Friday, December 05, 2008

I'll Take Potpourri for The Hell of It, Alex

I'm incapable of sticking to a topic today. We'll call this post a mix of eye boogers and dead brain cells, held together by drool.

Let's kick things off with a little self-pimpage, shall we? Go check out yesterday's Starpulse post. It may shock some of you to find out that the subject of this one is John Travolta. (Insert blogosphere's collective gasp here.) And it may really shock you to find out that I managed to list some of his "worst" movies without breaking out in hives or just breaking down. Well, I did. I can be objective, people. But I won't be understanding if you leave nasty comments about him. Then again, maybe I'll turn a blind eye. I just want comments. Because, once again, the teenyboppers over there aren't caring. John is just like, too old, or something. IDK. I think my next post will have to be about Robert Pattinson's farting patterns or Blake Lively's Top 5 Facial Expressions.

For the record, Blake Lively's Top 5 Facial Expressions are:
1. Vacant
2. Mildly Agitated
3. Mildly Confused
4. Confusedly Agitated
5. Vacant (and Mildly Constipated)

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In case any of you are wondering why I'm not "following" your blog, it's because I'm taking a stand against all of these new Blogger bells and whistles. It took me a long time to get my blogroll just the way I like it. Alphabetical order. Each title only takes up one line. (No thanks to some people...I won't mention any names *cough*Skyler's Dad*cough*Genn*cough*. Thanks for forcing me to post your blogger names instead of your ginormous blog titles, thereby rendering my format inconsistent and causing me a minor anal-retentive freak out.) I add new blogs to my blogroll manually. Maybe that's outdated, but it's the way I like it. Maybe the little blog update doohickeys are a good idea, but I'm too lazy to implement such a thing. And now this "following" business. Give me a break. Is reading, commenting on, and linking to your blog not enough?? What do I have to do to prove my devotion to you people? Build shrines? Well, I've already done that. I just don't brag about it.

* * * * * * * * * *

OMG confirmed yesterday that Mischa Barton and Jon Sadoff are NOT dating. Still, I don't feel like we're getting the full story here. Like, for one, who the hell these two people even are.

* * * * * * * * * *

I wish someone would tell Us Magazine that stars are not just like us. If they were, that section would look more like this:

Stars...They're Just Like Us!

"They have chocolate stains all over their shirts!"

"They spend Saturday night at the laundromat!"

"They buy Ramen Noodles in bulk!"

"They rack up massive credit card
debt because they don't have enough
money to buy Christmas presents!"


red said...

The Follow on Blogger thing bugs me, too. I don't even really get what it's all about (shocker!), I just know it's one more way for the universe to tell me I'm less popular than everyone else.

Dr Zibbs said...

Beckeye - I love the followers thing but I've been greedy lately with becoming a follower because once I stop following someone they might commit suicide. Also, do you know that your blogroll is not visible when you click in from Google Reader? At least not for me. I had to click "home" for it to appear. Anyways, keep up the great blogging.

The Guv'ner said...

I'm not doing the following thing either, that's what a blogroll and google reader are for! Tsk! :)

words words words said...

As for the Blogger doohickeys...someone had to say it! I'm not down with those either. I do my blogroll manually, too, and I do it based on blogs I like, not people who comment me. And I don't follow, that's what Google Reader is for. I guess it's nice if someone likes my blog enough to be a follower, but it seems too much like being MySpace friends for me to do it myself.

pistols at dawn said...

I find it's a lot easier to just say a lot of racist things in October and November so that you don't have any friends left to buy presents for.

I'm also too confused by Google Reader and Following to hop on board. Plus, I like Following women the old-fashioned way: from a distance of less than a block, hiding behind a newspaper.

SkylersDad said...

Words are not enough to express my sorrow at causing your anal problems Beckeye.

Wait, those words weren't a great choice, let's try again...

I really am sorry I am too ginormous for you Beckeye!

Shit! That isn't much better now is it?

Oh well, maybe I will just resort to begging you to keep me on your blogroll...

SouthernBelle said...

Step 1:
Marry an atheist who refuses to celebrate Christmas on the grounds that he doesn't believe in Christ.

Step 2:
Move to another country (preferably one with an imploding economy) and become poor so that your family understands you can't afford to ship them presents.

Also - Kids these days... I don't get all these young people, and it reminds me of Grandpa Simpson:
"I used to be with it. Then they changed what *it* was. Now what's it seems weird & scary to me. It'll happen to you tooooo!"

cube said...

I don't even have a blogroll! Oh, the humanity.

CDP said...

I just started the following thing, but I don't have a Google reader. I'm not even on MySpace or Facebook.

Dale said...

I added the Follower thing because after about 40 emails, 50 calls and random hisses and cries from Tanya Espanya who I believe wanted a follower, I did it. The braying has stopped, for now. That all said, Beckeye? I will follow.

katrocket said...

-I laughed heartily at Brad Pitt buying Ramen noodles in bulk.

- Your Starpulse article was fantastic. I hadn't heard of "A Civil Action" but I think I'll rent it on your recommendation.

- also, you most certainly do brag about your shrine on occasion.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I do the following thing because it's easier for me to read posts as they're posted in chronological order, rather than me clicking on each website of the people I like and finding they hadn't posted anything. Or in Poobomber's case, posted 75 things and then I don't have time to read any one else's blog. It really comes down to me being lazy...

Anonymous said...

I am too much of a follower, I only followed cuz everyone else was followoing, now I'm not sure who to follow or not to follow, You follow me?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I'm going old-schooley on the follower nonsense too. Blogger has no place in the bedrooms of the nation!

LegalMist said...

You don't have to "follow" me to prove your devotion. Just list me in between "Left of Centrist" and "Leonesse Roars" and I'll be a happy camper. :)

I like the "followers" widget, myself -- makes it easy for me to read my favorite blogs, and is fun to click on the little icons on other people's blogs, too.

I'd "follow" you if I could (so easy to do!) but I'm far too lazy to get around to posting your link in my blog list... apparently I am not anal enough to do it that way.... ooh, what did I just say?

Malcolm said...

Ooh, I can't wait to see your John Travolta list. I might even be nice and not take a swipe at him.

I had to click on the link to find out who the hell Jon Sadoff is! Some of these entertainment writers kill me. A lot of times they refer to some of these not deserving of a letter grade-listers by their first names only! Sorry, but Lauren Conrad isn't even close to earning first name only status.

Alice said...

i don't really get "following" either. i follow no one! well, unless you count the 2938263 blogs in my reader.

dguzman said...

Brilliant. All of it. I'll print out a copy and lay it on the altar at my shrine to you.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

As for not following my blog: Kudos for your reasoning. I appreciate ANYONE who has the nerve and good sense to be OCD about their blogroll. Just this morning, I went through and made sure everything was properly capitalized. Yep. Dork.

Jon said...

Wait.. Blake Lively has a face? Huh. How about that.


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