Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Opening Monologue

Access Hollywood reported that Carson Daly is taking his show, Last Call With Carson Daly, to L.A. and San Francisco for a week to help promote new musical acts. After hearing this announcement, the question lingering on everyone's minds was, "Carson Daly still has a show??"

Denise Richards recently told Ellen DeGeneres that it was her kids who got her through the post-Charlie Sheen years of "public scrutiny and humiliation." It was then that she realized how important they were to her. Public scrutiny and humiliation, that is. And she is making sure that her daughters experience the joy they can bring with a second season of Denise Richards: It's Complicated, premiering later this year!

Britney Spears is planning a real "Circus" for her upcoming tour, which features plenty of magic and stunts, including Spears being sawed in half. Rumor has it that she will close out the last show of the tour with the most dangerous and difficult trick of all - singing on key for an entire song. (Without a net or a backing track!)

(Insert brief, horn-filled musical interlude here.)

Thanks, folks! I've got a great blog for you tonight! The American Idol recap will be here, so stick around!

11 comments:

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Wait! Wait! I am unsure as to whether I should try the chicken! Should I try the chicken? Please, I need to know!

Dale said...

You and Paula look so awesome and stoned together like that. There's a reason it's called a 'sidebar'.

Carson Daly is a massive tool - Jimmy Fallon. I believe Jimmy may soon prove he is also but I remember him saying that every chance he got on SNL.

Denise Richards' Colon, It's Complicated - Joel McHale.

Beckeye makes me laugh my ass off even without midgets and juggling - Dale

SkylersDad said...

You forgot to ask the crowd to tip us waiters and waitresses. What? We little people don't mean anything to you anymore?

words words words said...

Carson Daly's show is the single worst show in the history of television. Yes, it's even worse than Manimal and Cop Rock. He is a terrible interviewer, has no presence whatsoever, and could just murder the best jokes in the world. Honestly, I don't know how it lasted longer than the second commercial break of the first episode.

Other than that, it's great!

BeckEye said...

What are you guys talking about? This isn't some cheesy Vegas revue. These are big-time, late-night talk show-grade jokes here!!

Well, actually, I'm a woman so I'm not allowed to have a late night show. So, these are, at the very least, pre-soap opera block, daytime talk show-grade jokes. Perhaps I should've added in more kooshball references or a little animated .gif of me dancing in my sneakers.

words words words said...

Beck, don't forget to add a cooking segment where you banter wittily with a chef who helps you prepare easy weeknight meals.

LiLu said...

LOL re: the Britney Spears! It would indeed be a daring trick... one she's NEVER accomplished before!

J. Hi said...

I can't wait for the Idol summary. Love those!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Just what the world needs-more Britney! How will she ever pull it off without a voice synthisizer? (did I spell that right?)

Anyway, looking forward to tonite. Could you please explain this whole new format of getting the top 12?? Hello-I'm not stupid, just a litlle confused. Can Anoop come back in the wild card?? Please tell me yes!

Kimizzy said...

You know what this post tells me more than anything? That celebrities really are gluttons for ridicule and humiliation.

Tards.

pistols at dawn said...

I still can't believe that enough people care about Denise Richards that she merits a show. Wild Things was all I needed from her, thank you very much.

 

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