Thursday, March 11, 2010

American Idol 9: 3/11/10 Results

WARNING: Conspiracy theories coming through.

Not only am I pissed because ALL of my predictions this week were wrong (that always puts me in a bad mood), but also this ridonk show just eliminated three of the few contestants I genuinely liked and one who was certainly talented and growing on me.


Now more than ever, I'm sure that the public's "votes" don't mean a thing.

No one can convince me that there are more people out there who would rather endure another of Gokey v2.0's crappy acoustifications (it's a word now, shut up) of a dance-pop song than hear Alex Lambert sing another sweet, raspy tune while looking adorably puppy-like. (Watching him cry tonight felt like getting kicked in the ovaries.)

No one can convince me that the world honestly thinks Lacey Brown is a better vocalist than Katelyn Epperly or Lilly Scott.

While I can believe that people will vote for the incredibly dull Katie Stevens just because she's 17 and has a sick grandmother, I can't believe that Paige Miles' sucktastic performance on Tuesday night inspired more than 17 people to throw a vote her way.

Todrick Hall's elimination is the only one that didn't completely surprise me, because he got off to a shaky start and there's that whole Oz: The Musical scandal. But based solely on last night's performances, there's no way he should have been eliminated before Aaron Kelly or Andrew Garcia.

After watching this show for nine years, it's impossible to not notice a very distinct pattern. Every year, several worthy contestants are dumped in favor of less talented ones. This makes it easier for the judges' favorites to skate through. If you think that Lacey, Aaron, Paige and Tim are making it much further than the Top 8, you're either nuts or related to one of them.

I'm certain that Lilly was dumped because the producers didn't want two "indie" types in the competition. And since Crystal is the favorite, it was bye-bye, Lilly. But as much as I, the judges and the rest of America like Crystal, I still don't see her winning. She'll definitely make it to the Top 4 or 5, but will probably end up this year's "shocking elimination." (Another part of the pattern.) She doesn't seem like the type who will do well within the confines of 19 Management's horribly binding and lengthy contract.

So, an already kind of lame crop of contestants just got lamer. And yet I still watch. I am truly a masochist.

Bye, Todrick. I hope you find the fingertips to your gloves. Bye, Lilly. I'll miss your quirkiness and never-ending supply of feather earrings. Bye, Katelyn. I'll miss your wonderful voice and crazy wall of hair. And, oh...Alex. You're like my scarecrow. I think I'll miss you most of all. Even with the mullet. I was never sure if my soft spot for you came from a maternal place or a slightly dirtier one, but why don't you swing by my place tomorrow? I'll fix you a bowl of soup and we'll figure it out.


EDIT: With all the elimination drama, I almost forgot to mention the hilarious special guest duet by Scott McIntyre and Matt "Massengill" Giraud. Seriously, do people like Giraud? Does he even like himself? And did he hear that Sha Na Na is looking for a new member? I don't know how else to explain that hair.


Find more Idol news and recaps at SirLinksaLot.

16 comments:

J. Hi said...

Oh, I had to turn away during Alex's elim moment. It was too hard.

And Lilly?! NO WAY did she deserve it. Something's rotten in AI tonight.

Dannie said...

All I know is that Crystal is the only reason for watching this season as of now.

Anonymous said...

I find Lily to be a novelty act that has totally destroyed two great songs for two weeks straight.

Original?... Yes!

Still, every song sounds the same, the same styling, same inflections, the same nasal voice and the same total lack of regard to pitch. That makes her a novelty act, not an artist.

Yes, I prefer Lacey over Lily.

Katelyn got the shaft though and was much better and has been better every week then Paige and Katie. I will say that she deserves to be there over Lacey because her body of work has been stronger.

The two that needed to go where Paige and Katie.


Alex has the best voice off all the guys but was painful to watch, I still had him 3rd best of the guys.

Todrick, I would say that he got shafted too.

Renee said...

I immediately looked up your blog after the show because I KNEW you would be able to sum up my feeling...exactly! Someone definitely "took a stool" tonight.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Lilly and Crystal are the only reason to even watch this year. Or were. Still it's not really surprising Lilly's gone, I mean can you see her doing (or wanting to do) a Kara song for her record? She's better than that. They need someone to win who's mainstream as hell, commercial and does exactly what they're told like a puppet, despite all the crap they spout about "be who you are". "Be who you are so long as it fits in with our vision" is what they mean.

Dave said...

To offset the conspiracy theories, consider this:

If the votes really didn't count, Archuleta and Gokey both would have won and Taylor Hick would not.

words...words...words... said...

This post sums up why I don't watch anymore.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

"Matt "Massengill" Giraud"...you are genius.

I'm just so NOT lovin AI this season. For one thing the judges are by far the worst part. They are sending out redonk advice, then contradicting themselves...Simon put the kibosh on that crap the other night, telling Kara her critique was "utter rubbish".

I dont know how this show will survive without his pimp hand. Did Big Mike's performance move you to tears??? "I didn't get it, Dawg"

Idol Women said...

I think Matt Giraud's hair-do was all about forehead wart concealment.

Yikes, I thought of you immediately when Alex was sent home - are you sticking pins in Lady C dolls?! I'm lighting a candle for you two crazy kids.

red said...

I saw a bit of the "guys night" show at a friend's house last night. That Lee Somethingorother is adorable!

Flannery Alden said...

I think when you have two contestants who are splitting a fanbase, like Lily and Crystal,you get shocker/premature eliminations. The one who wins is usually the more marketable or "packaged" one. I'm not surprised at all that Lily left. Crystal seems to be more marketable and therefore more palatable to the people who vote. Especially when up against less talented people who aren't splitting a fanbase.

I'm taking off my propeller hat now.

carissa said...

Ahhh Mullet Boy got cut!?? Who am I going to make fun of now!???

Travis said...

I didn't really care for any of the four that were eliminated this week. So I guess that goes to show that one person's "the show is rigged" conspiracy rant is another person's "I'm ok with that result".

Two choices...accept that people like who they like and they may not like who you like, or quit watching. I finally learned to do that with this show, and I'm happier for it.

Sarah P said...

And then we had to sit through another one of blind Scott's off-key bore-a-thons?! WTF?

Kristi Mantoni said...

I was in AC and missed this show but I just watched it last night. SERIOUSLY! WTF were they thinking with that horrible duet?? I think this was suppose to be on the finale last year but got bumped because they were running short on "time". I believe THAT one! Watching our little Alex get kicked off was very hard to watch. My heart ached for that little banana!

Penny said...

awwwww...I sorta liked Alex's odd voice. I don't get the Leif Garrett haircut but I loved the voice

 

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