Damn you, motivated marathoners outside my window! Especially you one-legged runners and wheelchair racers. It's Sunday. I just wanted to relax today. I really didn't need to be reminded of how much I suck.
How could you suck? You're the one in your comfy house watching the pathetic athletic people slaving away in the cool fall air. To me, YOU'RE the clear winner.
Hah. When I ran the 2004 Chicago Marathon I passed a guy at around 20 miles who was running on one prosthetic leg--one of those high-tech ones that look like a springy metal bar. He looked REALLY fit, too.
Do you know how depressing it is when you realize it took you 20 miles to catch up to a guy with one leg?
I felt better when I reminded myself that in my first marathon in 1999 I was passed by 4 people dressed as a cow, and another guy wearing a potted plant on his head.
You just need the right incentive. Howzabout Mr. Sisto standing about ten blocks away from you and he's going to leave in eight minutes? Then the next day he could stand twelve blocks away and he'll leave in ten minutes?
You know what? Wheelie McGee feels good now, but after the euphoria of the marathon wears off he'll still be in a chair. And you'll still be able to get up and go to the kitchen for Cheetos and beer.
I've never understand this weird tendency to equate people who love the pain that comes with running too far with some sort of high moral character.
On the other hand, I've never been someone who did have the discipline to repeatedly jug long distances. My older daughter is going to run a marathon early next year, so we'll need to monitor her sense of moral superiority due to her running all those miles over the next several weeks.
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Do you know how depressing it is when you realize it took you 20 miles to catch up to a guy with one leg?
I felt better when I reminded myself that in my first marathon in 1999 I was passed by 4 people dressed as a cow, and another guy wearing a potted plant on his head.
On the other hand, I've never been someone who did have the discipline to repeatedly jug long distances. My older daughter is going to run a marathon early next year, so we'll need to monitor her sense of moral superiority due to her running all those miles over the next several weeks.