Friday, June 12, 2009

Feeling More Like an 80-Year-Old Than An '80s Child

I would like to ask the world to please stop reminding me how old I am.

Last night, my roommmate, her sister, and I went out to dinner and then The Pyramid Club's '80s New Wave dance party. On my way to meet up with them, I was casually strolling down 15th Street near Irving Plaza, when I saw the sidewalks jammed with people, most of whom were letting out the most ear-splitting shrieks I'd ever heard. There were barricades up and security vans in the street outside the Belmont Lounge, so I knew some hot shit celeb must have been there. I was just going to keep walking -er, pushing - through but then I thought, "What if it's Zac Efron?" (Yes, the old lady crush still lives.) Or, "What if it's Adam Lambert??" I turned to a guy standing with his camera phone at the ready and asked who was inside and he told me. The freaking Jonas Brothers. I was like, ahhhh okay. Let's keep it moving, then. Nothing to see here. But, even though there were girls all around me spazzing out trying to get the best vantage point, I actually got a full-on view of them walking out of the restaurant. I probably could've just leaned in a few inches to my left and grabbed one of them. It figures, because I didn't care.

After checking online today, I found out that they appeared on The Late Show that afternoon, and were playing a free show at Irving Plaza. (Apparently, they also invaded Central Park this morning.) I guess I'm going to have to start checking the gossip sites from now on before I go anywhere. I totally could have avoided the throng of idiots. But at least the Jonas Brothers didn't ruin my plans, like Barack Obama did.

After the celeb sighting, I had a great dinner at Max, which I highly recommend to anyone in or planning to visit New York. I had the spaghetti with lamb ragu, and it was SPECTACULAR.

Then it was on to The Pyramid Club. Remember yesterday when I said that "drunk" would be part of my equation? I wasn't lying. My roommate and I had already split a rather large bottle of prosecco at dinner, so we already had a semi-buzz going on. Then, since it was also Ladies' Night, we got our first beer free and every beer after that was $2. Now, the beers were nothing special. Just smallish Rolling Rock drafts. But when you find a place - especially in NYC - serving $2 beers, it's actually irresponsible to NOT get hammered. So, we behaved like responsible adults.

I'm kind of surprised that I got so drunk because I felt like I should have been sweating most of the beer out. We didn't stop dancing from the time we got there until the time we left. It was great, but I have to lodge a minor complaint. This was the second time I'd been to Pyramid, and the second time the DJ didn't play any Duran Duran. We even requested some. TWICE. What the hell? You can't have an '80s Night without those guys.

Anyway, things got very blurry when this crazy club kid started taking turns dancing with all of us. And by dancing, I mean twirling and whipping us around incessantly. Now, this place was nearly pitch black, I was completely loaded, and I had some madman tossing me around like a rag doll. I've never dropped acid, but I have to imagine that I came pretty close to the experience there. I'm just glad I didn't puke in the middle of the dance floor. I did fall on my ass though. Of course I did.

Strangely enough, the only part of me that doesn't hurt today is my ass. I feel like I fell out of a tree and hit every branch on the way down. This is from one night of dancing. God, I'm decrepit.

And making me feel like even more of an old lady is my recent discovery that Prince is not only 51 (that's right), but he needs to have hip replacement surgery. What's next? I swear, if Cyndi Lauper and Rick Springfield show up in the next Medic Alert commercial, I'm jumping out the nearest window. If I even have the strength to get it open.


Soda and Candy said...

I love you BeckEye.

I honestly couldn't give a monkey's about the Jonas Brothers and their fresh-faced yet apparently inclined towards saucy camera phone usage ilk.

I was so disappointed when my last Glamour mag came with Miley "Nudie Pics" Cyrus on the cover.

Make them go away so we can devote more airtime to Robert Do-me Jr. You're famous & powerful enough to make that happen right?

Malcolm said...

No Duran Duran on an 80s night... even after 2 requests! You may have to call for that DJ's "80s card" to be revoked.

I'm surprised that you aren't down with at least Joe Jonas. You can kill me later, but when I first saw your boy (Adam Lambert) I thought he was a long-lost Jonas.

Cora said...

80's Night without Duran Duran?! WTF?!

And let me just say I'm glad every damn day that my 12 year old daughter is an semi-emo nerd. She can't stand the Jonas Bros. She has a crush on TIM BURTON instead!! I soooooo totally lucked out, huh?! Best. Kid. Ever.

SkylersDad said...

2 dollar beers? In NYC? Wow, that is one of the signs of Satan returning, isn't it?

words...words...words... said...

You are exactly right about Duran Duran/80s nights and the obligation to drink $2 beers in large quantities. That night sounds like tons of fun except for the dancing part!

Cormac Brown said...

I'm tagging you, why?

1) Because I'm a bastard like that.
2) The 2008 moratorium.
3) Because you could handle this pop-laden meem so well.
4) And really, because it's because I'm a bastard like that.

Cormac Brown said...

BTW, you missed your chance to do all of humanity a favor, by slipping the Jo-ass Brothers some alum like they do cartoons.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Dancing is supposed to cancel out the 2 dollar beer! You must have done something wrong, I think you should do it again.

Ricky Shambles said...

Shitty Jonas Brothers, 2 dollar beer, clubbing, and NO Duran Duran. You tell quite a lovely tale. Makes me want to visit NYC. Now. Suburban Cincinnati is eating me a live. Thank you for the window.

Happy Villain said...

It's scary, isn't it, that people "our age" would much rather play bingo than see the Jonas Brothers?

And, I'm sorry but if anyone was a candidate for a hip replacement by the age of 50, it's Prince. I think that guy was born with his hips gyrating. Don't take that as a sign of your age but the vigor with which your idols earned their standing. I can't even picture the Jonas boys needing anything but plastic surgery in 20 years. (Probably less.) Frankly, I'd just be happy if they got a damn haircut. (Damn, now THAT makes me sound like I'm 80.)

Gifted Typist said...

one sign of getting old is getting stuck in the music of your yoof. I know people who listen to nothing but Zep and Floyd and The Who, all fine bands but sort of dead end - you have to open up to the new stuff in order to stay young

Ricky Shambles said...

I completely agree with Gifted Typist. I stuck it out there in high school and got Nine Inch Nails before Broken was released, moved on in college to Modest Mouse when they could barely fill a large garage in Cleveland (they're still good), The Promise Ring (died), The Postal Service, along with Death Cab soon after that, Dashboard Confessional when he was acoustic, Bishop Allen after that (still going), and dozens in between.

So far, I've been successful in finding stuff before popular. Down side is seeing the dissipations and sellouts. I'll never be a top 40 radio listener (because it's mass-generated crap!), but indie music has kept me ahead of the curve in a lot of respects, even occasionally giving me props for knowing about the "hot band" before its time.

Coaster Punchman said...

You didn't have more fun at Pyramid without me, did you?


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