Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Caption Crotch-test Contest #35

"Now stay just like that, baby, so Mr. Rockwell can finish his painting of us."


And there is this month's winning caption, provided by the whimsical Flannery Alden. There were quite a few funny entries this time around, but this one really cracked me up. I mean, can't you just picture a sketch of this lovely scene on the Saturday Evening Post? Or a giant popcorn tin? I can. Obviously, so can Flannery. And it's amazing that she can see anything through all the smoke coming from her crotch fire. So, brava, miss.

And now, those who finished second, third and fourth breast best:

Baby Daisy is obviously cuckoo for Coco's nuts. - Skyler's Dad

"In the unlikely event of a water landing, your lunch bags can be used as flotation devices." - Gwen

"Bitch please, even I can tell these aren't real." - Soda and Candy

30 comments:

SkylersDad said...

Baby Daisey is obviously cuckoo for Coco's nuts.

Alternate:
Motorboat me like daddy does or I swear I'll suffocate you with these.

Too far?

Scope said...

Got milk? No. But got a whole mess of silicone and other space-age polymers.

My word ver = pallize like "Pal-lize, those ain't real."

Soda and Candy said...

Baby: "Bitch please, even I can tell these aren't real."

Tootsie said...

I don't know nothin' 'bout breast feedin' no baby.

carissa said...

That baby obviously isn't breast feeding.. that's why the boobs are so big.

Im drunk and have nothing!

words...words...words... said...

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing!"

words...words...words... said...

"Mom. Seriously? Get Keira Knightley in here. I need to order off the child's menu."

I'm not quite as drunk as Carissa, but I still have nothing.

Cormac Brown said...

Tits for two
And two, for tits
No milk will come
From these silicone kits

Cormac Brown said...

"I put my ears between your cleavage, but instead of hearing the sea, I hear Daddy rapping "New Jack Hustler. H-u-s-t-l-e-r, hustler."

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Baby to mom:

"Alright let's get this over with. Believe me this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you."

Seriously, nothing tops Sky's Dad's first one. hahahaha!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Mom, there's a piece of plastic in my drink.

I need more coffee, obviously.

Cora said...

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute: you mean to tell me ICE-T actually has a wife named COCO? What's the baby's freakin' name? Soda?

Professor Chaos said...

She may never go hungry, but she might get smothered to death! By the way, who's the father? No way Ice-T has a baby that pale.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

That's right, honey. I'll buy you a pair too on your 11th birthday.

Flannery Alden said...

Now stay just like that, baby, so Mr. Rockwell can finish his painting of us.

Gwen said...

"In the unlikely event of a water landing, your lunch bags can be used as flotation devices."

Ricky Shambles said...

"Mommy, I'm so hungry I could eat - oh, holy crap. Nevermind. I'm good."

Ian said...

Giving new meaning to the term "milk duds."

gennifer6 said...

"By the way, who's the father? No way Ice-T has a baby that pale."

Don;t know if Professor Chaos meant for that to be a caption or just a comment, but I think that should win.

Anonymous said...

To paraphrase Scott McKenzie:
If you're going,
To (suck those titties),
Be sure to wear
Some flowers in your hair...

Flannery Alden said...

OMG! I can't believe it! I'll remember this honor for as long as I can.

And really? That's the picture you went with?

Thank you, Beckeye! You've made my day.

SkylersDad said...

Well done Flannery, is this the part where we all trot out "it was an honor just to be nominated?"

Flannery Alden said...

Oh, and I almost forgot to thank the little people.

cube said...

Bravo to Flannery...

I got here too late to contribute but it would've been:

Got silicone?

mylittlebecky said...

that woman is obviously an altogether different species than the baby. yikes.

gennifer6 said...

congratulations, Flan! I kinda, um, rooted for the other guy, see what kind of friend I am?

Jules said...

LOVE it!

Jon said...

Speaking of classy artwork, how about that picture on the wall in the background? I believe that's Picasso's "Stripper on Pole".

LiLu said...

I bet we can order a popcorn tin with that picture on it.

Just sayin'.

BeckEye said...

Jon - I noticed that, too, and then couldn't stop thinking about how classy their house must look. I'm sure it gives Graceland a run for its money.

 

Who Does This Broad Think She Is?

My photo
I am a winsome muse who was sent to Earth to inspire an artist to turn a vacant building into the world's coolest disco roller rink. We fell in love along the way, and I foolishly gave up my immortality. When the disco craze ended and all the roller rinks were shut down, that lazy bum wouldn't get a job. We broke up and I was stuck on Earth with nothing to do and no one to inspire. So, now I write a blog.

What Do Others Think of BeckEye?

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"You're my hero." - Candy

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