"Miss O'Day assures the world that her pussy
licking days are behind her."
licking days are behind her."
And with that, the torch has been passed to The Imaginary Reviewer. This is a well-deserved win, since I really liked his caption last month, but my inner prude forced me to make it a runner-up because of its pure filth. This caption is rather "blue" as well, but I think it's too late for me to play Miss Butter Wouldn't Melt In My Mouth American Sweetheart at this point, so what the hell. New blog format: nothin' but beastiality and cunnilingus!(Note to Google search pervs: That was a joke. Sorry to have misled you. But there are still plenty of nauseating niche porn sites out there. Go fish.)
And now, the three finalists who gave it their all and came so close, yet still remain a huge disappointment to me:
Aubrey told Entertainment Tonight that she was drunk the other night and blew chunks. Fortunately, they didn't know her dog's name was Chunks. - Tootsie
...and so the Center for Disease Control and Prevention voted unanimously that the dog must be put down and Miss O'Day sterilized for the greater good of the community. - Pepe Le Pew
After a hard night out, Aubrey O'Day hacks up a small daiquiri-flavored dog's head. - Deadspot
Nice going, gang. And hey, no need to thank me for prettying up your sentences. Toots, punctuation is our friend. And Pepe, this is America. We don't put esses where zees should be. Not only did Imaginary Reviewer have the best caption, but his was properly spelled and structured too. Why can't you kids be more like him? Maybe, with a little work, you too can one day be...
(Okay, so Tootsie and Deadspot have already had the fire down below. But the rest of you monkeys better work it.)
The tone of this post was inspired by Falwless, who has taught me that the best way to retain your readers is by berating and insulting them.
Comments
I'll be honest, I can't think of anything that could possibly compete with any of the above suggestions. I'd just like to see what almost makes the final cut recognized. While I aspire to a bronze crotch, I know there are those out there who are much more worthy.
Is a smoking crotch too much to ask for?
I leave it up to you. It's your crotch after all.
Yours in smoldering embers,
Doc
Knot
LOL
Man, look at that look of panic on that dog's face!
JDC
I need to go bleach my eyeballs out now.
there are a LOT of good ones. my little brain cannot compete.
That's not a caption. That's what I was thinking when I wrote the Hellen [sic] Keller blurb. Oh, Sobriety, I'll never desert you again!
The post origin determines the spelling, not the blog origin.
If the word in question is spelt differently in say Australia to the USA, (e.g.. MUM! not MOM!)then the person posting should use the spelling he or she is accustomed to!
Pepe will not conform to your American English literacy standards!
Now that im done being melodramatic,
My spell check wont give me the american translation, i only have an australian spell check update.
Sorry!
(Nice tone of the post, though, I thought it felt familiar. Watch out, your readership is going to skyrocket!)