Doing My Part to Keep Lindsay Down

Poor Lindsay Lohan. She could be this generation's Audrey Hepburn if only we'd let her.

Why can't we just LEAVE LINDSAY ALONE?? I mean, really. The girl should be allowed to go on a pantiless, drunken, backwards drive down the sidewalks of L.A. every once in a while without some smart-ass blogger making a big deal over it every time.

According to Linz, the reason she hasn't landed a "great role" is because of "sicko fans" prying into her personal life and making crazy, false accusations about the "uninteresting" goings-on. The thrice-rehabbed quasi-lesbian went on to say, "It would be really nice if people would believe in me. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, and I don't lie." Well, gosh. Adam Ant should write a song about her.

When asked about her goals (the ones we're all keeping her from), LiLo revealed, "I just want to live the dream that I've worked so hard for since I was 4 years old...I'd like to have my own charity, do work overseas, be in Oscar-nominated films, write movies, produce movies/shows/videos, design clothes, make music, write books, etc."

Wow. That's pretty ambitious. When I was 4, I just wanted to watch cartoons and have my Dad take me to McDonald's once in a while.

I still don't see how the rest of the world is keeping Lindsay from living out all of these dreams, though. Instead of pointing fingers, she needs to take a good, long look at herself. Like, if she did really stop doing drugs, well, that's clearly the problem. Not us. Because, seriously, it's gonna take a lot of coke to achieve all that.

Can someone give her a straw or a rolled up dollar for God's sake? Do something to help! Stop standing in her way!