Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Doing My Part to Keep Lindsay Down

Poor Lindsay Lohan. She could be this generation's Audrey Hepburn if only we'd let her.

Why can't we just LEAVE LINDSAY ALONE?? I mean, really. The girl should be allowed to go on a pantiless, drunken, backwards drive down the sidewalks of L.A. every once in a while without some smart-ass blogger making a big deal over it every time.

According to Linz, the reason she hasn't landed a "great role" is because of "sicko fans" prying into her personal life and making crazy, false accusations about the "uninteresting" goings-on. The thrice-rehabbed quasi-lesbian went on to say, "It would be really nice if people would believe in me. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, and I don't lie." Well, gosh. Adam Ant should write a song about her.

When asked about her goals (the ones we're all keeping her from), LiLo revealed, "I just want to live the dream that I've worked so hard for since I was 4 years old...I'd like to have my own charity, do work overseas, be in Oscar-nominated films, write movies, produce movies/shows/videos, design clothes, make music, write books, etc."

Wow. That's pretty ambitious. When I was 4, I just wanted to watch cartoons and have my Dad take me to McDonald's once in a while.

I still don't see how the rest of the world is keeping Lindsay from living out all of these dreams, though. Instead of pointing fingers, she needs to take a good, long look at herself. Like, if she did really stop doing drugs, well, that's clearly the problem. Not us. Because, seriously, it's gonna take a lot of coke to achieve all that.

Can someone give her a straw or a rolled up dollar for God's sake? Do something to help! Stop standing in her way!

10 comments:

The Vegetable Assassin said...

HA HA HA! "...I don't drink, I don't do drugs, and I don't lie". I think most people can prove she does ALL OF THE ABOVE, regularly and in public. Is she delusional? And I don't know man. I've seen the shit she writes on her MySpace/Blog/Facebook/Twitter courtesy of the gossip columns and I really don't foresee a future writing movies when she can barely manage a decipherable Twitter sentence.

I once thought she had so much promise. Funny how wrong you can be.

words words words said...

I don't really have anything to add. Just oh my GOD is she serious? I don't think that shit would fly if she were addressing the audience at a Brooklyn Bridge auction.

gizmorox said...

I can't believe I'm about to say something that could be interpreted as defending Lindsay, but I almost understand her point about having a rough few years, being college age and all that. I mean, none of us were saints in college but we didn't have to live in under a microscope. (Not that I'm condoning the drunken driving and the vag flashing, some college kids are dumber than others.) That being said, she's not that age any more. And the way to redeem yourself is not to stomp your little feet and complain that you're not getting your way. Other people have had to fight their way back from their misguided youths (Johnny Depp for instance) and the way they did it was by working hard to regain respect. And not being spoiled self-righteous twits.

God she pisses me off.

Soda and Candy said...

"The girl should be allowed to go on a pantiless, drunken, backwards drive down the sidewalks of L.A. every once in a while without some smart-ass blogger making a big deal over it every time."

Really, isn't that what we ALL want out of life. God. You guys, just leave Lindsay alone!

CDP said...

I agree with Gizmo. I don't usually care what celebutards do, but Lindsay bothers me because she is talented. I hate seeing her waste her talent, ESPECIALLY since she's already been successful. It's not like she's a talented performer who's never gotten a break.

SkylersDad said...

I for one welcome more vag flashing, and only hope that Lindsey can pull it together. Except her legs that is...

Fancy Schmancy said...

I'm sticking to her winning an Oscar at some point, no matter how fucked up she is.

Gifted Typist said...

Poor darling,
you know BeckEye it's all the fault of you and your ilk.

LiLu said...

Wait... if she's NOT the Audrey Hepburn of our time, who is?

It's me, isn't it?? I knew it!

Dr Zibbs said...

The nut is pretty hot though.

 

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