Wednesday, March 04, 2009

American Idol 8 Results: 3/4/09

Well, it's time for the most padded hour in all of TV, the AI results show!

The big question on everyone's mind tonight: Will the Blind Guy dance?

Answer: Sort of.

Thanks to some innovative choreography, all the guys sat on a sofa and sort of crossed their legs and rocked back and forth to the beat of Katy Perry's "Hot and Cold." Yes, "Hot and Cold" was the group sing. I remember thinking that last week's Ne-Yo cover was an odd choice, but Group 2 handled it fairly well. This though...oh man, it's insanely bad. The girls are all trying to sing in little baby doll voices and most of the guys don't know what the hell is going on. Scott at least has a reason for looking like he doesn't know where he is, but what is Alex's problem? This number had to have been pre-recorded because I don't think too many of these kids actually know the words.

I was really hoping that they would let Nathaniel sing the "You PMS like a bitch, I should know" line, but no such luck. They even Ed Sullivanized the song - leaving PMS in, but replacing "bitch" with "girl." So, in their attempt to sanitize things, they've just insulted every girl in the world. Not all of us get PMS. And, even if we do, not all of us use it as an excuse to act like a hideous monster.

Unlike that little bitch girl, Seacrest, I'm gonna skip a lot of the stupid banter and get right to the results.

Ryan calls up Lil first and shocks no one with the announcement that she's in the Top 12. Even Scott saw that one coming. *groan*

Speaking of Scott, he is made to stand up along with Arianna, Taylor, Alex, and Kendall. Ryan tells everyone who can see to take a seat, and welcomes Scott to the Top 12. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

Look, I don't want to seem like I'm picking on the handicapped guy, because I'm not. I like Scott. He appears to have a pretty good sense of humor and seems like a genuinely nice guy. But he's still just an average singer. He doesn't deserve to be in the Top 12 based on his performance last night.

Nathaniel and Kristen are called up next and are both given a no..."for now." Interesting that Seacrest tagged that on at the end. Does this mean one or both of them will be picked for the Wild Card round?

Same thing with Von and Felicia - both are given a no for now.

Dammit! Once again, I have a 50/50 shot at the third place winner and I go the wrong way! I was between Felicia and Jorgay and opted for Felicia. Now that Jorgay is up against Ju'Not Who, he's guaranteed to make it through. Ryan informs both men that one of them "is through...the not." Kara's mastery of the obvious must be rubbing off on him.

Of course it's Jorgay. He probably just said some stuff in Spanish much to Paula's delight, but if so, I missed it. Tinkle break.

Now, it's the end of the evening and several offed contestants from the first 3 rounds, including Normund Gentle and my girl Tatiana Del Toro, are brought back so that the judges can make their wild card picks. Okay, why in the hell is Jackie Tohn there?? She sucks! And, is she wearing the same thing she wore 3 weeks ago? Or did she steal all of her clothes from a 1970s hooker?

Well, whatever her deal is, I'm happy to report that Jackie isn't coming back. Here is Group 4, in the order that they were picked:

  • Von Smith
  • Jasmine Murray
  • Ricky Braddy
  • Megan Corkrey
  • Tatiana Del Toro
  • Matt Giraud
  • Jesse Langseth
  • Anoop Desai
Yay!! I'm so happy that they're bringing Tati back! She looked like she was gonna barf the whole time she was made to wait. Then she completely flipped out when her name was called, turning into the teary-eyed psycho that we all know and love.

I can't believe that Felicia Barton wasn't picked. She totally got the shaft. I have a feeling that the judges didn't pick her because she was a replacement, and they would hate for someone who they originally rejected be in a position to win the whole competition. It would just make them look bad. But they already look bad because, among other things, they chose to bring back Jasmine Murray, who is utterly terrible. As much as I dislike Kristen McNamara, I would even pick her before Jasmine. Hell, I would've picked that E-Trade baby who sings "Broken Wings" before Jasmine.

I'm completely confused as to why there are only 8 contestants in the Wild Card round. And I'm even more confused as to why this round is on TOMORROW night. I ALREADY MADE PLANS FOR TOMORROW NIGHT, AND I DON'T HAVE A DVR!!!! Stupid Idol. Always trying to ruin my life.

Find more Idol news and recaps at SirLinksalot.


nick said...

Well they put George Huff in the TOP 12 who was originally rejected so you're just full of sour grapes.

words words words said...

The wild card was a joke. Anoop and Jasmine and Jesse are in while Felicia is out? I was glad to see Von get in, though. He was better than Blind Guy and Jorgay.

Anonymous said...

Scott did deserve to be in the top 12. He is amazing. And it is also amazing how's he's blind and he can still play the piano and sing and he puts his whole heart out there. everyone else pretty much sucked. especially the girl who sang no one by alicia keys. Scott is very good and deserves to be up there

Dave said...

I think this is one big conspiracy between Fox, 19E, Freemantle Entertainment, TiVO and your cable company to force to to get a DVR.

Or are you still using VHS?

("Hello, Beckeye? This is 1986 calling!")

Dale said...

Come to Canada, it's all free healthcare and PVRs (DVRs/magic recording boxes/whatever)!

I loved the seated choreography. Was that the blind guy's mom or sister with the glasses? I watched but again on fast forward after the fact. I love you PVR. You too Beckeye.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I missed the show last night because my son needed "help with his homework". The nerve...

