Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Bigger Issue

As a follow-up to yesterday's "colorful" post, I would like to ask everyone who's been jumping all over little Ms. Lindsay why they aren't pointing fingers at the real ignoramus in this story - Access Hollywood's Maria Menounos. She actually opened her LiLo interview with, "Before I ask you about leggings, I wanted to ask you about the election." Um...why??

Maria, Maria. Yes, the girl sitting across from you had a husky voice, severe case of bed-head and seemed like she'd been slamming Jager bombs the night before, but I promise you...that wasn't Ann Coulter. When you're talking to Lindsay Lohan, and your key topic is leggings, you stick to leggings. Leggings are good. Leggings are great. Talking about colored leggings won't get you into trouble. If you want to go off the board, try something easy. Like, "Before I ask you about leggings, I wanted to ask you about hats." Or, "Before I ask you about leggings, I wanted to ask you - was it still raining when you got here today?" Like Cher said in Clueless, keep her conscious by asking her stuff she knows. No math. And certainly no politics.

You know, now I'm curious how that same interview would've gone down had Maria's subject really been Ann Coulter. (They couldn't have talked about leggings, because that screech owl keeps her legs bare under that never-ending supply of mini cocktail dresses.) I tell you this, if Ann Coulter had called Barack "colored," she would've seemed downright gracious. One thing's for sure - she certainly would've used the time to peddle her disgusting new book, which hits stores right after Christmas and is apparently too-hot-for-a-title right now. I'm guessing that it will be along the same lines of her 2004 book, How to Talk to a Liberal (If You Must): The World According to Ann Coulter, but tailored more to the Obama era. Something like, How to Talk to Darkies (If You Must): Holy Shit, They're Everywhere.

16 comments:

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

I read the back of an Anne Coulter book once and was blown away by how shoddy, how lazy, how badly written and - worst of all - how terribly unfunny it all was. It was like someone who had once been told they were a good, funny writer by a well-meaning relative and decided to churn out an Uncle John's Bathroom Reader for Republicans. I remember one line was about being asked her opinion of sex before marriage during a talk at a university and her response was "that's the worst pick up line I've ever heard". Urgh.

There are plenty of pissant right-wingers who are totally disagreeable but still know how to write. Anne Coulter couldn't write her way into a public toilet. If she wasn't Bill O'Reilly's wet dream (enjoy that image), nobody would give a flying fuck about what she thinks.

Rant over.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Ann Coulter's new book is quite interesting. It's working title is "How to kill your best friend for that shiny new ring he found at the bottom of the Great River." A mouthful, true, but catchy nonetheless.

Dr Zibbs said...

No comment on the post. I just wanted to tell you how the comments on the Comments Hall of Fame were cracking me the hell up.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I love you taking such a stand. Obviously Access Hollywood was setting her up. Like anyone really cares about Lilo's politics. Except her view on Prop 8, maybe. I truly believe the girl has some real talent, and if she could get away from her crazy parents and the paps and the media for a longer period of time, she might have a chance. I honestly see this kid winning an Oscar at some point, if she doesn't end up in some Marilyn Monroe-like tragedy.

And don't even get me started on Coulter...

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Well shit, if you are going to put it THAT way, comparing a (relatively) harmless twit like Lindsay Lohan to an evil shrew like Ann Coulter, you just know you are going to garner support for your previous post. In fact, I think I want to adopt Lindsay now.

pistols at dawn said...

Is there really ever that much anyone can say about leggings? I imagine she just wanted to pad the interview.

Red said...

Ann Coulter is a hag.

Andy said...

Just so I don't have to think about Ann Coulter, might I instead say it took me a moment to realize you superimposed your face on Pam. I love it. We're going to be blog friends now, right? Have you seen my love for 90s pop culture to go with my love for It's Always Sunny?

Falwless said...

I'm not even going to start in on how much I loathe Coulter. Really. It's bad for my blood pressure.

Some Guy said...

Although I've never read a Coulter book, I'd have to imagine the experience would be like swimming in a pool of diarrhea with your mouth open.

CDP said...

My theory on Coulter is that even she doesn't believe the garbage that she spews verbally and in "writing". I think that it's just that the blond conservative in an Alaia dress routine (seriously, she's like that woman on Seinfeld, I want to break into her house to see if she has a closet full of the same dress)gets a lot of attention.

SouthernBelle said...

beckeye, check out my blog today
: )

PS - The little I know of Ann Coulter makes me certain I don't need to know more.

Gifted Typist said...

I love your 'screech owl" description.

genn6 said...

I'm waiting for her to just come out with it and say Charlie Manson was right and Helter Skelter is now upon us....

Malcolm said...

I won't fault Maria for asking her about the election. It's not like she asked Lindsay to explain the Bush Doctrine.

As for Ann Coulter, I have a feeling that she doesn't believe much of what she says... it's all about selling books. I'm sure Hannity and O'Reilly, are busting a woodie in anticipation of getting to promote Coulter's upcoming doorstop. I'm about to engage in one of my favorite hobbies... watching You Tube clips of right-wing hacks like Coulter and Hannity get put in their place.

aliencg said...

I do not recognize the existence of Ann Coulter. To me, she represents hatred and contempt for everything us normies stand for. Hey Ann, get back in O'Reilly's trousers.

 

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