Sorry that I've kept you all in suspense over this Firecrotch of the Year business, everyone. As it turns out, sickness enjoys attacking me while I'm on vacation. Even though just about everyone in my office had been sick over the two weeks leading up to Christmas, I managed to stave off any infections. But of course I was immediately violated by Pleghmmy Pleghmmerson and his gang the minute I set foot in Pittsburgh. So, it's been a little hard to blog during the 5 hours a day that I'm actually awake and coherent. Especially since my Dad got a Wii for Christmas, and I've somehow become a friggin' pro at tennis, even while in a Vicks Vap-o-rub haze and suffering from perpetual glassy eyes.
Anyway, I don't feel too badly about keeping you in "suspense," because, let's face it, everyone knew that Pistols was gonna win. Even if you didn't check the latest poll results, it couldn't have been too hard to figure out. That bastard wins everything. He even beat me out for Blogger of the Year. But I'm not bitter. I don't blame him. I blame YOU. Just because a guy is consistently funny and updates his blog regularly, you go and vote for him? What is the blogosphere coming to?
But whatever, this isn't a pity party for me, it's a Pistols party. So, here's your badge, mister. Wear it with honor. I will admit that, if I hadn't put this to a public vote, I would've awarded you Firecrotch of the Year myself, so everything's as it should be.
Pistols, of all the "Of the Years" this year, you're the Of the Yeariest.
Anyway, I don't feel too badly about keeping you in "suspense," because, let's face it, everyone knew that Pistols was gonna win. Even if you didn't check the latest poll results, it couldn't have been too hard to figure out. That bastard wins everything. He even beat me out for Blogger of the Year. But I'm not bitter. I don't blame him. I blame YOU. Just because a guy is consistently funny and updates his blog regularly, you go and vote for him? What is the blogosphere coming to?
But whatever, this isn't a pity party for me, it's a Pistols party. So, here's your badge, mister. Wear it with honor. I will admit that, if I hadn't put this to a public vote, I would've awarded you Firecrotch of the Year myself, so everything's as it should be.
Pistols, of all the "Of the Years" this year, you're the Of the Yeariest.
Comments
Wii tennis is tough! I'm impressed, Becks.
I'm a fan of Wii bowling myself. And Mario Kart kicks even more ass in Wii format.
Get better Becky or the usual asshats will ply their asshat-ery without the vigilance of The Pop Eye.
(jus kiddin', Pistols baby)
Well, this, and girls from Baltimore.
Still, my crotch is on fire like Buddhist monks protesting the Vietnam War that later become Rage Against the Machine album covers, and I think that's a good thing.
Also, if this is a Pistols party, girls' shirts aren't invited. Yow!
I hope you get well soon Beckeye!
I didn't want to win anyway!