Monday, March 31, 2008

BeckEye's 15 Sexiest Male Musicians

A new blog-friend, Bloody Awful Poetry (BAP), tagged me with this. Now, those of you who've been reading The Pop Eye for a while probably assume that BAP is on my shit list, due to my meme aversion. Normally, that would be true, but when I found out that she wanted me to prattle on about hot musicians, well I just couldn't be mad. Where's Ryan Seacrest when I need him? THIS IS THE BEST MEME EVER!!

I was actually surprised by how hard it was for me to come up with 15. Once I got past my usual handful, I had to really do some thinking. You'll notice that a lot of the guys on my list might be past their "sexy prime," but hey, you never get over those guys you loved in your teens, right? And none of these 112 pound emo/post-punk dudes do it for me, so I've got slim pickings when it comes to modern music.

But enough about me. Let's get to the meat. (You might want to enlarge these pics for maximum enjoyment.)

1. Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam) - Well, duh. Nobody does it Vedder...makes me feel sad for the rest. He's always had that whole dangerous, sexy, brooding, intense, tortured artist thing going on, but he's a daddy now and he's letting more of his sweet, funny side show. Not everyone finds him attractive (like the blind, or those pigface aliens from The Twilight Zone), but I think he has that effortless, rugged, handsomeness that can't be hidden, no matter how hard he tries to ugly himself up. And that voice...well. Don't even get me started. It's so completely genuine and he's able to connect anyone who listens to him with whatever emotion he wants you to feel. That's powerful stuff.

2. John Taylor (Duran Duran) - I've always had a weakness for bass players, and I believe this is where that all started. You people who think I have it bad for Michael Johns...you don't even know what bad is. John Taylor was like, it for much of my young life. And, amazingly, after doing more coke than any other member of Duran Duran, he managed to hang on to his looks well into the new millennium. However, when I saw him not too long ago at the Concert for Diana, he looked like the Crypt Keeper. I don't know what the hell happened. Well, the Double D is touring again so I'm hoping to get tickets to one of the NYC shows and get a better look at my old flame. And if his looks are officially gone, well, we'll always have Rio.

(Note: I imposed a rule on myself to only allow one member per band, so Simon LeBon didn't make the list. But he was damn sexy, too. Don't go thinking otherwise.)

3. Billy Idol - I know he's kind of ridiculous, but I have to put him high up on my list. He is really the first guy (aside from a brief attraction to David Lee Roth) that I remember thinking was "sexy." You know, when you go from little teenybopper who thinks boys are cute to being like, "Whoa, what the hell is happening to my body right now. Are you there God? It's me, BeckEye!" Anyway, he was so hot back in the '80s. I know he looks a bit "weathered" these days, but I'd still hop on the back of his bike if he asked me. Or maybe we could steal a car and go to Las Vegaaaaas.

4. Michael Johns - You knew he would be on this list. Are you surprised that he's this high up? I'm sorry, he had to be. I can not stop looking at the guy. I keep watching his videos on YouTube, I keep looking up info about him online, I keep waiting outside his apartment in the bushes...it's crazy.

5. Chris Cornell (Soundgarden/Audioslave) - I have to admit to not liking Chris at first. When he had that massive mane of hair, I just thought he looked like Cousin It. I don't think I could ever see his face. Then, when Soundgarden came out with Superunknown, he cut his hair and holy good moly, I was stunned. And the boy can sing. He should do porn movie soundtracks because...my goodness. Come on, listen to the beginning of "Burden in my Hand" and tell me you wouldn't follow him into the desert. I'd be like, "Well, I lost my canteen and there's no water for miles but, oh, what the hell." (Side note: He looks very much like Nicky Katt in this picture. When he runs out of beer, he's gonna start kicking some ass.)

6. Michael Hutchence (INXS) - Even though I always had the biggest crush on INXS's drummer, Jon Farriss, he was almost too good looking. I always had a thought in the back of my head that he was probably a giant ass. I have to give the "sexy" edge to Michael. He was kind of soft spoken but very charismatic, with that unique voice and the slinky, snake-like moves. And what about those lips? What a sad day it was when this beautiful man left us.

7. Dierks Bentley - "Oh no," shriek the indie snobs. "A country artist! Ewwww!" Look, I don't care what kind of music you listen to. This guy would be hot in any genre. He's another one who upped his hotness factor after cutting his hair, although I have to say that I wouldn't be too upset if he went back to all those messy curls.

