Happy Birthday, Pac-Man, You Little Son of a Bitch

I'm sure by now you've seen the really cool interactive Google doodle in honor of Pac-Man's birthday. The little yellow glutton officially turns 30 tomorrow. While the doodle is "really cool," it's also reminded me of how much I always hated that game because I SUCK at it. I don't think I ever got further than the 3rd (peach) level, even way back when I was little and my fingers were more nimble.

Obviously, if I was never good at the game using a joystick, I'm not going to be any better on a version on which I have to use my keyboard arrow keys, right? But I tried anyway. It was rather frustrating, but there was one payoff: realizing just how many swear words are in my arsenal, and being extremely impressed.

Here is me dying on the second level with only a few pellets left. Damn bastard ghost pieces of shit.
My game was always Centipede. I haven't been able to find any info on its exact release date but it was some time in 1980, so it will also be turning 30 this year. Hopefully, Google will honor it as well, but Centipede isn't worth playing unless it's the real deal with the trackball. That trackball is my bitch.

Since I don't have the technology, money, time, or level of nerdiness and/or interest to create my own interactive doodles, I'm going to honor these great games by posting a couple of ridiculous songs by Buckner & Garcia.

Everyone remembers "Pac-Man Fever," right? I had the 45. I'm not sure why.



Now, THIS is the 45 I wish I'd had. Somehow, Centipede lover that I was, I never heard this song, "Ode to a Centipede." I'm so glad I found it now. It is gloriously cheesy. If Styx had decided to do another horrible concept album after Kilroy Was Here, this would have been that record's "Mr. Roboto."