.

    Bye Chikezie. Take it easy.

    Anonymous said...

    God bitch! You're just babbling the judges comments that we've already heard! Get a life loser!

    In case you're stupid, lemme rephrase:
    You're just saying the judges's comments in your own words, my god just close this silly sissy blog of yours, it's just a huge waste of bandwidth!

    You racist fat whore!

    Amy said...

    Well, I don't know what anonymous' problem is... but anyway... I love you Beckeye!

    I do so wish that Kristy Lee chick would take a hike in her cowboy boots. She just bugs me.

    And, this goes along with another post, but I also found it pretty irritating that the judges just went on and on about Cook being so original.

    Mike said...

    Chikezie didnt take to kindly to you calling him tic tac teeth. Hence the anon comments. Who needs him!

    You imagining Michael giving the exact same smirk as you when hearing the Mayer comment....makes me worry about you. ;-)

    BeckEye said...

    Yay! They say you haven't truly made it as a blogger until you get your first "angry anonymous comment." This one is actually about the third, but it's definitely the angriest. Or, to rephrase one of Ryan's comments that you've already heard, THIS IS THE ANGRIEST ANONYMOUS COMMENT EVER!

    I love when people who troll blogs to make insane anonymous comments tell other people to get a life. I don't know if that's the definition of ironic, but it's pretty close.

    My silly sissy blog will still be here next week, if you want to stop by for some more of my racist, fat whoring. Until then, take it Chik-easy!

    Ian said...

    The only good thing to come out of tonight's episode was the fact that the Ford commercial used a Cheap Trick song. As far as doing an individual performance of a Cheap Trick song goes though, I think Chikezie was the last contestant who was truly worthy.

    Glamour_Whore said...

    You have an awesome blog. :)

    Coaster Punchman said...

    Well dear, you gotta hand it to Christy Lee for working with what she's got. In all fairness I didn't hate her "8 Days a Week" as much as everyone else and the Pope seems to.

    David Cook is not cocky. He just naturally looks like a rock star. I mean c'mon, would you rather have him or that fawning, preening Archie boy? I've about had it with that boy although I am looking forward to the future CMFTVM about how his father would put Joe Jackson and the Ramseys to shame.

    Chikezie needed to go if only to rid us of the one-name stupidity. There's only one Cher, folks. Live with it.

    Ramitello or whatever her name is needs to leave. She's just taking up space at this point and we're over it.

    Don't be so hard on Brooke; her Mormonness makes her say those things. At least she didn't choose an Osmond.

    Mathdude said...

    Ha - I outpredicted you this week! Down goes Beckeye! Down goes Beckeye!

    I'm beginning to think Brook is the next Karen Carpenter: great voice, but BORING!

    I think Carly is more Chicklet-Teethy than Chikezie!

    My final 4 of Archuleta, Cook, White, and Castro is still intact.

    I'm sooooo jealous of your angry anonymous comment!

    Kristi Mantoni said...

    Jason was hysterical in the bottom three. I hope he stays on for a while because he makes me smile every time he speaks!

    I too am jealous of your angry anon post. No one care enough about my blog to do that! *hint, hint* LOL

    I though David C was original by chosen an unknown version of a VERY well known song. I didn't see anyone else doing that.

    Gifted Typist said...

    Not surprising.

    Kristy's cynical clever choice was Idol payola.

    Alice said...

    you know, anon has a point. every week i come here eagerly for the results, and i'm all "you know what this recap tells me? that beckeye is, like, totally a whore." and racist! i almost forgot. that's a pretty good troll comment - all the major insult bases covered ;-P

    alas, no more tictac teeth. unless mathdude is right and carly's teeth will carry on the honor?

    Cleo said...

    I saw a comment of yours on VFTW that mentioned this blog and I decided to check it out. I'm glad I did. I agree with a lot of your recap of Tuesday's show. And I appreciate your summary of the results show as I went out last night and missed it. The only thing I don't get is your obsession with Michael Johns, but hey, I've got a thing for Jason Castro that I'm sure some folks wouldn't get, either. ;)

    Keep up the good work. :)

    Scott Booker said...

    Well..I was totally off too! Oh well!! I am ok with long as it isnt the Davids, Michael or Brooke gone.

    And I totally agree about the weird dance Chikezie's mom was doing. Freaked me out. My sweetie was crying...and I was like "Are you afraid that this is why he is single or something?"

    Anyway....Love the new scenario that you came up with for Jason and Ryan. It is so dead on!!

    Anonymous said...

    Nice Blog!
    Happened to land here from VFTW.
    I'll keep coming in to check on Idol recaps.Keep up the good work and don't let anon comments get to ya.( But I guess ya already know that!)