8. Jeff Buckley - Jeff was another amazing talent who left us too soon. God, what a voice. It was like Robert Plant, Freddie Mercury and the Vienna Boys Choir all thrown into an ultra hot blender. The first time I ever heard "Lover, You Should Have Come Over," I hadn't even seen a picture of Jeff. I didn't even know what he looked like and I wanted to have his children after hearing that song. Then I got a gander at him and thought that if I did ever have kids with him, they'd be at the sitter's a lot.

9. Jon Bon Jovi - It's strange that when Bon Jovi was in their heyday, and at the height of my fandom, I was always more of a Richie girl. Richie was awesome. But, as the years went by it became very clear who was the hottest of the two. Jon cut his hair and got about 50% better looking. Richie refused to even trim that horrible metal shag. Jon became a family man and a super DILF. Richie dated Cher. Then he cheated on Heather Locklear. Then he went to rehab. Then he drove drunk with his daughter in the car. All this while Jon's teeth seemed to keep getting bigger and whiter. You win, Jon Bon. You win.

10. Glenn Tilbrook (Squeeze/solo charmer) - Sure, he's 50 now but I really don't care. He's still adorable and so charming in that ultra-British way. (That's part of why he's not further up this list - I always found him more "cute" than "hot.") Plus, he can sing anything and make it sound like the most beautiful thing in the world. I'll always love that blonde floppy-front 'do that he wore in the late '80s, and the messy, curly locks that he often sported in the early days of Squeeze. Hey...did I ever tell you all about the time I met Glenn??? It bears repeating. Heh.

11. Lindsey Buckingham (Fleetwood Mac/solo) - Lindsey was the only guy who ever effectively pulled off the white man 'fro. As much as I love Stevie Nicks, the first thought that pops into my head when I think of her or Fleetwood Mac is, "Why in the hell did that crazy, coked-up, white witch leave him?? For Mick Fleetwood, no less!"

12. Paul Rodgers (Free/Bad Company/Queen/solo) - Okay, this may seem like a strange one, because Paul isn't exactly one of the best looking guys around. But it's that voice. He is, hands down, THE best rock singer. Ever. EV-ER. And talk about someone who should be doing porno soundtracks...I mean, "Burnin' Sky?" That is the sexiest song I've ever heard in my life. And it's about a friggin' prison break! How is that sexy?? It's not. But Paul makes it sexy. I often fear that if I listen to too much Bad Company, he could actually impregnate me through sound waves.

13. Bruce Springsteen - Well, yeah. This guy is 100 years old and he's still got it. Okay, okay, so he's not 100. But, he's pushing 60 I think. And he still looks great. Anyone wondering how he stays in such great shape obviously hasn't been to one of his concerts. Bruce's energy is boundless. And his sex appeal comes from the fact that he's like an ordinary guy with a great, fun attitude and just amazing talent and passion dripping from every pore. Yeah, Bruce is still hot.

14. Ryan Adams - Um, I don't know why I'm attracted to Ryan Adams. It must be the disheveled hair, the "troubled, moody bad boy" reputation and his obvious shitload of issues. He's kind of like something made out of Bruce Springsteen's and Eddie Vedder's spare parts.


15. Josh Homme
(Queens of the Stone Age) - This one is even more perplexing. He's a redhead! I don't normally like redheads but there's something about him. He's got great arms. And he always kind of molests the microphone when he's singing.



So, there you have it, ladies...my Foxy 15. And, to the nice gents who actually made it all the way through this post, ha ha! I bet you're gay now, if you already weren't!

I don't usually keep these tags going, but I will be happy to keep this meme alive. There can never be too many posts about hot boys, right? So - Beth, Barbara B., Guv, Falwless and Red...get crack'a'lackin'!

34 comments:

Bloody Awful Poetry said...

the beckeye approves of the tag! Yay!I'll be more than happy to come up with a few more like this one, you know.

Oooh yours ees mucho interesting. Point of view of a whole other generation.

Oh I forgot Jeff Buckley. Darrrn. I mentioned him. And then I forgot him!!

I actually had a list of 30 hot musician boys. But I regained my sanity and cut it down by half.

Bit I'm glad you enjoyed it! It's an honour, really =)

Angell said...

Absolutely YUMMY choices. I met Billy Idol last year and those abs are STILL smoking.

Now to go for my cold shower...

Falwless said...

Oh wow. I'm not even sure I can name 15 bands. Let's see, there's the Jackson 5, Bel Biv Devoe, that guy, oh crap, what was his name.. man, this is gonna bug me.. you know, with the long hair and he was all like "OOooh becaaaause you looooved meeeee"??? Hold on, never mind. I googled it. That was Celine Dion.