Thanks for the update, as always, gripping and right to the good stuff. I do, however, have a DVR and Idol is on auto-record so I will watch last night's episode before tonite's episode and be all caught up.

You have to get a DVR...Imagine, I can watch Idol without commercial interruption. Yeah...

Anonymous said...

Ok, so you're breaking your plans tonight, because I also don't have DVR, and I also have plans tonight, and I'm totally relying on you for full (and hil-effin-larious) coverage, you said?


This is why I love you, Beckeye. You're so selfless.

BeckEye said...

Nick - I'm not full of anything. Well, no, that's not true. I am full of something, but it's not sour grapes. That doesn't even make sense. Read more Aesop.

WWW - Anoop, Jasmine, and Jesse...sounds like Aladdin Part II.

JoanielovesChachi - What? Scott's blind?? I had no idea. Next you'll tell me that Danny's wife died. Thanks for coming here to defend the "overdog," by the way. There aren't enough people in Scott's corner.

Dave - I have a VHS, but rarely use it. Except for repeat viewings of Xanadu. Ooh, that just made me wish for an Adam Lambert version of "Magic" at some point during the season. Please, Zeus! Make it happen!

Dale - I will come to Canada, but only for the honeypots and Korean bagel ladies. And you, of course.

Candy - Damn kids. Their priorities are so out of whack.

red said...

First, how in the hell do you not have a DVR?!

I can't believe they brought back Jasmine either. Or Megan for that matter. What a freaking joke. They don't even care to pretend it's about singing anymore...Randy even said Tatiana was through because she's entertaining.

How does this work tonight without a results show? The judges pick after they perform or what?

I've officially decided, if Anoop doesn't make it through, Idol is dead to me for good. He looked adorable last night! Who knew I had a thing for Indian dudes?!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Stop picking on the handicapped guy!

Kristi Mantoni said...

I love the e-trade babies!

I thought the group sing was fantastic! I haven't laughed that hard since...well...since Nick/Normund!

I recommend Tivo over a DVR. It's easier to use and will record stuff it think you'll like. I started watching NCIS because of my Tivo. It also records any movie with huge bugs.

Bond said...

I HATE that they brought back that psycho crazed, I am having a nervous breakdown...I can't talk because I have to cry like a lunatic b**ch...HATE IT...and I totally agree that Felicia got the shaft big time...

Now, wild card, the judges decide who gets through out of the 8???? I am more confused then Tatiana is a lunatic...did I mention i HATE that they brought her back

Also, did oyu notice that no one congratulated her and she did nothing to congratulate those picked after her...did I say b**ch?

I think you will begin to like Scott...

Finally...YOU, the POP writer does not have a TiVO???? Forget the DVR, they are a poor third cousin of TiVO....

Ian said...

You're not the only one without a DVR or Tivo, Becky. I actually use my VHS to record AI every week. I have to plan everything ahead of time so I don't miss it. My brother's a huge "Lost" fan, so there's going to be plenty of conflict when the AI result show has to compete with it.

This Wild Card format where they have only one day to prepare probably means we're going to hear even more song repeats. They most likely don't have time to clear any new songs or teach them to the band, so get ready to hear the same old "Idol" standards. Which contestant do you think is going to choose "Against All Odds"?

If the show is only an hour long and eight people have to sing, I'm guessing there won't be any comments from the judges. They need to have time to make their picks after it's all over.

LiLu said...

You're almost making me want to watch this show, just so I know what the hell you're talking about... ;-)

Falwless said...

I was so excited about Ricky Braddy, Matt Giraud and Anoop in the wildcard round to be upset that Felicia didn't make it. But she was totally robbed, she was way better than blind dude AND Jorgay. And she's freakin' gorgeous to boot.

Blind guy sucked ass and shouldn't be in top 12. If he weren't blind he would not be in, I would bet my life savings on this (roughly $8). And I'm going to guess that dowdy bespectacled chick cheering him on was his girlfriend. I dunno, just a guess.

I personally think they stacked these groups poorly, with too much good talent in groups 1 and 2 and not enough in group 3.

I'm looking forward to tonight. I'm really hoping Matt Giraud gets through so I have a crush backup.

God I am fucking lame.


I love it.

elaine said...

Scott sounded a lot better on results night than the night before. I'm just happy that he made it so we can see more of his cute brother.

Tivo rocks. It literally changes the way that you watch television. It also makes results night so much more watchable because you can just fast forward through all the filler (90% of the show).

By the way, I attended the same college that Michael Beck of Xanadu did. Our theatre director would get bent out of shape if anyone mentioned Xanadu because he said that it ruined Michael's career. We had a theatre department reunion one year, but alas Mr. Beck did not attend. However, I did get to meet Alan Hunter (original Mtv vj and another childhood crush).

jolie said...

the whole wild card thing is just confusing.

1. we have four guys, four girls on tap tonight.

2. on the awkward stools already are six guys and three girls.

sooooo should we just expect zero guys out of the WC? (ahahaha; sorry, bad English joke) or will the top twelve, for the first time, not be evenly split?

ah ... america does wait. and wonder.

Dale said...

Remember my earlier PVR/DVR gloating? The show must have run long tonight and I missed the ending so HA! to me. I looked it up though and it was just as exciting.

pistols at dawn said...

I can't believe how much this show asks of its viewers. Now I feel completely vindicated in never watching it. Is this competition really all that different from laughing at losers at a local karaoke night? I mean, except for the part where there, you'd be out of your house and forced to see people?


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