TV Is Still My Dark Master

I haven't blogged much about any TV shows (aside from the awesome Puppy Games) since summer reruns took over, which may trick most of you into thinking that I've been doing more productive things, like, outside and stuff. However, while I have been spending more time rockin' out with Mr. iPod and flirting with those bad UV rays, I haven't ended my long-term relationship with TV. He's so square, but baby I don't care. Because for all his faults, he still always manages to find some way to please me.

Here is some of the candy that my baby has been feeding me this summer:

So You Think You Can Dance, FOX - Ahhhh, when the IV drip runs out of American Idol juice, I can always count on Nigel Lythgoe to hook up a nice big bag of this worthy replacement, now in its 4th season. I've been watching this since Season 2, and I totally love it despite judge Mary Murphy's annoying, ear-shattering screaming. I just haven't bothered to blog about the show because I haven't figured out a way to be funny while writing about dancing. Plus, all of the contestants are generally really good, not like AI where there are usually always at least one or two horrible train-wreck "singers," so it's a little harder to make fun of. This season was probably the best one yet. The only way it could have been better? Two words: Pasha Kovalev. He showed up in one episode as a guest choreographer, but that's hardly enough.(Warning: the previous link will take you to one of those stupid fan-made tribute videos on YouTube. Every picture I found of him looked ultra-dorky. That could be because the guy is a dork, but he's one of the hottest dorks I've ever seen.)

Animal Cops, Animal Planet - There are a bunch of different cities in which this show takes place, but every time I see it, it's usually Houston, Miami or New York. If ever there was a TV show that pushed every one of my buttons at the same time, it's this one. I love the animals, but I hate the horrible things that happen to them. I love when the cops catch jerkoff animal abusers, but I hate the incredibly light penalties that are imposed upon them. I'm happy when pets are taken care of by the vets and adopted by good families, but I'm sad and angry when animals have to be put down because their lives have been ruined by some irresponsible jackhole. Some people don't like watching this show because it can be sad but, in general, most stories have positive outcomes, and it's worth watching for the happy endings. I watch this all year-round, but Animal Planet tends to run marathons in the summer months, which always suck me in.

Mythbusters, Discovery Channel - Like Animal Cops, this isn't just a summer fill-in either. Honestly, I think this is one of the best shows on TV. I mean, I've been duped into believing a lot of crap in my life and Adam and Jamie - along with a few others including hottie technerd Tory - have helped me shed my gullibility. Birds CAN eat rice without exploding! There is no super-scary haunted house ANYWHERE that gives you your money back if you make it all the way through! And, most importantly, if you're in an elevator that suddenly plummets to the ground, jump up and down all you want. Might as well have a little bit of fun before you get crushed to death.

I Love Money, VH1 - Yeah, most people would be embarassed to admit that they like this show, but I think it's a bit late for me to try to pretend that I'm hip at this point. This is basically just a bunch of rejects from Flavor of Love, I Love New York and Rock of Love further gleefully humiliating themselves by playing stupid games for a big wad of cash. It's kind of like a skankier version of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge, and even though it's not quite as entertaining as that, I appreciate the honesty of the show. I mean, the title says it all. These people love money, as they have proven time and time again by always putting it above things most normal people prize, like family, friendship, love, integrity, self-respect, employment, knowledge, the English language, a disease-free body, and so forth. The only way this series could be more honest would be to call it I Love Money, Sex, Attention and Talking Loudly.

The Soup, E! - Since I can only watch so much reality TV before I lapse into a coma or spontaneously contract syphilis, I rely on Joel McHale for all the good poop on these poopy shows. I'm sort of loving The Soup even more than Best Week Ever these days. While I still dig BWE, their "Oh my God, can you believe how cool we are?" attitude has started to grate on my nerves. Or maybe I'm just pissed that I've never been able to get a job with them. Either way, Joel McHale is funnier on his own than a lot of those no-name wannabe VH1 comedians put together. And he's kind of a cutie, too.


I just realized that while I'm watching all of this filler, I'm still paying $16 a month for Netflix and not even really using it. I've had The Departed sitting around, envelope unopened, for just about two months now. I really need to stop busting myths and find out if Leo DiCaprio ever did get chopped up and fed to the poo-ah. Here's hoping.