I'll have to give this some thought.

Red said...

My first meme tag. Ahhhh.

Thank for this. I had nothing to post about today :)

Gifted Typist said...

And didn't Eddie Vedder white a song for a that US veteran who is protesting the war in Iraq. Gotta love a cute, talented, funny rock icon with a brain and a conscience.

What good taste you have BeckEye.

Gifted Typist said...

It's the first of the month.
Where's our Fire Crotch????

Historical Wit said...

I am hitting you with a six word mission, check my blog for details.

Hmmmm, being a guy, my choices for hot sexy male singers may be a little date or just plain fucked up, but I am a guy who is all about his girls. But I would like to throw out some honorable mentions.

Ok since this is musicians, what about Prince? Isn't he a sexy piece of ass? I know I would. Just saying, he a great musician and he is pretty sexy...

Frank Sinatra, not old Frank either, I am talkin that 1950's Frank. All man. Different generation tho, that kind of appeal isn't as universal as it once was.

Hey no love for Robert Plant? Just wondering...

You mean to tell me you didn't want to get a hand on a member of Duran Duran? No Simon?

Alright, this is the way back machine here, but I always thought Glenn Miller was sexy. You know sexy for the 40's.

And last but not least, what about Hank Williams III? Just wondering.

CDP said...

Very good list. I was getting worried about a possible omission of Bruce Springsteen, but you got him in there at the end. Nice work. I notice you tagged the Guv'ner. With Rod Stewart, The Proclaimers, and the Bay City Rollers, that leaves her with seven more. Has Sean Connery ever released a record, that would be eight. What about Bono, is he Irish or Scottish (assuming there's any difference?)

Bond said...

And I am not sure one of them surprises me - except the crack about Bruce's age...c'mon girl....

SkylersDad said...

What? No Boy George?!

r cubed said...

No Axl?! or Slash? I may just have to tag myself for this meme.

The Guv'ner said...

I'm going to ignore that beeyotch, cdp. Rod fucking Stewart indeed. Did someone PAY you to say that? Hmmm. I'm willing to guess who.

I'm impressed you have Glenn on there because I had a crush on him when i was kid too! He has a great voice and "Up The Junction" is my fave Squeeze song ever, and that's one of his vocals. And Dierks was cuter WITH the hair I thought, but hell, he's ok anyway.

I don't think I could pick 15. I haven't crushed on a rock star since I was 16 or something :)

I will give it some thought though.

Keith Kennedy said...

Most of us boys don't think too much about sexy male musicians - but I will say that #12 was dead on when you said Paul Rogers was the best vocalist ever.

Scott Booker said...

Hey!!! Whats up??? I can play a mean "Recorder" - why am I not on this list???

Alice said...

i saw billy idol live about 2 years ago. he started taking off his shirt and i was all "oh man. that's just embarrassing, billy, please don't --- oh. well. ok then. as you were."

Anonymous said...

Ok I just have to pipe in here. You know I love ya, but I do believe you have lost your mind putting that dipshit from AI on the list BEFORE CHRIS CORNELL!!?? Are you retarded? I think it's a great list, but that MJ cat belongs much closer to the bottom. I do believe the tv waves are rotting your popbrain! But I love you anyway. Angela :)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

A Beckeye-approved meme and I get to play along? Woot! I shall start cutting down my list to 15 post haste.

I hope you don't mind if I throw in the odd 112-pounder, seeing as you didn't.

Bluez said...

TV Guide's power ranking: Your boy is the dark horse!

Top 9 Idol Power Rankings
48.1% David Cook
18.7% David Archuleta
11.1% Michael Johns
9.2% Brooke White
6.1% Carly Smithson
4.2% Jason Castro (his lowest ranking to date)
1.1% Kristy Lee Cook
0.8% Ramiele Malubay
0.6% Syesha Mercado


BTW: Jeff Buckley (if her were alive) is MINE!

Grant Miller said...

Wait. Why wasn't I included?

Red said...

And, hey! What's wrong with redheads?!?!

Mike said...

Sorry. Cant contribute. Major case of snark coming on.

Beth said...

This is gonna be fun. So glad you tagged me!

Cleo said...

This is a nice list. I like the reasoning you gave for each of your choices, which gives some insight into your personality.

