Monday, April 28, 2008

What Irks The Most

Do you know what annoys me the most about all of these teen TV drama series?

It's not the requisite bad acting or the dialogue that's even too grown-up for thirtysomethings.

It's not that these kids always have time for sex. And it's not that, against all odds, all of these 16 - 18 year-olds who probably think a "vulva" is just a car that they wouldn't be caught dead in are somehow having such mind-blowing, steamy, sensual sex at all times. It's not even that none of this sex can ever be had with someone outside of their small circle of friends.

It's not that no one ever wears the same outfit twice.

It's not that pretty much everyone is rich and even the kids from the wrong side of the tracks still drive to school (the bus is only for freshmen) and wear all the latest fashions.

No, what bugs me the most is how damn early these kids get up for school. I mean, seriously. They must all get up at 3 am! Did you ever notice that they all seem to have time to shower, do their hair, put on their fiercest ensemble, check their email, send several text messages, have breakfast, fight with their parents, uncover a family and/or friend's secret, mope around about it, call their BFF, pick said BFF up in their awesome convertible, stop by Starbucks for a latte, stand around and talk about the big secret, start a rumor, check email again, drop their party clothes off at the dry cleaner's, do some window shopping, and then get to school with enough time to finish that report, strut around the hall, spot an ex making out with the new girl/boy, make plans for later that night, and get to homeroom right before the bell rings?

I can suspend my disbelief for all the other stuff, but that whole extended morning ritual is just too unrealistic. No one gets up that early for school. Especially if they're getting laid three times a day, every day, and going out underage drinking every night.


Bubs said...

I had always wondered what it was about those shows that bothered me. Now I know.

You hit it right on the head.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

But they don't need sleep, they're 17. They just don't even bother going to bed after coming home from having hot monkey sex with other gorgeous 17 year olds. Bastards.

X. Dell said...

Well, if you're looking for realism, perhaps Loony Tunes would fit the bill.

I agree with you that a lot of the things we see on TV are so hyperbolic all the time that it all seems like really bad, unimaginative fantasy.

Gifted Typist said...

Ah, the joys of TV network youth

Anonymous said...

Brenda Walsh always needed her sleep to keep up with that Kelly. Oh whoa - flashback - sorry!

katrocket said...

I'm pretty sure they film all the school scenes at night. All those other kids are just extras.

Anonymous said...

Thats why I watch "The Hills" they're over 21 have jobs and still go to school and dress fiercely while hitting the hotspots in LA every night. Must be a California thang.

Red said...

Seriously. I was lucky if I made it to High School in something other than my pajamas.

cube said...

Warp drive is more credible.

Bond said...

I just want to know how they get laid three times a day....damn...took me to 20 to get that!

doorknob_dan said...

Kids these days have better time management and focus than us.

I'd have sex 20 times a day, but I'm all over the place. Never finish one completely and then I'm onto the next one, and so on.

My life coach tells me I need to finish one first then move on to the next one. It's kind of my lifelong personal goal to be able to do that.

fran said...

How do they manage all that before school? Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Travis said...

Well now that's a totally different way to be annoyed by these programs. I'd never thought of it that way.

My irritation with these programs is that the kids all seem to speak some strange language that doesn't make any sense, which reminds me that somewhere along the way I've become the old guy.

Beth said...

You don't?


Artful Dodger said...

They must be on speed. It was a miracle if I could get up 20 mins before school started. Same applies now for work too.

Anonymous said...

You're just jealous.

Marsha Brady

David Amulet said...

Answer: They are robots.

That also explains the horrible dialogue delivery.


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