Friday, August 08, 2008

Caption Crotch-test Contest #13

In the awkward silence that follows, everybody tries to pretend that Samantha Ronson did not just say "My girlfriend's dress is mad sparkly, yo!"


This month's winning caption belongs to Deadspot! Congrats, dude. You benefit from Pistols' conspicuous absence in this month's contest.

Those of you who don't think this caption is funny...well, you can suck it. Obviously, most of you think that crudeness is the way to my heart but, while I enjoy a good tuna joke as much as anyone, I really am a sucker for ridunkulousness, general stupidity, and puns. And the image of any white, British chick using the term "mad sparkly" is just ridunkulous enough for me to laugh my little white, American arse off. So there you have it.

This month's runners up are:

Lindsay Lohan and friends at the red carpet premiere of "Herpes Rides Again." - Katrocket

Well girls, if we cut the carrot into quarters we have more than enough food for the weekend. - The mysterious "Matt W."

Samantha Ronson answers the question, "How many people knew you even existed before you started nailing Lindsay Lohan?" - Words, Words, Words (or Fran, Fran, Fran)

I also have to give props to Alice and Paticus, who were the only ones who ignored the shiny celebutards and zeroed in on the best part of the picture - random girl on the right's ridunkulous retro ensemble.

And Jef/Knot gets a shout-out from the BFF, who thought his bit about the rug munching relays was a hoot.

Well done, people who didn't win. You get nothing!!

Deadspot, however, gets the most coveted award in all of Blogdom...



Fo shizzle, doggie fizzle. You go wit' your mad captioning skillz!

35 comments:

Knot said...

Our U.S. Olympic hopefuls for the 1600 rug munching relays.

Knot

SkylersDad said...

Uh huh, that's right. These are the two fingers that have been in famous cooter! Wanna smell?


OK, so that's a tad over the top, but it was the first thought I had...

Barbara Bruederlin said...

It's so much better being a lesbian; I am totally the hottest one in the crowd now, all the time.


Ah crap, Pistol's going win again.

evil-e said...

Pictured here are the latest additions to the MENSA hall of fame.

4 NASA engineers out on the town on a Friday night...see how they roll.

I will study the photo some more. I want to up my honorable mention to a victory this time.

Kristi Mantoni said...

"Yo! I got the bitches!"

First attempt

Flannery Alden said...

Will the real lesbian please stand up?

BeckEye said...

Ok, so all of these captions so far are pretty specifically about lesbianism. Think outside the box, people. And by box, I mean box. You know. Vaj.

katrocket said...

Lindsay Lohan and friends at the red carpet premiere of Herpes Rides Again.

deadspot said...

Ow, crap! Hand cramp! Hand cramp!

Paticus said...

"OMG! I cannot believe that BITCH wore the same thing you did !!! You totally look better in lime green than she does, though!"
"Yeah, and you ROCK that headband!"

poobomber said...

The members of "Divine Ya Ya Sisterhood of the Traveling Alcoholic Whore Pants", circa 2003.

Gifted Typist said...

New Girl-on-Girl Band:

Lindsay No-Man and the Crotchettes

Beth said...

A new twist on the tuna casserole








[I'm sorry for the crudeness, but I couldn't stop myself.]

Doc said...

"The ones in the hats are the Butch ones."

"How many butts are being grabbed as this photo was shot?"

"No matter how this goes down, KY Inc. is going to make ten dollars."

"We all did it in the limo..."

"The cocktails really helped me to relax and enjoy the whole experience. I would recommend it to friends."

"Are you my OBGYN?"

"Pay no attention. It always smells like that."

"Ohhhhh, you hands are cold!"

"Where did you learn Braille?"

"Okay, find the key to my house!"

"They are ALL glad to see me! I can tell!"

"This is so great, I peed a little!"

"Is that your mom? She's hot!"

"I hope you have cab fare..."

"Tastes like chicken."

"Does anyone have floss? I've got a hair stuck in my teeth."

I'm sorry. These are in VERY poor taste, but the only shot I have at this is to go too far. I have been trying to win this for months and I can't even muster an honorable mention.

Doc

Dale said...

Babyshambles featuring The PussySnatch Dolls.

evil-e said...

Hey, you in the yellow, smell these....Summer's Eve or Listerine?

Dr Zibbs said...

"That right. It's two in the pink...one in the stink."

Bond said...

The understudies for High School Musical 23 stand in the wings sending voodoo chants and evil curses to the stars hoping for their chance on stage.

The Bitchgurlz from east coast stare down their rivals before the rumble begins

Without blinking an eye the mysterious stranger bid on another washed up Hollywood has-been to add to his/her collection

Matt W said...

1. Help Wanted : IOC Olympic Drug Testers seek coked up girls
to test new drug detection software.

2. Only after entering the brothel Stan realised he had a choice to make.

3. Well girls, if we cut the carrot into quarters we have more than enough food for the weekend.

words words words said...

Samantha Ronson answers the question, "How many people knew you even existed before you started nailing Lindsay Lohan?"

deadspot said...

In the awkward silence that follows, everybody tries to pretend that Samantha Ronson did not just say "My girlfriend's dress is mad sparkly, yo!"

Slave to the dogs said...

Don't mess with the pussy posse, Paris!

Slave to the dogs said...

Call my girlfriend a firecrotch again, biotch!

*Renee* said...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm look at that fine bitch! And I thought the one to my right (or left) was the "ONE" for me.

Alice said...

"god damn it. i wear a fucking neon green wife beater with a bedazzled headband just to get some attention, and these bitches have to show up and steal my limelight. AGAIN."

words words words said...

Yay, I almost won! Seeing as it's Olympic season and all, I want a bronze medal. THX.

Matteo said...

Mystery Solved, Matt W now has a Blog Account, i was too lazy to make one prior.

ps - Thanks for the runners up nomination

Cheers

Matt W

Dale said...

Yay Deadspot!

katrocket said...

Congratualtions, deadspot... and I'm just so honoured to be honourably mentioned. Thanks Beckeye!

mellowlee said...

Haha, well done Deadspot :O)

Cormac Brown said...

Not that I stood a chance, but I just want to not, repeat, not thank Computer Associates for shutting me out of this altogether by banning this blog on my mother-in-law's computer as being "adult."

Congrats to Spot!

Dr Zibbs said...

Fixed

deadspot said...

You're too kind, Becks. This is totally unexpected. After reading Katrocket's contribution, I was just playing for the silver.

*Renee* said...

LOL you guys are too funny!!!

pistols at dawn said...

True, I didn't enter, because I was on vacation. But I don't think I would have topped that line anyway.

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine