Monday, June 29, 2009

Monday Morsels

Consider this the half-assed, less interesting version of Eye Boogers.

Fred Travelena died today. I remember him from frequent appearances on Hollywood Squares, but he's best known for being a marginally-better-than-Rich Little impressionist. I was going to make some horrible joke about how he did great impressions of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson, but I just can't. I'll leave that up to people who are holding non-refundable tickets to Hell. Like Poobomber.

Today is Gary Busey's 65th birthday. Send him a card or he will pull your endocrine system out of your body.

My roomies (The Missus and The Mister) and I walked up to the Apollo Theater on Thursday night to hang with all of the Michael Jackson fans who had gathered to pay tribute. (I've asked The Mister to send me the video he took, but he's a bigger procrastinator than I am, so I may never get to post it.) After a wee bit of singing and dancing on the very crowded sidewalk, we nearly choked to death from all the exhaust the news vans were putting out, so we went home and drank prosecco and ate a shit-ton of cheese while watching MTV's MJ video marathon. We were also sickened by the fact that some opportunistic slug had set up an operation where he would take pictures in front of the "In Memory Of" marquee and then try to charge people $5 for them, like it was a damn amusement park ride or tourist attraction.

On Friday afternoon, I spotted Kristen Johnston at 23rd and 10th Ave, walking her dog. Sometimes when I see celebrities, I'm not 100% sure they are who I think they are, but there's no mistaking that Amazon woman. Her doggie was super cute.

Then, on Friday night, I got into an hour-long argument with The Mister over whether or not "Black or White" was an "awesome" song (my opinion) or "just good" (his). Yes, we constantly fight about the dumbest shit and, yes, alcohol is usually involved. Whose side are you on, dear readers? (The stupid rap in the middle doesn't count, by the way.)

American Idol
will pay tribute to the King of Pop by re-airing its Michael Jackson theme night this evening. The highlights, of course, will be the awesome (not debatable) Adam Lambert singing the aforementioned, awesome "Black or White," while wearing an awesome blue leather jacket that I want really badly, and Megan Joy's awesome "caw caw" heard round-the-world. Hey, here's a fun little activity: Watch the show while reading my awesome recap! Especially if you're a Gokey fan, because it might have been the last time I said anything remotely nice about that turd. Can you take this much awesomeness??

Breckin "Where's your sense of pit hospitality?" Meyer posted a hilarious spoof of the Perez "Violence is never the answer!!" Hilton rant on Funny or Die, so check it out. And ZOMG!!!1 Zac Efron makes a cameo!!


Poobomber said...

If I'm going to hell, chances are I'll meet all these people there and they'll beat me up. Totally not-cool.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Breckin rocks.
Soooooo does Zack.

ANd Black or White freakin rocks.
Tell Mister that I said so Mr. Beeyoch!

Billy said...

Alas, when it comes to "Black or White," I'm of the "barely just good" opinion.

KoP had a great ear for a hook, and he could turn a few decent lines, but easily his most annoying quality was this stubborn insistence that he come across as Someone You Don't Wanna Fuck With.

I'm fairly certain the lyrics for "Black or White," much like the lyrics for "Bad," are KoP's way of saying, "If you look at my woman, I don't care who you are, I'm kickin' your ass."

The problem is, KoP wasn't BAD. And he wasn't gonna kick anyone's ass. A stiff breeze could beat KoP in a duel.

I promise I'm not trying to be mean. I could barely defeat a stiff breeze myself. But I wouldn't go writing songs about how bad I was, or how you better not mess with my woman.

McGone said...

Just out of curiosity, is there a third choice for "Black & White?" If so, I'll take that one.

As long as that third choice is "blows."

red said...

B&W is good, but not even, like, top 5 all time.

words...words...words... said...

I am with the Mister on "Black or White". But my opinion barely matters, because "just good" would be my summation of Michael Jackson's post-Jackson 5 career.

Dale said...

Everytime I show up here, someone else dies. I'm not sure whether to blame you or myself!

WendyB said...

Black or White? I don't get to vote for "dreadful"?

cube said...

Billy Mays AND Fred Travelena too? This is more than I can take. Honestly. I can't function right now. This is getting really weird.

J.J. in L.A. said...

What McGone said...

Soda and Candy said...

Jesus Christ, how did Gary Busey make it to 65?

I remember the television premiere of Black & White, and how the morphing technology was so hyped. I bet it looks laughably amateurish by today's standards.

Also, I heart Breckin Meyer.

Doc said...

Thank you dear. I was wondering how the whole MJ's dead thing would be given life on your blog, as it is only you and Flannery that I trust with my pop culture education.

I'm sure people can think of a lot of great things about the man, but I can only name one. He had the foresight to have an aged Vincent Price do a voice-over for his "Thriller" tune. Other than that and the fact that he once tried to put the moves on Brooke Shields, I can't think of anything else good to say. Say what you want about the man, he was a boob.

A very, very rich boob.


Chelsea Talks Smack said...

NICE, I'm xcited about the American Idol rerun I never got to see that!

Fancy Schmancy said...

I can't believe I mised that AI episode - twice! Dangit!

Dr Zibbs said...

I always hated Rich Little and Travelena but could never look away.

LiLu said...

I loved Breckin before...

But I think I just fell head over heels.

Tony Alva said...

Black or White: Horrible fucking song.

Bond said...

The news is treating the death of Mr. Jackson like nothing I have seen since Diana died.

Cora said...

HAHAHAHA!!!! Breckin and Zac ~ that was great!!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Personally I would like to hear Kristen Johnston and her little dog sing Black and White.


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