Yesterday, not only did my beloved Steelers beat the Chargers, but they ensured their spot on at least one more Trivial Pursuit card. The final score of 11-10 was the first 11-10 final in the history of the NFL. Does this matter to anyone? Apparently, it does. Otherwise, the final score would have been 18-10.In the last seconds of the game, San Diego's last-ditch attempt to move down the field resulted in a baubled lateral that Troy Polamalu snagged and returned for a touchdown. After review, the TD was overturned when the officials claimed there was an illegal forward pass - a call that would've made anyone watching question their vision or the meaning of the word "forward."
Now, in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter because it didn't affect the ultimate outcome - the Steelers won. However, you'd have to be an idiot to not realize that someone from the Nerdery flipped out and frantically called up to the booth, begging them to call back that TD to preserve the historic score...especially since the announcers couldn't stop blathering about how there had never been an 11-10 game before. So, congrats sports stat-lovers. Your brains are almost full.
This made me wonder, just how much trivia does one person really want or need to know? I mean, I know way too much useless pop culture info, but at some point my memory banks get flooded. If you want to know how many brothers and sisters John Travolta has, I can tell you. (Five.) Want their names? Fine. (Ellen, Ann, Margaret, Sam, and Joey.) But if you want to know what color underwear he was wearing when he attended the premiere of Urban Cowboy, I can't help you. Believe me, I wish I could.
Sports trivia hounds are a whole different kind of breed. That stuff is so much harder to remember than movie or music trivia. There are teams, players, positions, numbers, trades, monthly stats, yearly stats, lifetime stats, off-season crimes and misdemeanors, etc, etc. But are there guys who could tell you what Carlester Crumpler's* college major was? You betcha. My brother, J-Fred, is one of these guys. If I'm ever in a situation where my life depends on knowing which mustachioed running back holds the record for most rushing yards in a Thursday night game under a full moon, he's the guy I'd want there with me.
*For non-sports fans, I'm not making that name up. He plays for the Vikings. Is that not the greatest football player name ever? When your last name is Crumpler, you're pretty much guaranteed to have a kick-ass name, unless your parents name you Ira. Hell, even then, you'd probably grow up to be the most feared accountant on your block. Carlester's brother, Alge, might seem a little less fortunate, but "Alge Crumpler" is still pretty cool. It's like some sort of highly toxic, extra-strength aquarium cleaner.
UPDATE: People, the name Dick is hilarious, no matter what. That doesn't make Dick (insert last name here) a great FOOTBALL name. Yes, Dick Butkus is fun to say, but it has nothing to do with football. It would be a truly great name for a porn star or a proctologist. See what I mean? Of course you do. Therefore, I stand by my assertion that Carlester Crumpler is a much better footballer's name because he crumples people.
Comments
But I have to say, the officials make the right call in that case. Unlike when they allowed Troy Polamalu's "interception" earlier in the game. A bad day for football all around, as the Eagles TIED the Bengals. The BENGALS.
Random sports geek fact that may have larger appeal: Former Arizona Cardinals cornerback Aeneas Williams' father was a professor of classics, and named he and his brother Achilles after his favorite classical heroes. This is 100% true. Also, legendary placekicker/sportscaster/alcoholic Pat Summerall, who worked a countless number of Williams' games during his career, always pronounced his first name "Anus". Always. See the kinds of things you're missing when you don't watch sports?
I'm kind of surprised that Blogger has not cut off my comment at this point. I wonder if there's not even a maximum length? New sports stat! "Longest blog comment": words words words on "The Pop Eye".
Best football name ever: Dick Butkis
As for individual players and using SABREmetrics or whatever it's called to turn something athletic into math? Forget it. Example: I know Moss set the record last year for TD receptions, but have no idea what that number is. It's probably less than a million, though.
Lastly, no sports name will ever be funnier than "Dick Butkus."
I don't understand how sports stat heads can remember all that crap either, but I think it's really hot that they can. I heart nerds.
That is all.
How does that have nothing to do with football? Every year, people get together to kiss the butt of the best collegiate linebacker by giving him the Butkus Award.
Also, James Thrash's last name is pretty funny, because it's a verb, and that's awesome.
Win, loose or draw we love it because it's always gives us "the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat"
I am also a prodigy of my older brother and, of course, when the need arise, can call him on a tie breaking stat or some rediculous sports fact. He holds the mental edge though, and if he's in the mood, can reduce me back to "chickville" at a moments notice. Bastard.
Without the name, you'd never have that, the greatest lyric ever written!
Second, did you know there is a NASCAR driver named Dick Trickle? For real.
As far as the stats thing. I agree sports stuff is amazing. You should read "Money Ball" and delve into how statisticians changed the face of baseball. You wouldn't believe how involved it gets.
Personally, the people who can remember music trivia amaze me. Who played on what song on what album on what label and what studio was it cut in? And what guitar and effects did he use?
Knot
Also, anytime Philip Rivers gets beat is a good day, whether it's by one point or by 8.