As for me, I'm not normally attracted to redheads, either, but Axl Rose would definitely be #1 on my list... Robert Plant (Led Zep) and Philip Anselmo (Pantera) would be on there, too... Beyond them, I don't know... I'd have to think about it... And right now I need to conserve my brain power for recapping another mind-numbing episode of Idol. Heh. I'm looking forward to reading your recap when the show's over.

doorknob_dan said...

Where's Gene Simmons on this list??

And what happened to Ludwig Von Beethoven, all-time's #1 sexiest man, musician or not?

Gad Beckeye, you're blind!

Slave to the dogs said...

Most excellent choices. I just would have swapped Vedder and Cornell because I'm an amazon and Eddie's a munchkin.

BeckEye said...

BAP - "Point of view of a whole other generation." Way to make me feel super old, kid!!

Angell - Yeah, his face has kind of gotten ultra bony these days, but I'd still do him.

Falwless - Celine is HOT. The way she punches her chest during "My Heart Will Go On?" Delicious.

Red - You're welcome!

GT - Eddie can really do no wrong in my eyes. And there will be a firecrotch soon. Patience.

Historical Wit - I did mention a memeber of Duran Duran...John Taylor was #2! I love Simon too, but just one band member per list. As far as Prince...noooo. I do not think he's sexy, even if he's sure that he is. But that reminds me, I should've given a shout-out to LL Cool J.

CDP - Damn, forgot about the Bay City Rollers! :)

Bond - Hey, he looks damn good for almost 60. He'll probably look the same when he gets to 100.

Skylers Dad - Give me time...to realize my crime...

R Cubed - Duff would get an honorable mention. He almost made the list.

Guv - Lock the Uberlord in his office and start working on this list immediately. You can even do it as a PowerPoint presentation, if that helps. And Glenn Tilbrook is SO charming in person. 'Cause I met him. Did I mention that? Yeah, I met Glenn Tilbrook.

Keith - Damn straight!

Scott - Gee, I forgot that guy from Jethro Tull too.

Alice - Ha ha. I remember hearing about a show he did in Pittsburgh where he grabbed this girl's hand in the front row and started rubbing his crotch with it. I remember being extremely jealous of that girl.

Angela - Oh, stifle yourself. Chris Cornell is getting a bit greasy looking these days. He's lucky I still have him at #5.

Barbara - Thom Yorke can only be used once.

Bluez - In that case, I feel like saddling up and going for a ride!

Grant - I know you play a mean flute-o-phone, but it's not really a sexy instrument.

Red - Female redheads usually look great. Male redheads always look a bit like Howdy Doody.

Mike - Sounds like someone's not comfortable with his sexuality.

Beth - Michael Stipe can only be used once.

Cleo - I used to have kind of weird thing for Axl too, but Duff was "sexier." I dressed as Axl one Halloween!

Dan - Ludwig was a stone cold fox, but those ruffled shirts just didn't do it for me.

Slave - Munchkin!? How dare you! Alright, you and me, outside, tomorrow at high noon.

Writeprocrastinator said...

What about Meatloa...

...okay, I can't go through with this bit.

Anonymous said...

Actually Jon Farriss, by all accounts and I mean almost every single account, past and present, is that he is a huge sweetheart. His mama raised him right. So that made his almost too good to be true looks back in the day even hotter and he is still a hot looking man.

genn6 said...

I was a Simon-girl but JT was a close second. I'll give you Lindsey, Hutchence and Josh Homme, and I'll raise you Trent Reznor, Bono, Prince and Axl Rose.

FranIAm said...

I used to be a bit of a Durannie in my own right and so loooooooooved John Taylor.

Now if you bear in mind that I am 50, you can do the math and realize that I was not actually age appropriate for this.

Deep sigh.

Tony Alva said...

First time commentor here Beckeye...

I'm not into guys, but I dragged my wife to see Paul Rodgers at Music Midtown years ago and she was glad I did. She was oogling him the whole time and never agained complained about me cranking Bad Co. et al again.

He has the greatest rock voice ever!!!

Anonymous said...

HOW COULD YOU NOT PUT IN BRANDON BOYD OF INCUBUS HE IS NUMBER 1 ON MY LIST AND HE IS THE SEXIEST MAN IN THE WORLD AND AN AMAZING SINGER IN THE BEST BAND EVER I JUST LOVE HIM!!!!

Anonymous said...

No Tom Petty?

Anonymous said...

OMG the hottest male rocker has to be GW Williams, oh man he makes me shake and quiver.
He's so cute and plays guitar the best ever and what a singer...oh la la

bye now Cindy lane

 

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