Monday, March 09, 2009

Caption Crotch-test Contest #20

"Aha! My intellectual equal! We meet again!"



This month's winning caption comes from The Imaginary Reviewer, who imagined a pretty damn funny thought bubble to fill Ms. Hilton's empty brain. Congrats, IR. I believe you've won this honor before, so you know that the burning sensation you're feeling now is all too real.



I'm only giving out one runner-up prize this month because, aside from Imaginary Reviewer's quote, there was only one other one that actually made me not just laugh out loud, but guffaw out loud. And maybe there was a snort involved.

Runner-up and almost winner:
"She understood we were kidding about Baby Phat purses being made from fat babies, right? Right?" - Rebecca

Rebecca, if you've decided to return, just know that you may have won had I known that you really existed. You didn't have a blogger profile or anything, so for all I knew, you were one of those vagrants of the blogosphere, just passing through, never to be heard from again. But I hope you do return because, judging by your name and your caption, you're good people.

32 comments:

aliencg said...

"Hi there little cutie, is your mommy Britney Spears?"

Too predictable? Yeah, I thought so.

SouthernBelle said...

I got nothin'.

I can't concentrate on anything but the shoes, which I covet, even though stealing them off her would probably result in some kind of toe-chlamydia.

sigh.

LiLu said...

Oh, that's sad. 2 years old and already has herpes.

Bubs said...

"Pull my finger!"

Evil Genius said...

"Baby French manicure? That's hot."

Kimizzy said...

Baby: "Ok, this is what mom means by 'whores on tv.' Got it. Now give me my fucking hand back."

SkylersDad said...

Mommy! Make the scary slut lady go away, her cooter smells!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

PARIS HILTON FINGERS BABY.

I stay classy.

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

"Aha! My intellectual equal! We meet again!"

Dale said...

Come with me and we'll get you a manicure and some of my cheapo extensions.

Suze said...

It's just like the "Chicken Pox" party honey..except at this one Ms. Hilton infects you with measles, mumps, rubella, and VD with just one touch.

Cormac Brown said...

Baby: Ugh, I can't believe Barney wears high heels and needs a diaper change more than I do.

Tootsie said...

Listen to me, if your Mommy would've done THIS with her legs you wouldn't be here.

Doc said...

Note how Ms. Hilton is using her left hand to keep her dildo from falling out of her crotch. Very tastefully done.

Doc

Bond said...

"Now watch as I pull my skirt up and we play Scare-a-boo"

but seriously...the shoes...HAWT!

mike said...

I am the smartest man alive (and my mom thinks I'm handsome) but I cannot for the life of me figure out what is wrong and/or funny about this picture. She looks fine to me.

pistols at dawn said...

"Thank God all my boyfriends pull out."

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Paris finds fresh meat for bff material

Jack said...

HI SNOOKUMS! YOUR OUTFIT AND THE INSIDE OF YOUR PERAMBULATOR MATCHES
MY OUTFIT, HOW PRECIOUS!

jolie said...

no, no - you pay AFTER I'm done.

................
(ewwww, my mind is SO in the gutter. me no likey.)

Gwen said...

"Awww. You're SO much cuter than Nicole's baby!"

J.C. said...

How much for the baby...do you have one in "blonde"?

Fancy Schmancy said...

Does it come with a matching purse to carry it in?

Rebecca said...

"She understood we were kidding about Baby Phat purses being made from fat babies, right? Right?"

Candy's daily Dandy said...

HAHAHA!! Those are absoulutely hilarious! Paris is, of course, a great target.

Gifted Typist said...

I don't think you're being fair to the baba. Who said babas are that dumb?

Bond said...

congrats to the winners

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Congrats to IR and Rebecca. Well said, both!

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

Wahey! Many thanks Beckeye, I shall treasure this burning sensation with the pride it deserves.

Oh, and Gifted Typist: I did feel a bit guilty about my insult to the baby...

Kimizzy said...

IR - Con Grad You Lay Shuns.

Yes I'm a little jealous. So what?

I've always wanted a firecrotch. I think it's the most awesome thing in the world. Next to peanut butter, celery sticks, listening to Tool for 12 hours straight, and hanging off my balcony for shit and giggles. But that's all it's next to.

pistols at dawn said...

Nicely done, team People Who Aren't Me. I'm officially already out of the running for the vaunted Of The Year contest, which is good to know, because now I don't even have to put in my half-assed efforts.

words words words said...

In the absence of identity information for Rebecca, I would like to suggest that *I* am Rebecca. Thank you for the honor, Beckeye, and congratulations to me!

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

"You're like an idiot savant of terrible garbage entertainment." - Falwless

"You're my hero." - Candy

"Get yourself a life. Better yet.....eff off." - Ann Onymous

"There's no one like you." - Klaus Meine