WARNING: Conspiracy theories coming through.
Not only am I pissed because ALL of my predictions this week were wrong (that always puts me in a bad mood), but also this ridonk show just eliminated three of the few contestants I genuinely liked and one who was certainly talented and growing on me.
No one can convince me that there are more people out there who would rather endure another of Gokey v2.0's crappy acoustifications (it's a word now, shut up) of a dance-pop song than hear Alex Lambert sing another sweet, raspy tune while looking adorably puppy-like. (Watching him cry tonight felt like getting kicked in the ovaries.)
No one can convince me that the world honestly thinks Lacey Brown is a better vocalist than Katelyn Epperly or Lilly Scott.
While I can believe that people will vote for the incredibly dull Katie Stevens just because she's 17 and has a sick grandmother, I can't believe that Paige Miles' sucktastic performance on Tuesday night inspired more than 17 people to throw a vote her way.
Todrick Hall's elimination is the only one that didn't completely surprise me, because he got off to a shaky start and there's that whole Oz: The Musical scandal. But based solely on last night's performances, there's no way he should have been eliminated before Aaron Kelly or Andrew Garcia.
After watching this show for nine years, it's impossible to not notice a very distinct pattern. Every year, several worthy contestants are dumped in favor of less talented ones. This makes it easier for the judges' favorites to skate through. If you think that Lacey, Aaron, Paige and Tim are making it much further than the Top 8, you're either nuts or related to one of them.
I'm certain that Lilly was dumped because the producers didn't want two "indie" types in the competition. And since Crystal is the favorite, it was bye-bye, Lilly. But as much as I, the judges and the rest of America like Crystal, I still don't see her winning. She'll definitely make it to the Top 4 or 5, but will probably end up this year's "shocking elimination." (Another part of the pattern.) She doesn't seem like the type who will do well within the confines of 19 Management's horribly binding and lengthy contract.
So, an already kind of lame crop of contestants just got lamer. And yet I still watch. I am truly a masochist.
Bye, Todrick. I hope you find the fingertips to your gloves. Bye, Lilly. I'll miss your quirkiness and never-ending supply of feather earrings. Bye, Katelyn. I'll miss your wonderful voice and crazy wall of hair. And, oh...Alex. You're like my scarecrow. I think I'll miss you most of all. Even with the mullet. I was never sure if my soft spot for you came from a maternal place or a slightly dirtier one, but why don't you swing by my place tomorrow? I'll fix you a bowl of soup and we'll figure it out.
EDIT: With all the elimination drama, I almost forgot to mention the hilarious special guest duet by Scott McIntyre and Matt "Massengill" Giraud. Seriously, do people like Giraud? Does he even like himself? And did he hear that Sha Na Na is looking for a new member? I don't know how else to explain that hair.
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