Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Caption Crotch-test Contest #27

"Do y'all carry 100 packs of pregnancy tests?"


Well, he's not quite Tony Toni Tone, but Words Words Words has done it again. He's officially the new Pistols (RIP). I swear, if Words' crotch gets any more fiery, Howie Long's gonna have to jump down his pants.
And now, here are the crybabies who'll say they were robbed runners up:

In another periodic check on the state of her career, Britney heads straight for the bargain bins. - The Imaginary Reviewer (I wonder if she ran into Taylor Dayne and Samantha Fox?)

Part of the divorce decree is that every week, Britney has to buy three jumbo-packs of Gino's Pizza Rolls, so that K-Fed becomes "K Overfed." - Cormac Brown (Judging by the recent pics of him, she's doing a better job taking care of her ex than her kids. Or herself.)

"Let's see...5 lb. bag of pork rinds, check. A case of Old Milwaukee's Best, check. Hannah Montana movie, check. Three bottles of Nyquil, check. Okay, I'm ready for Friday night!" - Doc (I like this one because it sounds just like my Friday night! Well, except for the pork rinds.)

23 comments:

Cormac Brown said...

Part of the divorce decree is that every week, Britney has to buy three jumbo-packs of Gino's Pizza Rolls, so that K-Fed becomes "K Overfed."

Gwen said...

"Somebody told me you can get ten bags of candy here for less than $3,000."

SkylersDad said...

Britney to the door greeter:
"Hey geezer, where do I go to find the "Estamos Contratandos"?

or

Where do I find the tampons with extra long strings?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I see Beckeye in here again buying up all the discount Cheezie Poofs, Ima cut that bitch!

J.J. in L.A. said...

Britney (to herself): "Do these sunglasses make my face look fat?"

Or: "Gotta look like regular folks...I hope my short-shorts aren't too long."

Tootsie said...

Even though Britney was only shopping at Target, it quickly became a shopping maul.

Char said...

No room for camel toes here!

Blanche said...

LOL @ K-overfed!

Doc said...

Thinking to herself, "Damn! Does this Hawaiian shirt not totally rock my pink snow boots! I'm lookin' hawt!"

"Where are your candles? I need a wax job 'down there'. These shorts barely hide the ZZ Top I'm sportin'!"

"Do you guys sell vasoline? Like in bulk?"

"Where's the anti-itch cream? Cause I gotta rash the size of Idaho!"

"Damn! They've got this same effing shirt for ten bucks! I paid $750!"

"Let's see...5 lb. bag of pork rinds, check. A case of Old Milwaukee's Best, check. Hannah Montana movie, check. Three bottles of Nyquil, check. Okay, I'm ready for Friday night!"

"Don't mind me, I'm just here to check on sales of my new fragrance, Circus Fantasy."

So far, I think Cormac has this one wrapped up but I can't wait to read the later entries.

Doc

Cora said...

I think 'FREAKSHOW' about sums it up.

Cora said...

Wait! I've got more ~

"Chaotic."

"What U See Is What U Get."

"Me Against Common Sense."

"She'll Never Be Me (And She's SOOOOOO F*cking Relieved!!)"

"Not A Girl, Not Yet A Chick Who Should Be Allowed To Dress Herself."


Yeah, okay, I'm done.

;-)

words...words...words... said...

"Do y'all carry 100 packs of pregnancy tests?"

"Thank you for offering to be a part of Target's marketing campaign, Ms. Spears, but when we advertised jeans at 80% off, that is not what we meant."

"In wacky celebrity news, Britney Spears was the winner of Target's Aileen Wuornos Look-A-Like contest."

"Buy these pink boots at Target, y'all, and help me kick breast cancer right in the cooch!"

Organic Meatbag said...

"Wow guys, this place is waaaayyy too classy for me! Let's go to the Piggly Wiggly!"

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

In another periodic check on the state of her career, Britney heads straight for the bargain bins.

SkylersDad said...

This is submitted in the form of those Demotivators posters:

Rock Bottom
You'll know it when you hit it.

Soda and Candy said...

I got nothin' but I vote for WWW's Aileen Wuornos reference.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

You're, of course, saying that you get two bags of pork rinds, right? One barbecue and one jalapeno?

red said...

And my reign comes to an end....

Your new pic is awesomely creepy!

words...words...words... said...

Thank you, thank you! I think I may get the Firecrotch logo framed in my living room.

And Red, you can hand off the Firecrotch baton to me at the Off-Ramp Motor Lodge out on 101 across from the adult bookstore.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

nicely done!

Soda and Candy said...

Congrats! Excellent use of "y'all".

Cormac Brown said...

Congrats, Words 3X!

Alice said...

haha!! excellently done, all :-)

 

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I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

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