    Angell said...

    I love your blog hon - you know this.

    I was so happy to see Chikezie go home. Not that he doesn't have a good voice, there is just something about that man that rubs me the wrong way.

    I missed the whole Q & A thing cuz we're JUST getting Rock of Love up here in Canada and I had to watch some of that car wreck - couldn't tear my eyes away and I'm praying that the mega-bitches Lacy and Heather get thrown in the pool before being tossed off the tour (dont' tell me what happens!!)

    I LOVED Michael's performance, and I think Jason is as cute as a button. Didn't see the Travolta thing tho until you did the little "convo" between him & Ryan. Now I SO totally see it. Look for him to be playing Danny Zukko on Broadway in two years.

    Kristy is STILL there? Nightmare beyond belief. And so is the little one (I can't spell her name). The one who did the song that was TOO big for her voice. You know the one.

    Brooke? Good singer - boring as a game of truth or dare in a church basement.

    Loved BOTH David's performances. Had no idea Chris Cornell watched Idol, but hey! Everyone's gotta have something to do Tuesday night's y'know?

    Keep it up - angry assholes are ALWAYS willing to annonymously post on blogs like this. :D

    Red said...

    Jason should totally star in a Grease revival on Broadway.

    Sheer excellence, Becks, as always.

    BeckEye said...

    Falwless - I really didn't think for one second that Chicky baby would be going home. I knew he'd be in the bottom, but I thought for sure Ramiele's time was up. I also saw Constantine and his googly eyes AGAIN. Can't we vote him out of the audience? Damn, he's aggravating.

    Anon - I've already answered you, but I was wondering if you could please rephrase what it is that I'm doing with the judges's's's's comments's again.

    Amy - Well, thanks Amy. Thanks for loving me in spite of my fat, racist whoreishness.

    Mike - I didn't imagine that! He seriously made this face like he was thinking "Whoa...John Mayer? Really?" We're so in sync. Stop trying to undermine our spiritual connection.

    Ian - I want you to want Michael Johns to do well in this competition.

    Glamour Whore - Thanks! I'm a whore too, you know!

    CP - I never called David cocky, so I guess you're responding to Falwless's comment. I like him, but I don't know what he's gonna do when he runs out of alt-rock covers of classic songs. I'd like to see because he has a really good voice and I think he's only hurting himself by continuing along with this trend of picking those songs.

    Mathdude - Down goes Beckeye! Down goes Beckeye! That's what Michael Johns said. Oh!!

    Kristi - The song wasn't completely unknown. I knew of it. But then again I think Chris Cornell is HOT and I've always been a Soundgarden fan. I also love Cornell's solo album "Euphoria Morning." But that's just me. Anyway, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you to be called a racist fat whore sometime in the near future. :)

    GT - She makes me so proud to be an American.

    Alice - Yeah, I'm surprised that no one's picked up on my racism before. I'm a regular Grand Wizard. I think with all my lusting over Michael Johns though, it's become apparent that I am, indeed, a whore. Well, I'd be a whore for him, anyway.

    And yes, when Carly opens her mouth it's like looking at Stonehenge. I hate when I crack myself up in the comments section. I need to post that somewhere for real.

    Cleo - Thanks for stopping by! I understand your fixation on Jason. He does look like a baby Travolta, after all. Still, that Aussie really has a hold on me.

    Scott - That scenario only proves that I've seen "Grease" one too many times. Although it's fitting that I put Seacrest in the "Sandy" role.

    R)han - Thanks! Glad that you swung by. Yeah, I guess anonymous comments like that would bother most people, but I'm just too much of a racist fat whore to care.

    BeckEye said...

    Angell - Oh wow, you're like a whole season behind on Rock of Love?? I used to make fun of Bret Michaels' perpetual state of horniness, but now with Michael Johns on my TV every week, I understand how he feels.

    Red - Thanks! And I would love to see Jason play Danny. Without the dreads, of course.

    Dale said...

    I think Kristy Lee's bound to blow it on country week, it would just make perfect sense, in my head anyway.

    I dished up a little KBL for you Beckeye to get rid of the melting snow.

    cube said...

    I like reading your silly sissy blog ;-)

    Chancelucky said...

    My guess is that Brooke White will take on "I Will Always Love You". I still want to see Jason Castro in a Dolly wig and other accessories. My other wild guess is that Ramiele Malubay might be pretty good in country music.

    I do wonder which Dolly will show up as a mentor. There's the Dollywood dolly and there's the serious country singer who was protesting the war two years ago. If it's the latter, it could be really interesting.


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