Monday, March 10, 2008

Caption Crotch-test Contest #8

You must be this big to ride this ride.


And there's this month's winning caption, provided by someone named Tootsie, who I swear I've never met before.

Okay, the jig is up. For those of you who don't pay attention to my siblings' nicknames, Tootsie's my sister. But, this contest wasn't rigged! A few other commenters helped me choose the winner by casting their votes for her caption. Frankly, I'm pretty surprised that she won. I've known her all my life and, believe me, she's not really that funny. You'd think she'd hate me for getting all the looks, brains and humor, but she gets all the men, so it balances out. Oh, and she has a perfect nose.

So, congratulations Toots. Since you're not a blogger, I will have to make you an Easter bonnet with all these badges upon it, and you'll be the grandest firecrotch in the Easter parade.

33 comments:

SkylersDad said...

The mannequin behind me is anatomically correct, and his unit is this big!

Edge said...

If I open this wide it's WAY too big for his penis to fit inside.

~Jef

doorknob_dan said...

"I should really get some sleep this week. Ehhh, nahhhh, I'll just keep on fucking everybody instead. I'll sleep when I'm dead."

Beckeye,
Can we do multiple entries? This was just my warmup!

BeckEye said...

Dan - Sure. I would put a capper on them somewhere around 100 though. Er, on second thought, maybe around 5. Just to be fair to everyone.

Then again, I never did put a limit on the amount of times you can enter, so I'm not sure why mostly everyone just enters once.

You're off to a good start, by the way.

doorknob_dan said...

[in a hushed British accent]
As we can see from this footage from Guinea, in the wild the common baboon exhibits remarkably human characteristics such as yawning.

And also like many humans, females of this species of baboon exhibit unusually large reproductive organs which signify their virility and readiness for mating.

Unfortunately for this particular baboon, she was eaten by a leopard mere moments after this photograph was taken.

Gifted Typist said...

Public orgasms for Dummies

doorknob_dan said...

Secretly, Kim would ingest large amounts of air to refill her posterior when it would get low. No one would ever know the dirty little secret that she kept between herself and Acme Co. about her inflatable ass.

Scott Booker said...

"YAWN!!! Wow...having sweet nothings whispered to me by a mannequin is almost as boring as my last video I shot with Ray J."

katrocket said...

"Well, they don't just inflate themselves, you know."

Suze said...

Hoe Hoe Hoe

Historical Wit said...

Geez it makes me tired carrying all this ass around. I wonder if that gentleman with the beard will hollow me out along with the rest of these male dildos in this store? I bet they will. I guess I should get a nap....

Grant Miller said...

I bet it has something to do w/ Bruce Jenner.

Bond said...

"yes guys, I can take you both in at the same time...see?"

Bond said...

"Touring these South East Asian sweatshops is just so tiring, next time can we just send Nicole?"

Slave to the dogs said...

All this talk of my ass bores me. Focus on the tits, people!

M@ said...

Oh, god, who cares!

Tootsie815 said...

You must be this big to ride this ride.

Distributorcap said...

kim" honey you are as boring as my tits!

Bluez said...

But my lips hurt real bad!!

Dale said...

Kim's actually going waaaaaaaaaah! at what the mannequin's whispering in her ear: my tits have less plastic in them than yours.

The Moviequill said...

Kim takes some time to practice her dentist visit for later that afternoon.

doorknob_dan said...

Take a close look gentlemen - if you're not careful, your peezer might end up in there one day.

Manx said...

"Oooouuuch! It burns when I peeeee."


Although I'm in it to win, I would have to cast my vote for Tootsie815's entry. That had me chuckling for a while.

Alice said...

HAAAAA. before i even come up with something, i'd like to cast a vote for katrocket and tootsie. heh. hah. hehehe.

Alice said...

screw it, there's no way i'm coming up with anything better than those 2 :-)

Writeprocrastinator said...

"Uh-oh, I better move around or I'll be mistaken for a mannequin again."

Writeprocrastinator said...

"I'm tired of the sound of all that air escaping from my ears, so I'll just let it out of my mouth this time."

Turnbaby said...

Oh no way can I top Tootsie's!! LMAO

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Well done, Tootsie! You pretty much rule!

David Amulet said...

A very good selection. Kudos, Toots!

Bond said...

Great caption Tootsie....

M@ said...

That's hot.

Tootsie said...

I'm so thrilled to win this prestigious award....now I can snub my perfect nose at the world and put a replica next to my bed for all my "guys" to see. Thank you one and all for voting for me, you like me....you really like me.

Tootsie

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine