Finally, Someone More Annoying Than Paris Hilton

There is this chick who seems to be on my TV constantly these days. She is the most obnoxious person I think I have ever seen in my life. I loathe her, despite the fact that I don't even know her name.

You may have seen her too - this broad in the Secret Flawless deodorant commercial* who is walking down the street with her arms up in the air like she in da club, and generally being a menace to all passersby. She walks past some suit and commands him to give her a high five, then giggles and squeakily boasts, "I didn't even know that guy!" (I'll bet she's said that on a lot of hungover mornings.) Then, she hails a cab like a complete spaz and, after the guy stops, she's like, "No thanks, I'd rather walk." Yeah. Let's see her try that in New York for real. A cabbie wouldn't think twice about running her skinny little ass over.

I don't know why I hate this woman so much. She's either just that annoying, or I'm becoming a rage-a-holic. Whatever the case may be, I know this. If I ever see her on the street, I am going to rip her arms off. Then we'll see how damn good she smells.


*I was going to link the video for anyone who hadn't seen it yet, but I can't seem to find it. Apparently, everyone else hates it too, possibly even Procter & Gamble who haven't even bothered to slap the ad up on YouTube for some fast, free publicity.

Comments

David Amulet said…
Ooooh, I know what you mean. She is a bad, bad girl--and not in a "good" way.

The annoyance level of this ad is up there with Seasonique. Don't remember it? I wrote about it last fall, maybe you'll remember it from my description ...
8/26/2008 6:58 PM
Anonymous said…
I hope you become a rage-a-holic. That's awesome. As a reader.
8/26/2008 7:11 PM
Anonymous said…
Feed the rage....
I have seen this commercial and I agree, she is not good. She is most annoying. I hope her underarms break out in a burning uncomfortable rash.
8/26/2008 10:33 PM
paperback reader said…
There's going to be this day in the near future where you just kill someone because you hate the song you heard on the way to work hours ago. I think you need to let this one go...or start recording everything so you never see commercials.
8/26/2008 10:36 PM
Anonymous said…
I HATE that commercial! I want to throw something at the tv every time I see it. I always wish the cop would shoot her.
8/26/2008 11:21 PM
Happy Villain said…
Oh, thank you! I thought it was just me. I keep watching and hoping she has some kind of hideous arm-amputation accident, which would be awesome! When-oh-when are the parodies going to come out on YouTube?
8/27/2008 2:02 AM
bloody awful poetry said…
I long to see this deodorant lady who seems to piss everybody off so badly!
8/27/2008 3:25 AM
Anonymous said…
Oh I hate her too. She epitomizes the early 20's. Pompous, arrogant and self-righteous. "Here, smell the part of my body that stinks!"

And her idea of fashion is jeans and high heels. Mmm ... ya ... high class.

Knot
8/27/2008 8:27 AM
katrocket said…
I'm killing myself laughing about this because my friend and I saw this ad on TV last week and he said "Oooh man. I'd definitely throw rocks at her".
8/27/2008 9:16 AM
Claire said…
That is definitely one of the top 10 most annoying ads on TV right now.
8/27/2008 9:59 AM
Cormac Brown said…
Maybe you could apply Head-On directly to her forehead, with one of those mallets that vampire hunters use to drive in the wooden stakes?
8/27/2008 10:28 AM
Falwless said…
I've never seen this commercial. But, like most things that other people hate, I tend to like to latch on to the bandwagon of disgust. So, seriously, eff that bitch. She's can go burn in hell. And P&G - fire your ad agency, stat.
8/27/2008 10:40 AM
Falwless said…
And of course I meant "she," not "she's." Because I am not retarded.
8/27/2008 10:41 AM
Anonymous said…
She's on the Guv'ner's list of people I'd most like to skewer with a flagpole. That bitch.

Also, I'm always amused by actors who probably spend their whole lives dreaming about being the next DeNiro or Streep and end up sniffing their pits in a commercial.
8/27/2008 11:10 AM
Dr Zibbs said…
Let's hire a bum to find her in NYC and hug her. .
8/27/2008 12:02 PM
Barbara Bruederlin said…
I need to see this commercial, before you rip her arms off and stuff them up her nostrils.
8/27/2008 12:38 PM
KK said…
Last night, in a democratic process, we voted that bitch to the most annoying person so far this year.

Good to know we are not alone!
8/27/2008 1:47 PM
Alice said…
I HATE HER. I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER. and i don't really know why either, except that i imagine that even SHE wanted to kill herself (and her agent) after wrapping that commercial.
8/27/2008 1:49 PM
Unknown said…
I HATE that chick! I wish a thousand skin tags on her armpits!
8/27/2008 2:28 PM
Anonymous said…
Well I'd still do her frankly. You know, if we could get her in a straitjacket and gag first. Kinky!
8/27/2008 2:39 PM
Vinny "Bond" Marini said…
I am not sure I hate her or the two geeks who created the commercial
8/27/2008 2:55 PM
SkylersDad said…
My favorite moment is when she salutes the doorman. Didn't you just want him to stomp her ass?
8/27/2008 5:19 PM
Red said…
I haven't seen this commercial either, but now I'm dying of curiosity.
8/27/2008 5:32 PM
gennifer6 said…
so this is the joy having cable will bring into my life.
8/27/2008 6:00 PM
words...words...words... said…
I haven't seen this commercial and I'm torn between seeking it out, and being that one cool guy that never sees anything because he's too cool. "Titanic? What's that?"
8/27/2008 6:16 PM
mellowlee said…
I hope I never see this commercial. I'm annoyed enough already by my effing daily commute to work :O(
8/27/2008 9:41 PM
The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said…
She is deeply annoying. If I happen to catch this commericial I try run to the TV and mute it before she can say "No thanks, I'd rather walk."

I hope someone jams a stick of Secret up her left nostril.

Rage on Beckeye.
8/27/2008 9:49 PM
*Renee* said…
YES, YES, YES - I couldn't agree more with you! UUUGGGGHHHHH that commercial and that annoying broad make me cringe!!!!
8/27/2008 11:33 PM
Leonesse said…
And I thought I was alone at yelling at the television. I have always made fun of people who do that shit. Now I am one of them. Thank you, Armpit Bitch, thank you.
8/28/2008 2:38 AM
MJenks said…
No, no, I agree with you 100%. The first time I saw that commercial, I screamed "Oh wow, you're edgy and cool, you stupid, raging bitch. Fuck off."

My wife turned to me and said, "Not a fan, huh?" Master of the understatement, that gal.
8/28/2008 11:18 AM
Dale said…
Hahaha, I hate that commercial too, I've seen it twice but feel like it's burned in my brain forever.
8/28/2008 11:43 PM
Moxie said…
Agreed, very annoying. Who gets that happy about deodorant? I'm just happy I don't stink up the Blue Line train into LA. Sadly I can't say that of other riders...
8/29/2008 4:51 PM
Post a Comment