Thursday, June 26, 2008

This Just In: Kanye West Still an Asshole

Kanye West is mad as hell, and he's not gonna take it anymore!

Borrowing a page from Axl Rose's Book of Self-Righteous Self-Absorbtion, Kanye is taking umbrage at criticism thrown at him stemming from his performance at Bonnaroo, for which he showed up nearly two hours late.

Without even getting into the sheer ridunkulousness of Kanye West being scheduled after Pearl Jam, the whiny rapper claims that his tardiness is the fault of festival organizers, who couldn't load his stage quickly enough after taking down PJ's set. There also seemed to be an inference that maybe it was partially Pearl Jam's fault, because they played for an hour longer than scheduled. (Note: It's not their fault that they're awesome and the fans can't stand to see them go.)

Let's do the math here. According to festival spokesman Ken Weinstein, Pearl Jam's June 15th set ended at 1:15 am. Kanye's set was scheduled for 2:45 am. He didn't take the stage until 4:25 am. Now, I've been to a lot of concerts in my day, and sometimes the intermission between acts seems like it takes forever. But I have never heard of it taking 3 hours and 10 minutes to set up a stage. That's longer than most concerts last! Also, I've seen Pearl Jam five times. Their set is not that complicated. So, something is definitely fishy with all of that.

Kanye's claim is that the festival organizers are "idiots who didn't really have the capacity to really put on this show properly." Apparently, "this show" is set up as a glow-in-the-dark, sci-fi concept piece, featuring a spaceship and a "Jane screen," whose femme-bot voice speaks to Kanye. Hmm, sounds a lot like Plankton's wife, Karen, on Spongebob Squarepants.

Defending the festival, Weinstein issued the statement that,"Our world-class event production team strives to accommodate the needs of every performer." What he didn't say, but really wished he could was, "But, y'know, Bonnaroo is generally played by artists who actually care about the quality of their MUSIC. And it's generally attended by fans of said MUSIC. Maybe if this jerkoff stopped thinking about himself for a damn second and realized that he was a small part of a large, renowned festival that features many other artists, he might, just for one night, forego staging a giant production for a bunch of tired, sweaty, drunk people who really don't give a shit about all the bells and whistles, and just come out onstage and fricking perform already, like he's getting paid to do."

Pissed off festival-goers greeted Kanye's arrival with chants of "Kanye sucks," some booing and airborne beer bottles, and fellow festival performer Robert Randolph later criticized Kanye onstage for disappointing his fans. Because of all this, and since no one at Bonnaroo stood up for him, Kanye wrote the following on his website: "This Bonnaroo thing is the worst insult I've ever had in my life. This is the most offended I've ever been ... this is the maddest I ever will be."

Kanye, I thought what didn't kill you just made you stronger? Why dwell?

And, really, this is the most offended you've ever been? Seriously? Even more than when Bush said that he didn't care about black people? (Well, he never said that, but he really didn't need to.) Or all those times you didn't win a Grammy because someone better than you did? Or that day you tried to go through the express line at the grocery store, but that disrespectful bitch of a cashier told you that you had, like, 33 items and expected you to move to another line? Or that time that dude cut you off in traffic, and then he had the nerve to call 911 when you ran him off the road and started beating his car with a tire iron? Come on, something had to have been worse than this.

And this is not the maddest you will ever be. Don't underestimate the number of people out there unwilling to kiss your ass and give you whatever you want. Your days of complaining aren't over by a long shot. Have faith.


J.C. said...

Funny...I was going to blog about this since Bonnaroo is in Manchester, TN and every year it "f's" up the traffic on the interstate. He's a jerk! At least Pearl Jam played an extra hour! YAY!!

Falwless said...

I read his defensive entry on his blog yesterday. You know, I am so back and forth with this cat. Part of me wants to hate him for being such a whining asshole narcissist, and then part of me thinks, you know, you go on with your huge cajones, you're just saying the shit every other self-absorbed entertainer doesn't have the balls to say...

I dunno.

Bond said...

See I blame the concert organizers for booking this no talent jerk in the first place...

just saying...

Beth said...

Slap that silly bitch, Becks!

Anonymous said...

Kanye West hates Pearl Jam!


Dr Zibbs said...

He is in the top 10 of all Music jerks. I hereby crown him, King of the Jerks. It sounds easy to do but I had to go through alot of red tape to move that title through that quickly.

pistols at dawn said...

That show is for hippies anyway. Who cares about angry hippies? And how angry do hippies really get?

fran said...

Kanye is definitely in the Music Jerk elite. He's up there with Pete Doherty, Liam Gallagher, Chris Carrabba and that dude from Third Eye Blind who would be pissed that I can't remember his name. We also need a list of musicians who are Far Too Sullen.

*Kanye technically was not billed ahead of PJ because they ended the festival day proper and he was a "late night" performer.

FranIAm said...

The great Beckeye has spoken!

And Kanye better watch out!

Anonymous said...

yeah and why is he playing at Bonnaroo anyway? That concert is for Jam bands for cripes sake. They probably would have chanted you suck even if he was on time.

Writeprocrastinator said...

You missed the obvious, you should've said "c'mon Kanye. Won't this make you stronger?"

bloody awful poetry said...

Kanye is a jerk of most humongously huge proportions.
And yeah. why on earth was he at Bonnaroo in the first place?

CDP said...

Excellent. He's really talented, but when I read about how "offended" he was, I thought dude, when are you NOT offended? I Love the Plankton reference (but I bet Kanye would be REALLY offended)

BeckEye said...

J.C. - But I didn't get to see the mammoth 3 hour Pearl Jam set. BOO!

Fal - Off my blog, Kanye sympathizer!

Bond - So, you're saying they're idiots? That's what Kanye said! Off my blog, Kanye sympathizer!

Beth - Off my blog...oh, wait. Sorry, I got carried away with my evil dictatorship for a minute.

Knot - He hates what he fears. And he fears that which is better than him.

Dr. Zibbs - Thanks for taking it upon yourself to do that.

Pistols - Take their weed away. You'll find out really quickly.

Fran - Stephan Jenkins. Taaa-daaa. I thought he was cute when Third Eye Blind first hit the scene, but pretty soon after that I was like, "Wow, this guy is a giant douchebag." Don't even get me started on that prick Liam Gallagher.

FranIAm - Yes, I have Mr. T on my side.

Bluez - Yeah, it was a very odd booking to say the least.

WP - May I point you to, "Kanye, I thought what didn't kill you just made you stronger? Why dwell?"

BAP - I don't think that question will ever be answered.

CDP - But Kanye really is a lot like Plankton. People talk loud when they want to look smart, right? "CORRECT!!!"

evil-e said...

That guy just sucks anyway....I hate rappers

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Nicely ranted! You give great rant, girl!

LoraLoo said...

Kanye West soooo needs to get over himself. He's just not all that.

Alice said...

my sister was there! she and her friends waited around for 2 hours for him to play, and finally gave up and went to sleep. she says every fan there was PISSED THE HELL OFF. and that it was not a "set" issue. and that by the time he did finally play (according to ppl who did wait around for it) he had this huge fancy light show that was ruined because he waited so long that DAWN BROKE.

genn6 said...

I agree with Alice. The festival organizers said they had worked out a way to put together Kanye's elaborate stage set in a reasonable amount of time while they were in the planning stages...That's also why Kanye played last, they could take their time taking the stage down. The stage was set, idiot just didn't take to it until way too late.


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